One of the things which I think separates us most, from the others (the norms, as we so often call them!), is our ability to take ownership of our reality, and with it, take control of our ability to shift it.

We may well piss and moan first, stamp our feet, and mope about with a ‘woe is me’ attitude, proclaiming that life is hard or that something happened TO us, but in the end? We man the fuck up and accept that it’s ON US.

How much money we make? On us.

What sort of shape we’re in, and whether or not we feel next level fabulous in our skin? On us.

How we are treated by the people in our lives? On us.

How well rested we are, and how we feel when we get up in the morning? On us.

What sort of clients we have, whether they are ONLY awesome and badass and fun to work with, or whether they do our heads in and drain or exhaust us? On us.

Heck, even how well our digestion is working or our the ole libido is ticking along is on us!

We literally have the power to choose the level we’re playing at in ALL AREAS, all of the time, and we know it!

Which I guess leads me quite naturally to what I want to say to you today, doesn’t it?

Why the fuck aren’t you just choosing to have it all already?

Why do you continue to sabotage?

Why do you continue to avoid?

Why do you NUMB yourself, destroying your ability to focus, to notice, to do what needs to be done, to BE, all or even at times any of you?!

Why do you continue to allow resistance to win, day after day after ever-loving day?

Why do you keep making promises, that this will be the day, the week, the month, the year, no really – !

And then it turns out it wasn’t, after all, not really, in fact NOT at all.

And that once again your head hits the pillow at night –

Sunday comes along –

Or the New Year rings in –

And you’re walking around smile smile smiling and attempting to act like you don’t give a fuck when what’s really going on is that you’re living with the INCREASINGLY terrifying knowledge that not only are you not being the person you’re meant to be, but that maybe –

You never will be.

It has to be just about THE worst feeling in the world, don’t you think? The feeling of breaking promise after promise to yourself, chipping away at your own self-belief until you barely even believe yourself when you say you’re going to get up in the morning!


But let’s not get all doom and gloom here, that’s NOT what I came here to do, because here is an equally real truth –

It can change in a heartbeat.

In an INSTANT, in a moment, in the blink of an eye, it can change, and you can decide to simply BE THE DAMN PERSON.

I know it feels so hard (to break the bad habits, the addictions, the sabotages)

And I know it feels so overwhelming, or daunting, or just too much (to suddenly start doing the work)

But in actual fact, it’s just the IDEA of these things that is heavy. The truth is – and you’ve experienced this before, so just think back! – the TRUTH is, that the very second you decide to be that person –

The whole thing shifts.

Heaviness – gone.

Cloud – lifted.

Fear – pah!

You may still feel nervous anticipation about how you’ll go, and whether you’ll end up flaking out again, or whether it’s gonna HURRRRTTTTT, but the HEAVINESS is not actually about not getting to have your escape, or about the difficulty of the work, the heaviness you live trapped under each day is purely about LIVING IN INDECISION.

Every day knowing who you should or COULD be, and most of the time even knowing the first step to take, or at least knowing that if you DID just commit you’d find that first step, but yet nonetheless FAILING TO COMMIT.

The real ISSUE here is not your lack of doing of the work and it’s not your repeated giving in to the things which ROB you of peace, of connectedness, or simply of bits of your LIFE that could be better spent, the real ISSUE here is you are SWIMMING in indecision.

Telling yourself –

“When I just get to that next point – “

“When I just lose a bit more weight – “

“When I just free up my schedule a little more – “

“When I just feel more ready, more confident, more certain – !”

Don’t you get it?

Certainty is a motherfucking CHOICE.

It’s not something you earn, you don’t tick off points on a checklist and get your certainty cape OR your superhero cape. You’ve HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME. But you do gotta choose to own it.

Probably, at least for the short term, this needs to be a daily choice. Until it becomes habit.

Every day, wake up, put certainty and faith and being a BADASS on, and then get on with your day FROM THAT PLACE.

Look, it’s true that there may be reasons for your sabotages. Why would there not be?

Maybe you’re scared of your own power, your truth, what it would mean, to really be seen. Nothin’ abnormal about that, our greatest fear really IS being all that we are!

And who knows what else, what old stories or limiting beliefs, are holding you back?! It’s ALL VALID. It’s all REAL. It’s all TRUE, to whatever degree, and it’s all understandable. But in the end it’s ALSO very much true that you can DECIDE ANYWAY.

You can decide to have it all ANYWAY, no matter WHAT the excuse or reason or pattern past; isn’t that EXCITING?!

You can literally decide, this very day, to be DONE with swimming in the endless lake of bullshit.

And what a decision it would be, or could be, or perhaps already just was; a second ago – !

When you make that decision, and you mean it, you may well feel daunted, you may feel nervous, you may worry about not really knowing HOW, but you’ll also feel light, lifted, free, and SURE that the ‘how’ can really go fuck itself, it doesn’t MATTER how, because YOU fucking decided, and SO IT IS.

Such is the power –

Of getting the fuck over oneself 

Let’s just cut the shit today, okay?

You can spend your whole lifetime, if you like, looking for ways to ‘do more work’ on yourself, “oh, I’ve so much WORK to do to be healed, and free, I’m so DAMAGED, I have so much PAIN!” – and if you want that to be your story then it WILL be.

Good luck with how THAT’S gonna play out!


You can get out of Lake Bullshit right now.

Say ENOUGH with this shit.

Absolutely know that you will continue to do the WORK, of shifting your shit.

But also ABSOLUTELY know that doing said work is absolutely not REQUIRED in order to have it all.

Having it all is a motherfucking choice, girl.

One you’re either making right now –

Or you’re not.

What, you’d rather argue that you don’t have choice and that there’s a reason outside of you as to why you’re not yet where you wanna be? Well, that’s your RIGHT to argue, if you do! But if you do, then know this –

You just made yourself one of THEM.

And look at how THAT shit turns out!

Enough is enough already.

EVERYTHING you want has been available the whole entire freaking time.

You can continue to beat up on yourself for not yet being there –

Or you can play your damn violin till the cows come home about all your woes, and STILL not be there –

Or you can decide that today is the day you look back on,

Where you changed it all.

Up to you.

But there ain’t no grey area here, don’t forget that.

You’re either being the person, all in, and you join us up here.

Or you remain down there –

Choosing to live a life of bullshit.


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