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Purpose

TRIGGERED AND UNWORTHY AS FUCK? YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

For most of my life, really as far back as what I can think or remember, I’ve struggled with feeling unworthy and insecure.

This has been something I’ve allowed so much to get to me – well, allowed or else didn’t understand or have the capacity to know how to deal with – that I’ve actually let it lead to good friendships and relationships over the years being sabotaged, even destroyed.

How it manifests, to start with?

Maybe I’m in an event and I feel not good enough. I feel like everybody else is better than me for SURE, and their hair is shinier too. I feel like they probably feel sorry for me … or are maybe sort of laughing at me … or talking about me behind my back, like ‘why is SHE here?!’.

Or – maybe it’s somebody who I would or could potentially connect with, even be friends with, but I avoid them because I think they probably don’t like me. They think I’m silly … immature … a loser … or maybe the think that I think I’m all that.

This could be in business, OR life. For sure even at the gym there are tons of people I’ve never once smiled at because somewhere along the way I decided that they don’t LIKE me, they probably think this or that about me. I imagine them judging me on being TOO in shape or not in shape ENOUGH, for example, depending on the day.

Online I pretty much default assume that other leaders:

– Don’t like me
– Won’t like me-
– Think my message is silly
– Think I’m silly / flaky / immature / uncool
– Think I think I’m too cool
Etc!!

My head is just about exploding right now with all the things I could probably go on and on saying here, relevant to this.

Other things which come to mind –

– When my friends are ‘ahead’ of me in something I assume they wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore, and / or they’d look down on me or think me not cool or good enough. I do this even when I myself may well be ahead of THEM in some areas … I kind of forget or ignore the idea that there might be things my friends admire about ME, which they’ve not yet achieved or created … maybe they even think that I am looking down on THEM; I don’t know!

– When people who avidly followed me and spoke to me all the time online fade away and I stop hearing from them I am ALWAYS sure they HATE me now. I know logically this is not true as often times people message me after being MIA for a year or whatever and apologise and share the reason why, which was always THEY felt not good enough for ME, or else they just were in resistance or whatever. But yet I still think it!! There are several people who come to mind right away right now who I think this about!! I assume they started thinking badly of me, and that’s why they don’t connect anymore.

– When I meet people I look up to – such as meeting and spending the afternoon with PLUS even livestreaming with James Altucher while in New York a few weeks back – I am certain that they’re not going to like me or think good things about my message or art. I feel anxious and scared that they’ll judge me or my work, and often times I avoid meeting people or putting myself in amazing situations because it’s safer not to know.

I’ve felt similar things when meeting or spending time with EVERY ‘impressive’ or cool person you’ve seen me post with on FB.

Don’t worry – I GET how ridiculous this is!! I’m just saying … I still deal with this shit. As best as I can. And I try to shift it. As best as I can. Hence writing about it right now. As best as I can!!!

You think I’m talking about the old me, the lesser evolved me, a version of me I’ve fully graduated past? Ha!!! I guess I understand it more … I’m able to talk myself down from this way of thinking now … or at least see that I COULD be just a tad batshit crazy … and I ‘get’ that other people who I think are judging me are possibly worrying that I’m judging THEM (or – imagine! – they’re not even thinking about me at all, and just dealing with their own shit!) … but despite all of this I STILL THINK THESE THINGS.

In the past one month alone there have been NUMEROUS situations and meet-ups I could list out where I’ve met or otherwise spent time with people who I felt CERTAIN didn’t particularly care for me, or would judge me as not good enough in some way.

Even today I kind accidentally (?!) smiled at a woman who I see all of the time in the gym, she smiled back, our eyes met, it was nice, and I realised with shock I’ve TOTALLY had her pegged as not liking me … maybe SHE has me pegged as not liking her … but in that moment of smiling and connecting you remember:

Huh.
We’re all fucking human here.
We all have our shit.
We all deal or not deal with it as best as we can.
And if we SPOKE we’d probably get along great!

I know that people might be scared of what I think of them, so it goes both ways, because when people meet me, here is what I most commonly hear:

1) You’re much nicer than I thought you’d be, softer / more open.
2) You’re a real person; you’re just like me.

And here’s the thing:

We ALL are.

There are very few people out there who think they’re all that!!

EVERYBODY is still figuring their shit out. YES some people have done more growth work and so they DO think in a way which also includes seeing things as they are rather than being super reactive or insecure, but we all still have our areas of kryptonite.

Recently it occurred to me how hurtful I find it when somebody stops talking to me online, somebody who I know I helped, and I never really know why, then I realised I have done the exact same thing to people!!

And the reason – apart from that my soul told me to – I’m writing this today is simply this:

I know you struggle with this sort of shit too, in some way.

I want you to know you’re not alone.

And I also want you to know that the fears you have about what others think about you and about whether you’re good enough to fit in, show up, be here, at all –

Those fears are based on your OWN shit, not others. At the end of the day, if somebody really did look down on you for being you, COOL – ‘thank you for showing me we’re not a fit’. So, that’s easy.

But here’s what else:

You can literally sway yourself from your true path AND miss out on or even destroy amazing connections, if you let this stuff rule you.

You know this.
It fucking hurts.
And it’s sad!
AND it’s unnecessary.

So today, this is me telling you:

Get the fuck over yourself. You have a right to be here. You are good enough, you have done enough, you ARE enough, and your very PRESENCE adds value.

I love you.
I see you.
And I’m glad you’re here.

Now go be the damn artist | leader | crazy mofo you KNOW you’re meant to be, and don’t be afraid to own that shit.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

Rebel.
Upstart.
Fuck the system; screw the rules.
Won’t do what they told me.
Too much.
Unreasonable.
Ridiculous.
Unprofessional.
Crazy!

Should I go on? I could, but I think you get the picture.

You’re the one who is not only not like the other PEOPLE, you’re also not like the other entrepreneurs.

They, they actually think they’re different; non-conformists?! Don’t make me laugh. You and I both see it as it is:

They just wanna be told how to build a pretty little website and a pretty little social media page or three and a pretty little online product or course and get their pretty little headshots and do a pretty little pre-scripted dance all over the internet so that other equally pretty fucking bland and boring and same same-y peoples pay them money,

And they can all sit in a pretty little womans circle together patting each other linking elbows and stroking each others hair and singing Kumbaya as the sun sets over another day of sinking ever deeper into the unremarkableness that is their lives.

They are the ones who are not only willing to jump through hoops, they also want to build more hoops for other people; they want to perpetuate the hoop jumping life and their whole sales pitch is basically some version of “I will help you to have a better and shinier hoop, come see!”

lolol

BUT REALLY.

Meanwhile, you –

You’ve tried the hoop-jumping life, maybe more than what you care to admit. And, whilst you’ve nothing against sitting around with other ladeez and stroking each others hair, you and your girls; the real ones?

You don’t exactly fit in in the typical woman’s circle.

You don’t feel at home with the pretty-preneurs, not even on the internet let alone in real life.

You don’t actually GIVE a fuck about having all your shit perfect,

Polished,

And just so –

And the idea of having sales and marketing and content processes which you have to systematically pre-plan and then work through and endlessly join dots with?

Makes you want to hurl.

Sure –

You’ve bought in at times to do the idea that maybe you DO gotta do it as they say.

An automated webinar, perhaps?? Facebook ads which carefully and smartly tell the world who you are and how you can help? A sales plan proven and tested by the greats. The gradual sinking slow decline of your soul, your joy, your dreams, and even your pussy as everything within you that once knew she could HAVE IT ALL AND DO LIFE HER WAY SLOWLY DRIES,

WITHERS TO NOTHING,

AND DIES?

Sure –

Why not

And look.

It’s not that any of these things are bad or wrong. Maybe right now you’ve got to a certain point by playing by the rules … kind of. Following what ‘logic’ suggests you do. Breaking free here and there with wild little jaunts into over the top madness, noticing how THAT lights you up and also how people respond to it … but ultimately continuing to go back to trying to find the right fucking system to get you to where you want to go,

Because this thing of trying to just be you interspersed with trying to get it all right and make it work, well –

It’s God damn tiring –

But also, in the end, if we’re going to be black and white about it, it hasn’t got you to where you want to be!!

You KNOW you should be making SO much more money.

NOW.

With consistency, and yeah, while of course of COURSE you’re down for doing the work, you also feel like it SHOULD be a lot easier, more flow

And you know that you know that you know that you’ve still not let out the most unrestrained and fully expressed side of you!

– The you they can’t look away from
– The you they are MAGNETIZED by
– The you who automatically commands a huge freakin’ following, and sales to match it

You know who I’m talking about –

THE MILLIONAIRE REBEL YOU!

Starting January 18th!

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

The revolutionary fucking leader who tears SHREDS off of normal every damn day before the rest of the world has barely sipped its coffee!

Who is FULLY unleashed in what she says, how she shows up, how she does business, how she does life.

Who does not give a fuck about following rules! Or sales systems! Or strategies! Who can and will do what works for HER, and if it happens to resemble other ways people build an audience and make a fuckload of money online, cool, and if not, so what! That is not the point! The point is –

She knows what works for her.
She backs herself unapologetically.
She DOES it.

And she gets the damn results. The BIG results. The CONSISTENT results. The FUCK yes results, not just with money but with the VIBERY of it all.

Imagine …

Waking up every day and KNOWING you have crushed the day before it already begun because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ROLL!

* Your shit sells (at any and all price point)
* Your creativity and inner ideas machine flows endlessly (you always know what to put out into the world and that when you speak people PAUSE EVERYTHING AND LISTEN, whether it is with free content and shenaniganery or with your paid stuff)
* You don’t even have to think about low end or high end or how to take people through a value ladder or some such bullshit, the value ladder is YOU CONTINUING TO BE YOU, and the more that you DO you the more people just take themselves through whatever it is you’re offering!
* It is easy, natural, fun, and OBVIOUS how to build your automated income, funnels, the ‘cash machine’ side of your business.
* In fact the whole damn thing feels fun and easy and like you’re just being you (the full on you, the too much you, the rebel you, the fuck all of ’em THIS IS WHAT I STAND FOR AND NOW I’M GONNA TELL YOU you!),
* and at the same time you have the DEEPLY grounded and certain knowledge that the way you’re doing it, hot mess and chaos vibes and all, is WORKING. PS – the reason you feel certain of this is because your bank balance and soulmate audience and their feedback reflects it, not bc your spirit guides told you it’s coming

All of this is ALREADY available to you.

It is who you are and what you were born for.

You did not come here for normal!

You are one of the truly crazy ones, who has something inside of her that will leave the world BREATHLESS –
and allow her to make millions and impact millions –

BUT NOT IF SHE CONTINUES TO DO BUSINESS AND LIFE BY TRYING TO SOMEHOW BE A NON-CONFORMIST WHO CONTINUALLY CAVES AND CONFORMS.

For this to work,

REALLY work, like next next NEXT level $ and life flow work,
you’re going to need to FULLY turn your back on the idea that your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of you adjusting, filtering, compromising, playing the game the way the other entrepreneurs are playing it, or worrying about what the fuck your social media looks like!

What you’re going to need to do is simple:

FLICK THE DAMN REBEL MILLIONAIRE SWITCH BABY.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

All in on madness.
All in on crazy.
All in on chaos.
All in on the TRUE epic awesome ridiculousness and too much-ness of YOU.

REBEL MILLIONAIRE

Starting January 18th!

For those who were born to run the damn thing,

To turn the world on its head and dance on top of it,

And who are ready to do just that.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/