WHEN THEY TELL YOU YOU’RE GONNA BURN OUT, YOU’RE DOING TOO MUCH, IT’S NOT SUSTAINABLE, AND THAT YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN
“You always change it just a little bit, don’t you?”
“Story of my life I guess”, I said with a smile and a shrug, turning back to my writing. “I’m never fully satisfied or done. I always want something new.”
I was talking with my hair stylist, and had just mentioned that maybe I want to add a little more blond into my look. She’s right … every time she does exactly what I ask, and everytime I’m satisfied … for a moment, and then I think of another way to make it EVEN better. There’s always another level to go to! I find this to be true with hair, and also with, well, every different aspect of business and life.
It’s funny that this came up just now though, actually, as only an hour or so earlier today I was congratulating my PT on the fact that, to put it in his words, thanks to my advice and his own natty ability to dominate, he has already hit over 20 paid sessions per week in his first few weeks at the gym, AND put his prices up. I’m informally mentoring him, and loving it because he is EXACTLY like me. Aka: born to be seriously freaking rich and make a SERIOUS impact on the world. A true natural AND willing to do the work!
And like ALL of us who have that God-given drive and desire to live an exceptional life, he’s the kind of person who will NEVER get to done.
He was excited of course about smashing his early goals, but at the same time, even though he JUST hit that particular tier – “I want more though. I’m not happy.”
“Of course you want more”, I said, mid-set of one-arm bent over rows with the T-bar. “It’s not in your personality type to be content”
“What, you mean I’m never going to be happy?”
I laughed … and told him what I’ve only said to myself and my clients just about a million times over.
“You get to redefine what happy means. You can be happy … content … but you’ll also always be DISCONTENT and you’ll always want more. It’s just who you are. You’ll NEVER stop setting new goals before you hit the old goals.”
And it made me think –
Of all the times when people told me:
“You’re doing too much Kat!”
“You need to slow down”
And – always with a solemn inclination of the head and an ominous wise tone of voice, the ultimate which I KNOW you’ve heard too … probably about a gazillion times, if you’re anything like me! –
“You’re GOING to burn out.”
Funny, that one. I’ve been hearing it for ABOUT TWENTY YEARS NOW, or just under.
Twenty years, in which I’ve done precisely whatever the fuck I wanted, namely PASSIONATELY and RUTHLESSLY followed my dreams. I haven’t met a dream yet which I won’t do what it takes for, and inevitably what that HAS meant is living life at a pace that most people couldn’t even comprehend of surviving for a DAY or two, let alone every single ONE of your days –
Day in and day out, week in and week out, month in and month out, year in and YEAR out.
Most of my twenties and into my early-mid thirties, including of course through the years of becoming a Mum, but also for a good decade+ before that, were a blur of just a few hours sleep a night … days that moved so fast one just melted into the next … getting more done in a morning than what most people do in a week, but then keeping ON like that.
As I said to Matt:
“For years I PT’d from 530am – 8 or 9pm, I’d have 15-minute breaks, grab a double espresso, a piece of chicken and broccoli, write half a blog post, train 6 more clients, do that multiple times through the day, then from 8 or 9-midnight I’d sit and work on my online business, drink wine, NEVER go to bed before 1am and then be up at 4.55am to get to the gym and start over”
This wasn’t something I did now and then. This was how I lived my LIFE, daily, for literally years. For over a decade. Then, as I started doing less PT and gradually moving out of being in the gym at all, I was a Mum with an online biz which I was giving a fuckload of time and focus to. My activities through the day might have changed, but my speed and intensity and overall effort didn’t.
Purpose-driven.
Result-driven.
Sleep? Sure, when I REALLY needed it, but mainly – I was too busy pressing play for that, and DEFINITELY I can tell you that not ONCE did I say no to taking something else on if it excited my soul or I just wanted the outcome.
Did I burn out?
I mean … I remember being tired all the time … but that was just how it was. It was annoying sometimes … but it was never remotely a consideration that that should mean doing LESS! My like-minded friends and I just learned ways to hack our sleep needs and become more superhuman, so we could keep doing MORE!
Really … most of what is taught about what you NEED, is bullshit. You’re a lot more superhuman than you think, and one of the VERY best ways to activate those powers is simply to live with purpose.
And that’s the thing –
I look back on all those years and I do wonder at how I did SO much … I definitely am not as busy these days … as Matt said “look where you are now!” …
Yes.
And all those people who told me I’d burn out and that I should slow down, sorry NOT sorry, but look where YOU are now.
STILL IN THE SAME FUCKING PLACE.
The truth is, I MISS being that busy and full on. I think I need to add MORE to my life right now. I think it’s a bullshit MYTH, for people like us, to aim for a slower pace.
It makes us apathetic, tired, low on motivation, anxious, mildly depressed and even fatter!
I know for SURE that if you’re like ME and you feel overwhelmed or tired all the time right now you need to do MORE, of what matters.
I look at all the ‘just you wait’ people from all the years, and I can’t help but laugh but also just feel SO DAMN GLAD I never listened. How long should I wait, guys? ‘Cause it’s been 20 years and not only have I NOT burned out or felt remotely low on life except for when I DO do less, but, well, I’ve kinda rocked creating my dreams.
And meanwhile, well, there you are.
Still earning | doing | living the way you were 10, 15, 20 years ago.
Tired and broke and brokEN.
If that’s what makes you happy, cool. I don’t mean everybody should want my life. But REALLY I think you all just bought into a BULLSHIT LIE about how life works, and now you have to numb yourself just to get through another day where you can barely keep your head above water and then get to end it watching hours of TV or news.
THANK GOD I DIDN’T TAKE ALL THAT SAGE ADVICE ABOUT DOING LESS!
Thing is, I DO remember being tired, like I said … I remember year after year of burning eyes and a spinning head a lot of the time as I seemed to just FLY from thing to thing, idea to idea, push to push. I remember an intensity of living so full on I was BREATHLESS from it. And I definitely remember too many moments to count when I DID feel like I couldn’t keep going … or where I would crawl under a table in the gym staff room and sleep for 10 minutes … or standing waiting for the lifts to get yet another hit of caffeine, looking on my phone at all my tasks I’d set myself for the day … wishing I could CATCH UP and rest.
But here is what else –
I remember that anytime I DID really want time off, I took it, went away, or went to the park or the beach, or hung with my friends. Because I’d already chosen a life of lifestyle freedom, even before I built THIS biz.
I remember days filled with laughter and ideas and crazy mad passion for LIFE.
I remember falling a million times and getting up always one more.
I remember being in fantastic shape no matter what and high on adrenalin and happiness.
I remember looking to the future and KNOWING it was just gonna keep getting better, ALWAYS.
And most of all?
I remember that no matter how full on and never-ending it WAS, I was fuelled by freaking purpose baby.
And so in the end … it NEVER mattered how tired I got or how mad it felt, if anybody even suggested slightly I should slow down OR ELSE, I remember just looking at them –
And thinking, well –
You’re not like me.
You’ll never get it.
You’re not willing to do what it takes.
And yeah, sure, I’ll slow down.
When I GET there, and since that’ll be NEVER, I guess we’re gonna have a bit of a wait.
So thanks –
But no thanks –
I think I’ll get my advice from people who are LIKE ME and get it.
I’ll run faster, do more, take ON more, get smarter about how to improve my health inside and out, and by the time I’m 40 I’m going to be a multi-millionaire doing EXACTLY what I want and with arms like Madonna too.
I’LL JUST GET BETTER WITH AGE.
In 2 weeks I turn 38.
I think I’m right on track
In fact, the only thing I think I ever did WRONG or that was out of alignment in all this was thinking that I’d finally sorta ‘got there’, and then slowing down! Time to speed this baby up again …
Quit listening to people whose lives don’t inspire you.
You’re not like them … never will be … you’ll NEVER be done, and you’ll ALWAYS want more, and here is what else:
You can damn well have it.