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Purpose

SOMETIMES I THINK IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER TO NOT BE ME

When I was 13, I got in trouble in Science class and was kicked out temporarily; sent to the Principal’s office I believe, for being impudent. (I don’t know that the word impudent was used, but I feel it adds to the story to imagine it to have been so let’s go with it).

What was funny was, I was such a good good girl.

I was always the good girl.

The straight A, excuse me, A+++ student in every academic class, the ‘school square’, ‘teacher’s pet’, top of the class type of person who, additional to her academic success was always driven by wanting to please and indeed impress her teachers, parents, any and all people of authority or respect.

So it wasn’t exactly on brand to be booted out of class!

But, as had occurred perhaps a handful of times prior, and certainly occurred on the odd occasion since, when something started to bubble up in me, eventually?

It came out.

What had happened in that class was simple: evolution was being taught, and I just couldn’t get my head to come to terms with accepting it. Not my head, nor my heart, nor (not that I would have thought about it this way at the time), my soul. I just didn’t believe it. I tried for a little bit to stay silent, but, well, I had questions. Things that didn’t line up. Things I just … wondered, you know? So, I started to say them. Ask them. Wonder them. And okay, fine, dispute them fervently with the teacher.

To me, I just don’t really care what your science says. I KNOW creation is reality, I know it in the only place that actually matters. Incidentally there is plenty of science to back it up if you wanna go looking for it (indeed the early scientists such as Galileo were largely Christian!), but – as I said, I don’t care about the science anyway!

I know what I know, I know when my beliefs and inner truth overrides even ALL the so-called evidence in the world, yes I likely WILL go and find ‘proof’ to back up my viewpoint, but zero part of me needs it and either way –

I have this part of me that just doesn’t stay quiet when passion, certainty, soul truth has something to say.

Even as the shy, extremely introverted, ‘wanna impress all the teachers and always be top of the class good girl’, I found that that part of me took over from time to time.

Wanna know a not-so-secret about me, and how I’ve created such insane success in my business, my money, my life?

The soul certain part of me STILL just takes over the introverted, ‘want people to like me’, me, who would in her human state prefer to stay quiet and not rock the boat.

Nah, actually the truth is that both those parts of me are pretty well blended now and I enjoy rocking the damn boat and knowing that no matter how wild it gets I am SO freaking grounded and strong in who I am that it’s near to impossible to shake me. All that happens is I get stronger and MORE certain in my core!

I wasn’t even going to write today about this side of ‘me being me’ actually. I was going to write about always being on the go a million miles an hour and the back and forth of THAT, and of falling into acceptance with your crazy chaotic side. But instead, sure, let’s talk about what’s coming out. For a change!! Haha.

Which is –

That side of me who just can’t stop won’t stop on ANYTHING, including speaking her truth no matter how inappropriate, unpopular, uncomfortable. That side who has come out to play again of late relevant to … shall we say … current world sitch, and who has had naysayers from here and there popping up like random little hungry hippos shaking their fists and demanding ‘science’ or ‘proof’ or ‘whatever’ because otherwise YOU NOT ALLOWED TO BELIEVE THAT LADY YOU BELIEVING BAD THINGS LADY YOU TELLING PEOPLE BAD THINGS LADY YOU STOP LADY.

Haha. Weird ass hippos, I know.

To me it’s a mix of eye-roll inducing and low key irritating and just plain hilarious that people ACTUALLY still believe in the idea of science trumping all. I mean … which science, firstly, where’d’ya get it from, secondly, who told you it was true, mostly, and why don’t we just play a til death do us part game of my vs your science if we really WANT to (because you can find science for anything), but seriously –

How in the name of ALL get out is anybody actually walking around in life basing their choices and beliefs on what they are told to believe and think?!

To me it seems natural to question EVERYTHING,
to find your own way on EVERYTHING,
and to be guided from within on EVERYTHING.

Even being Christian was something I veered away from for YEARS despite being born and brought up in it, and went into ALLLL the soul and also – yep! science and ‘evidence’ – questioning around before eventually being all in on it! All grounded in the simple fact that – this is what my soul FELT.

When people wanna throw down at me about politics,
about what is right vs wrong,
about vaccination,
about medicine or health,
about ANYTHING,

and their argument is ‘but this is what the Important And Fancy Appointed People Said is True’, it’s truly bizarre to me.

In the end, it ALWAYS has to come back to – but what does your SOUL say? And then, if you’re a person who naturally leans into learning, as I myself do, for sure you can go and find your science, your evidence, your proof, ’cause it’s interesting and fun. But not EVER because you need it. Why would you need ANYTHING outside of you in order to know what is true, and the answer is –

You don’t.

In the end, YOU ALREADY ALWAYS KNEW WHAT YOU BELIEVED, ON EVERYTHING.

And,

when were you planning to ever back yourself on being you?

Really, our entire society and anything that is deemed common or normal or acceptable to believe still had to originate SOMEWHERE. So, in all things, who made that the rule and why exactly are you following it? And why do they get to play God and make the rules? And what if there were a deeper or different truth that one day will be accepted as normal (shocking idea, not like that’s every happened before in history¬†), and either way – what do YOU believe?

When we’re talking about living purposefully, living with intent, being of service and value and impact to others, living a life that is GOOD and JUST and TRUE, our own internal compass has to override EVERYTHING.

But here is why that is so hard for people, so scary, so confronting, and, often, leads them to really get quite OUTRAGED at the you who is ABLE to stay grounded to core, and a deeper or higher or more universal truth –

People lost connection to soul, for the most part, a long time ago. And maybe never had it.

The typical person, even of reasonable intelligence, long ago let go of the natural part of them that questioned, wrinkled up their nose, saw things a different way.

For many people, it feels almost like they never had that in them I guess … or that it was so deeply buried that in their entire LIFEtime they’ve never even considered non-conformity.

To me, and those who align with what I’m saying here, whether or not they hold the same beliefs as me (which is not remotely the point, and not remotely required!), we can’t even IMAGINE not questioning every.fucking.thing.

I see this in my daughter daily. She just WILL not accept anything unless she, well, accepts it. And she will tear apart every damn bit of it until she’s happy. IT IS FULL ON AND MAKES ME AT TIMES WANT TO SCREAM AND WRING MY HANDS IN DESPAIR BECAUSE IT NEVER ENDS!! And? I am SO SO SO proud of her and in so much admiration of her, because the girl is UNSHAKEABLE on who and what she is and what she believes, even as she openly learns and learns and grows.

IN her learning though, unlike many adults, she trusts her intuition and her internal compass, which is why she just doesn’t have it in her to accept things just because they are told to her.

She accepts them if it aligns, and if it doesn’t then she figures it TF out.

Do you?

Do the people you’re allowing in to your space to do business and life with?

I look at some of the hangers on who are committed to arguing til their blue in the face anytime someone such as me questions the norm, and I wonder – when was the last time this person even CONSIDERED taking it on board fully as their own responsibility to determine truth? Or are they so deeply coded to not question that it literally doesn’t even pass through their mind?

Sometimes my friends ask me why I don’t just block or delete or ignore when people just keep harping on in disagreeance with me. The reason is, firstly, it doesn’t happen very often, because I am great at magnetically calling in connections who were meant to be in my space because there is an ALIGNMENT, and secondly – I like it from time to time. Which I guess is why I call it in and allow it.

I like it because it strengthens me even further into who I am. It hones my certainty, and sure, I’ll admit it, also my wit.¬†🙂

And it reminds me why I am so deeply connected to continuing to do the job of being me.

The thing is,

that shy introverted girl within still just wants the approval and respect of everyone.

The thing is,

she was never actually in charge anyway.

Now imagine –

What if from this day forward you showed up from a place of responsibility to who you know you’re meant to be,

and what you can’t NOT find your own truth on.

Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to just not be this person. To be another bland insipid femmebot posting agreeable things to agreeable people who agreed to agree with what they were told to agree on forever. How agreeable!

But when you think about it, really –

It’s the hardest thing in the world to go to bed each night and know you weren’t you.

So throw off the mask that fear has you wearing.

You got reality to create but first you gotta question it.

And seriously – let go of the idea of it EVER resulting in anything other than you impacting more of the people you came here to impact, while doing more of the job you came here to do.

It’s actually all that happens anyway. For every 1 person who thinks you’re an irresponsible jerk-face there are literally 10,000 x 10,000 more who NEEDED the truth you are in the world.

How wildly irresponsible and indeed God awful it would be, therefore, to not be it.

The easiest job in the world, actually, is to be you.

The worst is to deny even one part of you.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

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