TOUGHEN UP, TAKE THE DAMN KNOCKS, AND CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT
Imagine if, every time you got knocked back or down or even just roughed up a little by life, you made it all about you.
“Wahhhhhh!”
“This means I’m not good enough!”
“Obviously LIFE ITSELF hates me and is out to get me!”
“I clearly didn’t DO it right, I’m such a loser”
“Wahhhh wahhhh wahhhh wahhhhh, I’ll NEVER get what I want!”
Imagine?
Some of you don’t have to imagine at all, this is literally how you live your life.
You put the hours and effort in to build a business, to launch a product, or get your art out into the world, and, well –
It doesn’t work.
Nobody really listens or pays attention or cares.
And you feel as though the wind is knocked out of you, you did so much, you tried so hard, you REALLY showed up, and how this!
It’s not fair!
So away you retreat, tail between your legs, contracted energy abounding and your deepest fears about NOT BEING CUT OUT FOR THIS OR EVEN A LITTLE BIT WORTHY are brought to the surface.
If you were good enough, it would have worked!
If you were confident enough, it would have been different!
If you were cool enough, you’d succeed!
If you knew what the other successful kids knew and had done it right, you’d be up there with them!
Wham!
Bam!
Whack!
Smack!
Back and forth your head flies as you are hit from one side and then the other, you can barely reset your posture and meanwhile you’re not even trying to you are RUNNING SCARED, frantically falling over yourself to get away as the tears bubble to the surface and the bravado you’d temporarily summoned to TRY and be that person just sort of –
Fizzles away.
Did you know that successful people, the ones to whom business and money success is a given and JUST HOW IT SHOULD BE WILL BE MUST BE, don’t do this?
They may have in earlier years.
But at some point, in order to breakthrough, they had to let go of that, and they had to realise what successful people in ANY area of life know, understand, and live by:
If it doesn’t work, it’s not about me.
It has nothing to DO with me, and literally zero reflection on my worthiness or badassery.
Sure, maybe there’s a way in which I could have gone more all in, showed up more, so of course I will learn from each time something doesn’t work but it has NOTHING TO DO WITH MY WORTH OR RIGHT TO ACHIEVE, RECEIVE, HAVE AND DO AND BE ALL THE THINGS.
Flat out, I will achieve, receive, have and do and be all of the things which are inside of me when I stay the course on that shit, just keep on putting one foot in front of the other, and just.keep.going.
NOT when I fall over myself to get away when something doesn’t work, or when I feel like I got knocked back or down.
When THAT happens, the correct response is ‘so what?’
Recalibrate.
Reground.
Notice, perhaps, where I wasn’t in alignment and thus allowed this.
AND THEN KEEP GOING.
I’ve understood this inherently in business for years now, but I had it really driven home to me a week or so back while doing 1:1 sparring with my Muay Thai trainer.
So often, I was still retreating when he came in to whack me. Cowering, a long-held instinct to get away. And feeling that slight bubbling up of tears, a ridiculous underlying assumption that me being hit or failing to be on the offence meant something about me, that I’m not good enough, cool enough, quick enough, or worthy.
What Iggy reminded me of, was the exact same thing I DO do in business.
You get hit, so what? Doesn’t matter.
Hit again, who cares? Doesn’t matter.
Still AGAIN, SO WHAT? It doesn’t MATTER.
This is exactly how I do business.
Something doesn’t work, so what? Sure, I’ll feel annoyed for a bit, and I’ll definitely quickly check in on where I was not in alignment, but RETREAT?
Get sad, or scared, or down, or butthurt?
Why the fuck would I do that?! What a waste of time, and also – stupid, as SOMETHING NOT WORKING OR SOMETHING KNOCKING YOU DOWN IS NOT A REFLECTION ON YOUR WORTH.
It MAY be a reflection on your groundedness, and there is always room to improve there, and become more set on being fully you, but even when grounded, in alignment, present –
Shit still gonna not work out from time to time.
I had to learn this in order to BECOME this, it’s not that I got to where I could ‘afford’ to have it not matter with business or money and then take this mindset on.
It was the taking on of this mindset that made me the stable, certain, grounded as fuck WARRIOR of business who keeps.on.going. no matter what.
No need to swing wildly.
No need to try and work for the sake of it.
But EVERY need and desire to swing that bat as and when I know it should be, following soul guidance, and if it doesn’t work then SO WHAT, it doesn’t matter, reset and have at it again.
I don’t have to tell you that all of this is true across all areas of your life.
Fitness or dieting attempts don’t get you where you wanna go, and everybody else seems to have it so much easier?
Are you gonna go crying into a box of cookies, go way off track with your exercise for days or weeks on end, ‘crack the shits’ about how you’re not good enough, or are you going to shrug and jig it off, know that it has NOTHING to do with you as far as your WORTH, and then get the fuck on with it?
Press forward.
Relentlessly.
From alignment.
Knowing and trusting that the breakthrough HAS to come it always DOES, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel knocked down along the way.
You can get up.
You can understand this is part of creating success in all areas.
You can keep going.
Dating shit not playing out the way you thought it would, or should?
You had a great connection and now it’s fizzled out?
“Wahhhh! I must not be good enough! I’m clearly not worthy of love! I did something wrong! Wahhhhhh!”
Get a fucking grip.
This was just not your person.
It has NOTHING to do with your worth.
Don’t go bury your head and your heart in all your sorrows or fears or ideas about how men are this or that and it’s not worth it.
It just means – keep on keeping on!
That’s the entire story!
Like it or not, if you want to have the everything you dream of across every area of your life, then you are GOING to have to become okay with rolling with the punches.
And you’re also going to have to become the person who picks themselves up, resets, recalibrates, RELENTLESSLY, knowing that if they simply don’t allow themselves to be swayed by the knocks the opening WILL show up and the breakthrough will come.
Success is not for everyone.
It’s NOT for the faint-hearted.
FEW will choose to have what it takes to stay the course, be brave, not settle, or sacrifice, or backdown, or create their outcomes from fear.
But it IS a choice.
The whole entire thing is just a choice.
And right now you’re either choosing to repeatedly retreat, and wondering why you can barely seem to catch your breath before you feel knocked down again, you feel teary and confronted and scared ALL THE DAMN TIME, or you are choosing to ground.
To take the knocks as they come at you.
SO WHAT?
It’s not about me.
I KNOW what I’m here for.
I KNOW it is available.
And I know I have what it takes, so yeah I WILL take whatever I need to take along the way, because in the end?
I’ll be the last one standing.
As the entire world opens up before me.
And gives me everything I always knew was mine.
Because I deserved it?
Sure. But so does everyone who never has it.
So really –
Because you stayed the damn course for it, and became strong enough to withstand the hits along the way, and to see them for what they are –
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Except an opportunity to grow.
Become more certain.
More relentless.
More you.
Quit being such a damn baby when you don’t get what you want.
Toughen up.
And create the life you’re meant for.
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