Success Mindset

Will You Die For Your Dreams?

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This is Part 1 in my Live Your Dreams in 2014 (#liveyourdreams2014) series. Read Part 2 (Stop Being Scared to Follow Your Dreams) over here and Part 3 (Get Aligned for an Awesome 2014) over here!

For every goal I’ve ever achieved in my life, I’ve first had to fail. Sometimes I may have failed just once but more likely I’ve failed again and again and again and again. Often, I’ve failed so many times that that goal that once filled me with excitement and passion and certainty suddenly becomes grey and dull, surrounded by fear and the (lie) idea that maybe I can’t have it, can’t achieve that, can’t be that girl.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to dust myself off, pick myself up and PUSH myself to back into battle in achieving my dreams. And it’s not easy to do, not when you feel bruised and broken by failure and you’re starting to believe it’s just not going to happen for you.

What I can tell you is this –

Every time I HAVE gotten back up, picked myself up, raised my fists and charged back into the fray something amazing has happened.

Most people never ever achieve their big dreams.

Whether it be changing their body, successfully creating their dream business, living a life most wouldn’t even dare imagine. This is an incredibly horrible fact (I think) given that it is POSSIBLE for all of us to do anything we set our minds to and apply ourselves with persistence to. A lot of people get this. A lot of people even think they’re going to do it. They say they’re determined, ready, willing to do what it takes and that they won’t quit.

Except they do.

And they continue to live a life which does NOT fulfill them, in which they feel frustrated, resentful and most of all angry at THEMSELVES because they know they could do better, be better, be more.

Better, of course, is whatever it means to YOU.

We’re about to enter into a new year. A time when it’s natural to think about your life and how it’s going, to review the year just finished and plan for the year to come.

Me, I’m planning big because I always do. I dream crazy dreams that terrify me, that seem impossible, that most people don’t even understand, and then I get out there and make them happen. Let me clear in saying that when I embark upon achieving a dream or goal I generally have no freaking clue how I’m going to do so, and I generally have no available money or time for that dream. It’s almost certainly going to require me having to justify it to somebody else but all that really matters is that I justify it to myself.

6 years ago I had a crazy dream of one day making 80k+ per year online and living the laptop lifestyle where I can work, live and play from anywhere in the world.

Right now, I am writing this by the pool in the resort style complex where we’re spending 6 months before jetting off for 2-3 years of round the world travel. The beach is a stone’s throw away. The yearly goal I set for myself is sometimes my monthly income. I work less than 4 hours a day most days. Sometimes people tell me I’m so lucky or they wish they could be as good as writing as I am.

What. The. Fuck. Ever.

I had a dream of this life and I chased it like a maniac. I failed again and again and again and AGAIN and I failed again and again and again but ALL that matters is that I continue to get back up one more time than I fail. I fucked up so many times. I spent every spare minute and created new ones. I spent, invested and in part wasted literally several hundred thousand dollars trying to figure out what I needed to know, trying to rise to the level of being who I needed to be to do this. I’ve been in massive debt, I’ve had EVERYONE around me wondering what the hell I’m doing, I’ve sacrificed ever other part of my life. I’ve died a thousand deaths in this business to come out shining and you know what else?

Even that doesn’t mean that just ’cause I am where I am it’s going to be smooth sailing from here on out. And I’m okay with that.

Are you okay with dying again and again and again for your dream if it means that one day when you DO pick yourself up you’ll look around and realise your one day dreams came true?

Are you okay with being the crazy person who nobody and perhaps not even you understands?

Are you okay with NOT making it again and again and again so that one day you DO make it?

It’s okay if you’re not okay with that. If so, get a job. And that’s cool; we need people with jobs.

But don’t tell me you can’t live your dream. It’s never about can or can’t and it’s damn well not about luck. It’s about you will or you won’t.

A similar story can be told of my body stuff. I’ve been up, down and all over the place with my weight over the years (even despite 13+ years working as a successful personal trainer), I battled binge eating/bulimia for a decade. I’ve said the worst stuff to myself that a person can say. And yet through it all I’ve fought and refused to be anything but my best self inside out. By which I’m not talking necessarily about body weight/size but rather having a relationship with food and my body that makes me feel proud of myself.

Look back at your 2013. Have you gotten back up one more time then you fell down?

Are you forging on despite EVERYTHING that has tried to tell you that you can’t, you won’t, it’s not possible, keeping YOUR mind firm in the knowledge that you CAN, you WILL, you damn well ARE?

Right now perhaps you have a goal that is NOT quite working. You’re in the thick of it and you’re wondering when the breakthrough is gonna happen. You don’t know how long you can keep on going for, you need some feedback, some REASSURANCE that it’s going to work out.

I can give you that.

I can tell you with absolute truth that so long as you REFUSE to stay down when you fall, so long as you continue to put one foot in front of the other even (in fact especially) when you have no clue what you’re doing, you have a 100% certainty of succeeding.

And I can tell you with equal conviction that if you DON’T keep going, if you allow yourself to be distracted, disheartened, swayed, to be ‘practical’ about it then you have a 100% chance of not living your dream in 2014 or EVER.

But here is what else.

You’re not going to chase after and actually reach a dream – any dream- unless you are crystal clear on not only what you want, but why you want it.

I don’t mean you have to know exactly what your dream business, body, life, relationship etc would look like. After all, it’s impossible to predict exactly where you’ll end up – all you CAN control is what you put in and know that each time your head hits the pillow you gave it your blood, your sweat, your tears, you GAVE YOUR LIFE that day for your dream.

And the answer is yes, or it’s no.

So when we talk about what you WANT we’re not talking ‘x’ amount per month, or this program or product successful created or this much weight lost or that much great sex each week.

We’re talking bigger picture.

For me, spending 6 years, 40+ hours a week on top of my job, hundreds of thousands of dollars and at times every ounce of my belief to the point where I didn’t think I COULD keep going was never about getting to a point where I make the money I now make, do the amount of work I now do, help the thousands of people I can now reach.

It was ALWAYS and ONLY about freedom. And choice.

And my body goals, the fact that even though right now post-baby I can’t be the most in-shape person I CAN be and AM the person putting the most work in when I’m in the gym, that’s never about losing the baby weight, or being sub 15% or whatever but it’s ONLY about pride.

I want to be proud of my relationship with food, exercise, my body.

I insist on freedom.

I insist on choice.

I insist on feeling proud of myself.

What do you insist on for yourself? Get clear on that and you’ll be the person who never ever EVER quits no matter what and you WILL be the woman who lives her dream in 2014.

If you look back at your 2013 and you know that you could have given it more, or you don’t understand why you sabotaged yourself or simply wussed out and didn’t do the work, it has nothing to do whether or not that dream is possible for you. It is only about this –

You didn’t want it badly enough and you didn’t know WHY you wanted it.

In early Jan, my Dream Life Academy Online Bootcamp is going live. 6 weeks to quit the BS, get over your sh*t and finally start living the life you damn well know you deserve. You can come in with 1 big goal or a dozen, I don’t care. But what I do care about is this –

Are you willing to be the woman YOU need to be to live your dream in 2014?

Are you willing to be the crazy one, the one who nobody (and not even you!) understands?

Are you willing to GIVE YOUR LIFE for your dream? I say this from the point of view that right now if you’re NOT giving your life for your dream you’re giving it for something else, for whatever you ARE doing each day.

So it better damn well be worth it.

The truth is that you are freaking brilliant, you are capable of anything, your are NOTHING less than a mastor creator and you KNOW that. So this year, as we begin to begin it all again, decide that you are going to create by choice. That you are going to get up one more time than you get knocked down. That you are going to get CLEAR on what you want to feel, be, do, and have and WHY and that you are not going to stop until you get there.

And I’ll see you there. Because me? I’m damn well gonna live my dream in 2014! I hope you’ll join me.

9 responses to “Will You Die For Your Dreams?”

  1. Taya says:

    This is really resonating with me… I have tried very hard to make 2013 all about me. I gave myself time to myself when needed, I focused on doing the best training I can do considering I’m not allowed to run, squat, lunge anymore and I haven’t had a massive binge since Sept (I would have to be honest and say I’ve had the odd “mini binge”. But I haven’t gotten to the point of I just can’t be bothered trying anymore or more to the point I’m sick of trying for a goal I can’t reach. I’m done. I’ve been eating well for 5 months and my body is not changing as much as I’d hoped for. And I’ve found it really frustrating! So I’ve started relaxing and thinking “if this is where my body is going to sit well there is not much I can do about it!” I’ve stopped following fitness models because looking at their pics just makes me more frustrated. I want 2014 to be about loving myself, being kind to myself and trying to become less vain and realize it’s not all about how I look. However, after reading this blog I find the fire being re-ignited again! Maybe I should get up. Maybe if I take care of my mind and become more relaxed my body will take care of itself. Will be interesting to see what happens. Keep the blogs coming Kat-you may be able to help the un-helpable just yet!

    • Kat says:

      I think for you it definitely needs to be about what you want and WHY and start with the mind. Make sure you read the rest of this series lovely x