Discipline & Flow


It hasn’t really been that long since all of the dreams which I now accept as normal, and often don’t think about too much, felt incredibly out of reach and as though I may never get there at all.

The feeling of desperate frustration and angst was one I carried with me for so long, as I did my best every day to get on with it, keep taking steps forward, grit my teeth and square my shoulders and show up ANYWAY, that sometimes I think I can still feel it in me.

Telling me –

You’ll probably always be fighting to JUST keep your head above water.

Maybe you’re WRONG, and what you feel inside of you and ‘know is for you’ is never going to be your reality after all.

There’s obviously something you’re missing; everyone else is so much further along and you should be there by now!

It was like living under a cloud, a thick and dark and heavy cloud which you NEVER wanted anybody to know about. That would have made it more real, and besides – it was EMBARRASSING. Why didn’t I have my shit together sooner?! Why did I seem to CONTINUALLY end up flat broke no matter how much money I made, my debt all the while creeping higher. Why couldn’t I seem to adult properly?!

These were just a few of the things which ran, like a continual broken record, in the back of my mind.

And yes. I still feel them from time to time. Ghosts of the past, coming up to taunt me. And I have to consciously stop, and remind myself to acknowledge myself. And say – “No, Kat. That’s not your reality. And it NEVER ACTUALLY WAS. It was just a temporary cloud which you allowed – needed to perhaps, for the learning (the damn learning!) – to over stay its welcome”.

And I tell myself –

“Look at what you’ve done. You DID it girl! You bought your dream multi-million dollar home by the beach for you and your babies. You have 500k of cars in the garage. You have investment properties and other investments all over the place. You have savings. You have now bought your first commercial property, and are fitting out your dream office and studio. You never ever ever have to pause on a purchase to check how much it costs. You DID it.”

I know all of that is about money, and trust me – I know how much of what I ‘did’ is about so much more than money! I followed my heart to write and speak and create what I wanted and what I felt coming out of me, to let the message be the message and to defy nearly ALL the rules of online marketing, and as a result I am surrounded by an only soulmate audience and am paid to do what I love. My days are made up of ‘where is the flow taking me today?’. And the more I let go,

the more I CONTINUE to let flow.

So yes. I DID it. In so many ways. But I’m not ashamed to tell you that the money bit is the bit I still shake my head at in so much wonder. I suppose I never really questioned my right to lead … or that people would want to hear what I had to say or share … I always, somewhere within me even as the super shy introverted ‘school square’, knew that I had something powerful to come out of me. But I sure as all get out questioned whether or not I could actually ever feel free with money, or safe. I guess it was just my area that I had massive bondage around.

In the end, I became a multi-millionaire whilst STILL feeling like ‘maybe it’s not possible for me’. I couldn’t connect to the vibe of being rich. I did NOT feel it. And yet it happened! This is why I roll my eyes when people say ‘if you can’t imagine it, if it feels too good to be true, it won’t happen’. I’ve proven that wrong so many times in life!

But how?

Well, largely, this –

I just kept leaning in to the choice to turn up the money dial. I just incrementally kept choosing more. Tiny little bit by tiny little bit. I love the way James Altucher talks about this, relevant to overall life improvement. “What if you just improved by 0.01% in all areas each day?”

It’s so EASY, when you see it as the slightest little adjustment from within, in the direction of alignment, abundance, and flow. When you couple that with CHOOSING to expect that ‘of course you will get your outcome’, regardless of what your fear and surface based feelings might have to say about the matter, inevitably –

eventually –

that outcome shows up.

When I look back, I think – WOW. That was SO.FREAKING.HARD. The YEARS spent in money bondage. In only ‘just’ being okay. In fighting to present a confident exterior to the world. In desperate frustration around whether I was ever good enough. In desperate DESIRE to really write the way I wanted to write. Being told by so many people – “you can’t do that. That’s cute. That won’t work!”. And so on. It was RELENTLESS. And the flat out reality is that most people will not do what I did. I laid myself on so many lines I’m surprised I’m not tattooed with stripes.

But I also think –

Meh. It was freakin’ easy. All I did was just gradually turn up the dial.

One of the questions I am asked the most often is ‘but how DO you actually turn up the money dial? How?!’

Well. Think of it like this –

If you were captaining a huge ship, and heading for a particular spot on the coastline, and then realised you needed to go to a completely different destination, let’s say far left of where you were pointed, you wouldn’t turn that big lady all in one wrench.

You also would not keep thinking about getting over to the left, hoping or praying or wishing you could, or wondering whether or not you’re good enough all the while continuing to captain forward.

You would, quite simply, ADJUST COURSE. And bit by bit, slowly but certainly, incremental 0.01% adjustment at a time, that ship would turn. You would need to first DECIDE to turn it,

next ‘lock in’ the new destination,

and finally, you would need to continue to adjust, moment by moment, in order for that new destination to effortlessly be reached. ALIGNED to.

So it’s like … you simply gradually lean in. You incrementally expect a little more. Choose a little more. Surrender a little more. Trust a little more. Dig your heels in a little more, and remind yourself that you GET to be relentless about getting what you want and know is for you.

In a practical sense this may mean leaps of faith with money. It may mean kicking your own butt to show up and message and sell unapologetically, and more consistently. It may mean disciplining yourself to NOW see yourself as leading that way, creating that way, being paid that way. It may mean training yourself out of funky money beliefs and habits. And so on. IT WILL BE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FOR EACH PERSON.

Like I said – I never got great at ‘feeling rich’ before I was. But I sure as heck kept choosing it anyway. Writing it down. Destination locked in. And then making adjustments in my sales, my communication, my consistency, CHOOSING to expect more even though I didn’t feel it. Asking myself how I would act, purchase, let go, and so on, were it true. And then handing it all over as I got back each day to the job of being me, and forgot for those moments about all of it.

The writing.

The speaking.

The pouring out.

The flow.

In the end, it was very black and white and very very simple, as all these things are.

I simply learned to keep choosing better, and with greater certainty and RELENTLESS determination,

eliminated my so-called ‘feelings’ from the conversation,

and then followed the flow of what made me really feel like me.

Imagine –

there’s a money dial just in front of you. All you gotta do is turn it up. Bit by bit. Keep turning. And get back to the job of being you.

The outcome can’t help but show up when the destination is secured, and you are on path of being you.