The Peculiar Stupidity of Knowing What You Want Yet Still Not Having It …
Do you know how rare it is to actually have clarity around what you really want?
If you know what matters to you and what you’d LOVE to see happen in your business and life you are truly one of the lucky few.
Most people walk around with vague and wishy-washy ideas of making money, or having more free time, or being able to travel more, spend time with their kids more, find a truly loving relationship, do something that stimulates them, go on that adventure one day, feel happier, have more energy etc etc etc …
Basically bland and pretty much meaningless bullshit based on the typical markers of success according to a society that is, if we’re being honest about it, pretty fucking fucked up in its values and pretty fucking weak and scared in its get up and go.
Those sort of ‘this must be what I need to be happy’ goals are empty.
They could be anyone’s! It’s like rent a dream list or something in most people’s fantasies.
Which means that if you’re someone who has actually taken the time to think about what you REALLY want, maybe even to write down the specifics of how that would look and feel, you think about it in some form pretty much daily, you love reading posts that tell you that you can have it all, and you totally believe that you DO have choice and power over your life but yet you STILL DON’T HAVE WHAT YOU WANT?
You really do need to stop and take a moment to question yourself here.
“I’m so glad I waited so long to really chase my dreams!” SAID NOBODY EVER and yet day after day you tell yourself not yet, I can’t, not today, I don’t know how, I’m not ready, or you simply fill your day with so much STUFF that you can ALMOST get away with pretending you didn’t have time to even think about those big one day dreams and desires, it’s not your fault, you forgot!
You were so busy.
You do realise that being too busy to live your dreams today means that you’ll never see those dreams come to reality, don’t you?
If you’re going to change it has to be today.
If you’re going to create a different future than the one your current actions are crafting then you have to change the actions NOW.
Or else you’ll look back not on a day filled with so much STUFF you couldn’t think, no really, you forgot, but you will look back on a LIFE filled with so much stuff –
You couldn’t think –
No really –
You forgot.
To live your dreams.
To live your fucking LIFE.
I don’t know which is worse, being so stupid you forget to do the actual fucking work to create the dreams you SAY you want and BELIEVE you can have, or being consciously day by day aware that you are NOT DOING WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD and yet continuing on your path of still not doing it anyway!
Of course the reality is you didn’t forget, you aren’t so busy that you ‘can’t, and I don’t know how is not a valid excuse.
The reality is incredibly wonderfully but also terrifyingly simple:
If you don’t have what you say you want it’s because you’ve chosen not to have it just now.
And when I say just now? You KNOW I mean ever.
So here’s the thing gorgeous –
No. You don’t need to ‘do more work’ to understand your particular brand of sabotage or why you continually resist doing what you know you need to do, what you said you’d do.
No. You don’t need to go and figure shit out or ‘get more clarity’ or somehow become CERTAIN about the exact path necessary for you to achieve your dreams.
And hell fucking NO you don’t need to finish off or even invest another moment in all the other stuff that’s currently taking your time and energy, the stuff you are quite literally giving your LIFE for instead of giving your life to what you were CALLED to give it for and what you LONG for it to be about!
So what DO you want?
What do you really REALLY want?
Are you serious? Are you seriously-for-fucking-real when you say you want that stuff? ARE YOUR DREAMS YOUR REAL DREAMS and would LIVING that dreams fill you with ABSOLUTE PURPOSE PASSION AND FLOW?
Maybe you’re not sure.
Maybe you don’t really want it.
Maybe you’ve rented a dream list from somebody who you look up to or think is cool or think has ‘made it’.
But if your dreams are YOUR actual dreams and your heart just CRAVES them coming to life then for the love of God woman! What kind of fool’s game are you playing letting even another SECOND pass by in which you don’t actively chase those dreams!
Sure, maybe you’ll get there and it WON’T be all you thought it would be, maybe your dreams WILL change along the road to creating them, maybe you’ll be impanted with entirely new gifts and talents and a completely randomly different calling!
But you’re sure as shit not going to know if living your fantasy life is going to be as good as you think it will be or worth the continued effort of maintaining if you DON’T EVEN FUCKING GIVE IT A GO.
You know?
Now here’s the (other thing) okay –
Sometimes, on the path to living our dreams, we forget about the fact that right now today we can ALREADY LIVE OUR DREAMS.
It’s normal that when you think about the big ‘one day’ things you’d love to see happen – the big-time fame, fortune, recognition, freedom, etc – that you forget about the everyday livin’ the dream stuff which is available to you right now, today.
The moments of madness and laughter with your kids –
The getting lost in your writing or art –
The time spent lying on your back on the sand or the grass and just breathing, gazing up at the clouds and letting your mind fill with calm –
The pleasure of a stimulating conversation with someone who makes you think and smile –
The feeling of empowerment that comes from giving it your EVERYTHING in a great workout –
The creating of something just for the joy and love of it –
The certainty of being caught up in doing the work you are REALLY meant to do, and lost in the flow of it –
The breaking of your normal routine or schedule to do something crazy or fun –
These are the moments, if you’re honest with yourself, that you look back on and think “THAT was what it was all about”.
A simple exercise to be sure whether this is true for you is simply to look back over the past year and ask yourself what your favourite memories are. It’s a powerful reminder fo what really matters, and a powerful wake-up call not to let being BUSY – even in the pursuit of the big things – to stop you from having it all right now.
But here is where living your daily dream ties in with chasing your BIG dreams –
The whole point of your big dreams is that the pathway to GETTING there, as well as the eventual outcome, allows you to live your DAILY dreams fully. You think you want money, recognition, fortune, freedom?
No.
You want meaning.
You want significance.
You want joy.
You want connection.
You want flow.
You want peace.
You want choice.
And ALL of these are things that are available to you RIGHT NOW TODAY.
But here is the CATCH. When you allow your life to be filled day by day with being BUSY, with snatched moments here or there where you get to do something that truly MATTERS to you, or dip your toe in the water of chasing your truly big-ass dreams and desires, you are NOT living your daily dream.
You’re responding –
You’re REACTING –
You’re FOLLOWING.
You’re not producing.
You’re not creating.
You’re not, in short, living the life you say you want and know you can have!
Which is really very PECULIAR given the fact that you ARE putting so much effort, time, money and energy into what you ARE doing!
So I guess what it comes down to is this, and it’s very very simple:
Do you want what you say you want?
Do you really REALLY want it?
Do you want to live your dreams NOW not have them eternally in the future?
And if you answered yes to these three questions are you GOING TO DO THE FUCKING WORK?
And is it going to be today?
If you’re not sure, can’t say a RESOUNDING hell yes, then be gone with you and your ridiculous, ridiculous pretend dreams because, and when you rest your head on the pillow tonight, know this:
Your future is already here.
And it looks like the awful fucking mess that you’re life is right now.
And the fact that you are one of the VERY few people who KNEW she wanted something different?
Means you are a VERY peculiar type of stupid person. And, no doubt, an eternally frustrated one. There really is nothing worse than knowing things could be different yet choosing not to change them.
But that’s your choice gorgeous.
Always, your choice …
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