Success/Success Mindset
COERCING YOURSELF INTO THE WRONG LIFE
I had business idea after business idea after business idea flop, and fail, and fail even more, embarrass me (in my own mind at least!), and I felt so over myself, certain everyone who knew me was as well, that I was continually the person who would have the ‘greatest and latest idea’, be ALL in on that shiz like nobody’s business, and then a few months later … ?
Crickets.
Often times these business ideas were with like-minded entrepreneurially inclined friends. I would be SO excited. SO gung ho. So would they! And we’d spend HOURS meeting, planning, dreaming big, starting to make shit happen.
Certain that this was gonna be IT! Certain we would do what it takes to make sure it WAS! And then inevitably … eventually … without exception … UGH.
I’d feel that slow creep.
It started as a slight disconnection at first. Some small part of me just kind of … didn’t feel like going to a planned meeting that day. Another part of me which had to be pretty actively coerced into doing my assigned tasks. Another piece again which started to wonder –
IS this really that cool?
DO I really wanna do it?
IS it even gonna work?
Ugh!
And eventually I couldn’t deny it anymore, not to myself and, where relevant, if it was a joint business idea, not to my friends, and I’d finally front up and basically just admit some version of “I’m just not feeling it anymore. Sorry … “.
A year or two back, I went on a 2-hour drinks date with a man who I’d been talking to excitedly online for WEEKS
before meeting. We’d been in a day to day pretty deep conversation, we’d laid out life values and desires and relationship wants and it really seemed we were on the same page! I was so excited to meet, and then when we finally did, the SECOND he walked in to the bar my energy said NO. No no no no no!
I still stayed for a drink or two and we had a great conversation, because at the end of the day two badass peeps (or really, any two peeps!) can have a great conversation with or without chemistry, but the next day he had missed the memo on the no chemistry thing.
“I’ve never seen anyone look at me the way you looked at me”, he said.
Actually this exact line happened on/after at least 4 dates I can remember over the last few years! And I would always think –
“But the way I was looking at you was not me in love with you. It was me reading you like a book, looking straight into the soul of you, summing up your energy, isn’t that … obvious? What everybody does?!”
And I’d say what had to be said, and what I freaking ALWAYS seemed to end up saying, in
every.single.dating.situation.that came along!
“I’m just not feeling what I need to feel anymore in order to continue moving forward. Sorry … “
Why did I always meet these guys who I just couldn’t FEEL anything for, even if they were cool guys? Or, alternatively, I’d come across men who I thought maybe I would like to have some interest from and then they wouldn’t NOTICE me. Honestly, over the 4 or so years of being single, between leaving my marriage and meeting my now partner, I often felt suspicious that GOD MIGHT BE PUTTING AN INVISIBILITY BUBBLE AROUND ME.
Either things would fall apart before they’d even begun … or I wouldn’t be noticed at all … or I’d just lose interest to where I couldn’t even pretend anymore for a minute!
It was EXACTLY like back in the day when every damn business idea that came along just fell apart pretty quick … or something about it seemed like it wouldn’t work for ME, like I wasn’t good enough to really crush it … or I’d just lose interest and not be able to fake it.
But by golly gosh have I sometimes wondered, with business and also with men, whether I needed to for just a minute in order to, I dunno? Get through some kind of sticking point and then maybe after a bit it would just … work?!
It never worked 
Not least because I never could actually follow through on the ‘just get through that sticking point’ bit!!
And even once I got a little further along with business, and I did indeed start to make some money, move some things forward, figure some stuff out, and the ‘hustle’ of DO paid off to some degree … it just never really QUITE felt right, you know?
Kinda like pushing a ‘was never the ACTUAL true God thang’ relationship up up up hill because you were in it and better STAY in it now, what TF else were you supposed to do?!
Look.
I think that the businesses, and the relationships, that you do actually END UP IN (as opposed to the ones that never even got off the ground) were indeed exactly what you were meant to end up in, even if you were in ’em for YEARS with a realisation that ‘THAT’S NOT THE THING. Not the God thing’.
The End!
But sooner or later, it IS time for you to confess –
THE END.
And here is how it went down, in business:
Eventually, I gave in to being all that I’d always known I was meant to be and yet never knew how to be and I realised that what I knew or thought I needed to know or was ready for or whatEVER, had nothing to do with anything, and that I just got to let GO now,
and let God.
I took the leap of faith to anchor in to the business of my SOUL, the purpose-led EVERYTHING, and to just decide –
I get to have what I see inside of me.
And so much more besides.
And better even than what I could possibly have imagined.
The End!
Wanna know when my nearly double 8-figures now all soul-led ‘just wake up every day and be me’ online empire blew TF up and became a THING?
And when I say a minute, maybe it was a lifetime because that’s what came before it but honestly … the reality I’d been waiting to one day be good enough for really did show up as soon as I completely turned my back on any other option. EVEN THOUGH I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO CREATE THAT REALITY OR WHERE OR HOW IT WOULD SHOW UP FROM!
Wanna know when my God ordained soulmate relationship showed up, beyond EVERY possible thing I could have ever dreamed of or asked??
And just surrendered to God the truth that I simply wouldn’t even TRY to try with anything other than what he had for me anymore!
For a very long time I suspected that God had me in some sort of invisibility bubble when it came to men. That I wouldn’t be able to see or be seen until the right one came along.
Somewhere along the way, I asked for it.
Just like somewhere along the way, I asked for and surrendered to not having any part of business or money or LIFE work if it weren’t me doing what I was meant to do,
being who I was meant to be,
The End!
And it’s funny.
Don’t you think?
Just how damn long we spend chasing so hard to try and make the wrong thing work.
When the whole entire time the EVERY thing could show up for us,
And deny all else.
It’s actually very simple, the ‘have it all’ life.
all the while surrendering to the fact that it may not.
Which would sound like a real bitch if it weren’t for the fact that trusting in God, in soul, in life, in you means you ALWAYS HAVE WHAT YOU NEED ANYWAY.
Just something to think about,
as you go chase some sorta dream today.
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