The whole entire point of following your hearts desires is, I believe, to connect back to the primal, to your actual true desires pre all of the conditioning you’ve allowed or chosen to be added to you.

So, when looking within and seeking answers, or clarity, the question is not so much ‘what do I want’? (as the mind will naturally include supposed desires based on what EVERYBODY in your world or maybe even THE world wants, or should be wanting to want), but instead, this –

What do you desire BENEATH or BEFORE fear –

Shame –

Worry –

And guilt?

What did you always desire, what are your instinctual needs and wants, what did you long for before you began, whether consciously or no, to deny your primal nature?

If you ask yourself such a question daily, and you truly seek to listen, you’ll find that without very much effort at all you are naturally starting to create your ACTUAL dream life and also naturally BECOMING the actual you, the you embodied version of the soul who you’ve always BEEN and can only BE, when in truth.

The problem is …

We tend to do an awfully good job at fucking up or otherwise avoiding living | being | creating our truth.

The beautiful thing is …

Whatever we’ve up until now avoided, or not seen, or pushed deep down within us and made to be ‘not okay’, is still available to us.

And perhaps, by looking within, seeking and allowing it, we can not only LIVE it, but also, in doing so, share with others that ALWAYS –

It’s safe to be heard.
It’s safe to be seen.
It’s safe to be YOU, in ALL your natural glory, and also to WANT WHAT YOU WANT.


A story –

Last week, I found myself laid back in a temple of sorts, naked after an hour or so first of soul-revealing conversation, of grounding massage, and of an undressing ritual in which I chose to shed OBLIGATION, and DUTY, two things which I’d been allowing to rule me, and which thank you –

But no thank you –

I’ll no longer be needing.

I was experiencing my first Yoni Repatterning session, with Shae Elise, and we were about to begin the internal work.

I’ve had internal work done before … ‘pussy massage’, shakti clearing and healing, various things …

But this was something different.
Gentler, perhaps also because I was bleeding, my body naturally already in rest mode.

A way of looking within –

Of listening –

And of stripping back the layers, the guardedness, the protection, which we all naturally build up around our true selves.

As the work was done, we talked. Perhaps for an hour or more, during the inner work.

Stories came up.
Some pain.
And also, a few surprises.

I found myself going back to a time when I began to first shut down my natural sexuality and rawness, finding that it wasn’t safe to be vulnerable, wasn’t safe to be sexy, wasn’t safe, is what we’re saying, to be me.

The FEMININE, and the sexuality and sensuality of it, has ALWAYS been part of me, but yet for most of my life I’ve made it not okay, and not allowed.

And I wonder …

How shutting off an entire area of your very BEING, might impact your ability to connect with your souls true desires, and with your instinctual needs … don’t you think?

A beautiful and terrible and fascinating example of the unconscious denial of our truth, of the conditioning we allow into our souls which tells us –

Not okay.
Not safe!

So interesting.

What I found particularly of note, was that I’ve always thought I shut down my sexuality and vulnerability because I felt it’s not safe to show it to MEN. But actually … no. What came up very clearly is that I’ve been scared to show my true feminine power to WOMEN.

Scared of being pushed out of the tribe …

Too powerful, if you fully OWN your power.
Confronting to others.
Or just plain ‘not okay’.

And I thought of all the ways this has impacted how I show up in business. Letting myself be hot but not TOO hot, or at least hot with a dose of super weird to offset it. Or, worse still, limiting my voice as a healer and teacher, because something within me worries that if I be ALL that I am then I’ll end up shunned … alone … or maybe even burned.

Have you ever felt that way?

Have you ever HIDDEN that way?



I thought so.

I know.

And I want to tell you –

It’s safe to be POWERFUL in your womanhood, and also in DOING so, you empower other women.


On being heard –

As I drove away from the session, which spanned 3-4 hours, the message I had coming through me was clear:

‘Your pussy wants to be heard’.

By PUSSY I mean your essence. Your core. Your femininity. YOU.

It’s funny, because since then, I keep coming back to this thing of being heard. Yesterday I found myself breaking down on an audio to my friend Linda, as I tried to tune in to why I STILL feel the need to try and get my former husband to understand me. I find myself sending him these missives explaining my feelings or my choices, my purpose or intent.

Feeling judged.
Feeling misunderstood.
Feeling, I realised – NOT HEARD.

And I cried to her as it hit me – “I am STILL trying to get this man to hear me … because I continually felt NOT heard, NOT seen, not CREDIBLE, and also that my feelings were wrong.”

There’s still that little girl part of me begging –

Please hear me.
Please BELIEVE me.

And he, he reflects perhaps a big part of that story, but of course it’s ALL only what I allowed, created, and chose.

We choose our relationships AND our realities in order to be given a chance to heal what needs healing, see what needs seeing, HEAR what needs hearing.

And I realised:

1 – I get to let go of trying to get HIM to hear me.

2 – If I feel I’m not being heard, or seen, or believed, where am I doing that to mySELF?

Perhaps you can relate.

The truth is always and only that WE CHOSE.

If we’re denying our instinctual nature, desires, and pushing down our POWER, it’s because WE CHOSE.

I don’t mean that people haven’t done things –

Said things –

Shamed you –

Or pushed you down and silenced you.

Oh, how I know.

But if we allow that we CHOSE this, we also allow that we can CHANGE this, and choose anew.

Today is a day when many naturally reflect on all that they want to ADD, improve upon, become, and GET.

What if, instead of writing a goal list a mile long and planning to become somebody you’re not or feel you should BE, you simply decided to be who you always were –

In all your femininity
In all your SENSUALITY
In all your truth
In all your glory

In all that you always were –

Before you decided that safety meant denying your truth.

I can tell you –

THEY will not approve of this, and they will seek to not allow it.

You WILL be too much for most.


And –

So the fuck what?

You were never made for normal anyway gorgeous, WERE you, and THEY who mock or scorn you don’t even INSPIRE you! There’s no denying that no matter HOW hard you try!

So –

Give up.
Stop trying.
Stop hiding.
Stop worrying.



WE WANT YOU, in ALL your power.

There is a world –

For the crazy ones
For the mad ones
For the ones who are not of the earth

There is a world –

Where we dance between realms
Where we create using magic
Where we ACCESS our spiritual gifts

There is a world –

Where women desire and ENCOURAGE the power and truth of other women
Where the rawness of all that a woman truly IS, is encouraged, desired, OKAY

There is a world –

Where you can be heard
Where you can show up
Where you can be free
Where you can be all that you’ve always known yet perhaps never fully accepted –
You could only be.

There is a world –
For you.

Know –

You are heard.
You are seen.
You have permission.
And you BETTER damn show up because actually?

The world needs you.