Expansive As Fuck

Don’t look at the women or men who you admire, look up to, consider to ‘have their shit together’ or be SO confident and self-assured, and assume that they are any less human than you.

As a prolific writer and content creator who has built a mult-million dollar / year business just by pouring out her soul each day, I can tell you that one of the states of being I most REGULARLY find myself in is feeling self-conscious and exposed as fucccccckkkk.

You know that walk of shame type feeling? I get it all the time! I’ll get off a livestream and feel this kind of conditioned response that makes me want to shrink … hide … I feel like I SHOULD contract, I feel self-conscious, I feel like ‘did I go too far?’

‘Was I silly?’

‘Do people think I’m an idiot?’

‘Why did I say THAT?!’

Ugh. I’ll often walk away from filming and have such a STRONG urge to just go bury my head under the blankets, it feels like I did something almost WRONG!

Or, I’ll publish a blog post, pour out my heart, bleed all over the damn page, and then head off to the gym feeling as though I am COATED in something I need to shake off, get away from. Some sort of embarrassment mixed with judgement of myself or fear OF judgement perhaps.

Yeah, there are also loads of times when I feel ON FUCKING FIRE with how damn awesome I AM! Haha. I publish plenty of stuff where I KNOW I nailed it and I am riding the superflow wave so hard that NOTHING is gonna get me down, not even my own crazy doubts and fears! I crave those times, I love those times, I continue to CHASE that feeling every day, like a surfer who will NEVER stop looking for the perfect wave.

It’s a huge part of why I do what I do, and will never stop. Well, that, plus the fact that the message just keeps on comin’, like it or not, right?!

But here’s the deal –

ESPECIALLY if you just nodded or smiled and said ‘yep!’, when I asked ‘right?’

ARE you letting the message be the message, the art be the art, the content OUT when it taps on the door of your soul and tells you its here?

Or are you ruled by your own insecurities, doubts, and a desire to not feel like you’re BARING YOUR NAKED SELF TO THE WORLD ALL THE TIME?

‘Cause I gotta tell you …

You’re either an artist, and therefore by definition we BETTER be seeing and feeling you raw, naked, exposed, OFTEN – !

Or you’re, well –

I don’t know. Nobody any of us will ever know, or remember.

Nobody who will ever do their true purpose work, create a legacy, leave people BREATHLESS.

Let alone make millions of DOLLAZ, impact millions of people, like you know you were born to do.

I didn’t get to where I am now – a multi-million dollar from PURPOSE content creator, who has a business and life completely on her terms and allowing FULL freedom, by doing what felt COMFORTABLE.

Even though I am now very practised at baring my soul, messaging and creating and sharing on the daily, it is STILL not comfortable! God, I would hope not! If it feels comfortable it’s a sure sign I’m not really connecting in, not really allowing true creativity and magic to come out. If I’m getting COMFORTABLE you can be certain my income is probably dropping down, my soul is NOT happy, and I’m not going to bed at night feeling fulfilled, purposeful, like I did what I came here to do!

FUCK feeling comfortable!

FUCK it being ‘easy’ … yeah I talk about ease and flow all the time, but really I mean it is SIMPLE, and I also mean – it’s a hella lot easier to DO WHAT YOU’RE MEANT TO DO EACH DAY and feel filled UP than what it is to repeatedly shirk the responsibility of being YOU, and have to live with THAT shit each day!

No wonder you can’t even look yourself directly in the mirror, if that’s how you’re living!

I know I am doing it RIGHT when, near to daily, often more than once a day, I find myself feeling like ‘oh my God … ugh … did I really say that … eek … hide!’

I also know that these are CONDITIONED emotional responses, because we are taught it’s not safe to be who we really are, we won’t be accepted, we’ll be pushed out of the tribe, and not safe!

In a general sense, this is true.

In a PRESS FUCKING PLAY ON PURPOSE SENSE, this truth can get fucked RIGHT up the ass, ’cause there are PLENTY of badass crazy creators just like you who will also honour you for BEING you, and just by the by also will not SEE you if you are not being that next level you!

Aka: this might be why you struggle to find soul aligned clients, lovers, friends – you not being the raw bloody ALL of you baby!

So,

When you pull back.

When you hide.

When you FAIL to press play, publish, repeat.

Just know that if you’re thinking it’s justified because it felt too uncomfortable, too raw, too EXPOSING –

And you’ve told yourself you need to get to where you’re SO confident and certain, like me, or like others who you see show up for their heart each day without exception –

Just know you are full of shit.

With love.

And you KNOW this, so don’t try pretending you didn’t know all this on a soul level already!!

And?

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF CHOICE TO CHANGE, RIGHT NOW.

The ONLY way to be a soul-led artist, creator, YOU, and also allow yourself to build the multi-million dollar biz and PURPOSE FILLED LIFE, is to GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE.

Feel the feelings of ‘eek!’

And show the fuck up anyway.

And I wonder …

Where d’ya think you’d be,

A year from now,

6 months from now,

a MONTH from now,

If you just decided to be the you who acts from outcome, and for the damn art, rather than who lives for excuses, and bullshit?

I know where.

It’s where I live.

There is space for you, we’re waiting!

And I’ll tell you –

It’s PRETTY DAMN FUCKING WORTH ALL THE SQUIRMY DISCOMFORT YOU WILL HAVE TO KEEP FACING,

To show up for your art.

To show up for your LIFE.

To show up for you.

Really,

Were you actually ever convinced there could be another way?

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat

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