Success Mindset


I love a good list post, don’t you? A nice lil 1-2-3 punch of what to do, how to do, what to know, what to do with it, why you’re this or that or the other thing, and how to BECOME the thing, but now!

Actually I hate a list post, most of the time, ’cause that is some soul-less hooha which mostly has nothing to do with anything and is just written for points or engagement or to rehash some surface based something somethin’ which will just –

never mind 😉

My ranty side is showing and I got no time for that right now!


Today I’m gonna love writing this little list post for you, and YOU are going to love reading it and then you are going to bend promptly over and take whatever good and juicy medicine up the booty you need, based on my prescription. No need to worry about how to know what that prescription will be for YOU specifically. You’ll know! Your soul will ‘mmm-hmmm’ you with truth the moment you read it.

Let’s begin.

The 10 Most Common Reasons People Don’t Get Results, Despite Understanding Energy and Doing the Things (Plus What to Do About It!)

1) They are living in fear, gripped by being not good enough, desperate to be seen and noticed and APPROVED OF AS WORTHY.

They are so damn brittle, holding on so damn tight, barely inhale-exhaling in case everything falls apart (even though they’re usually experts at self-care, meditation, yoga, doing the things), and if you poked ’em just ever so gently they’d not implode / explode / fall into a heap of ashy-grey dust.

You KNOW if this is you. You’re that person who is so desperate, longs so much, to be accepted, to be at a certain point, to be like them, to be SEEN, to be validated, to be worthy, to feel like she is ALLOWED TO EXIST.

You tuck your fears of being unworthy, of not being a good girl, of never really receiving love or even LIFE, into a tiny little box where you never QUITE look even though of course you do the work and have probably had enough ‘healing’ to write 29,000 thesis’ on the damn subject.

Deep down, you JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING BREATHE AND BE. But you can’t, because first you have to make this much money, look exactly this way, have this list of evidence of your worthiness, and be congratulated daily on your incredible hair and skin. Plus, get an award for being bestest and most coolest girl.

Think I’m making fun of you? NOPE. This was me for years. This is many of my clients over time. This is many MANY many driven A-type women who are freakin’ AMAZING at being a superwoman but take however long they take to finally realise that everything they’ve been fighting so damn hard to prove? Was already there.

What you need to do:

Breakdown. Sorry not sorry (as I said to a client just last night), but I’m gonna need you to breakdown. Completely. Messy as FARK. And lean fully into the awfulness of whatever it is you don’t dare to ACTUALLY look at. Also: stop asking questions and stop trying to figure out exactly what to do so that once you do it you will be enough.


Practical action to take:

Nothing. You need to practice doing nothing, letting your list and your shoulds go undone, and being okay with it. Let the anxiety and fear mount til it washes away and loses its power. When I say nothing, I do not mean yoga, meditation, self-care, or any sort of structured goddessy nothing. I mean – nothing.

2) They just ain’t doing the nuts and bolts work of it.

They are queens of energy work, of aligning to a vibration, they talk a GREAT game around manifestation and receiving, and even have the balls (deluded gross ones) to sell shit where they say they’ll help others align to receiving more but they actually have NO FREAKING CLUE HOW TO DO IT and really what is going on? Is they just ain’t doing the work. Sure they may be doing SOME sort of work, they may be busy as all get out, but when it comes down to it, nope, they’re just not putting one foot in front of the other and consistently swinging the bat on the actions they’d be taking day in and day out, and the way they’d be taking ’em if they were already the person.

Not ‘a’ person, not any random person, but the way that THEY’D be doing it if they were already there, and if they’d built the damn habits into their beingness that meant that work was getting DONE. Let me tell you: your favourite floaty ‘I just chill and be me’ coach or guru definitely DOES THE WORK. They just integrated it into their identity, so they feel like they do nothing.

What you need to do:

Remove emotion. Do the fucking work. Quit kidding yourself you don’t know what it is. Let it become a part of you.

3) Their higher self don’t want that shit

They want what they say they want, like REALLY want it, they long for it and can’t wait! But at the same time, their higher or next level self, their deeper or truer self, if you will, has a DARN good reason why in actual fact they don’t want it no way no how! Namely: there is some kind of (often unnamed and only really known to the sub-conscious mind) reason why ‘having or being the thing’ would cost something you don’t wanna give. So, even if you work your butt off to get the thing, your truest self will stop you from getting the thing in order to protect you and give you what you really want.

What you need to do:

Write out every possible ‘fallout’ or consequence of having or being the thing, even if it seems silly or ridiculous or you know it’s made up. Go through the list, and one by one ask yourself ‘is this valid or true?’. If no, kick your butt into action (refer to #2). If yes, ask ‘what am I going to do about it then?’. I.e. – decide to accept said scary consequence because it’s more scary to not get the outcome you want. Or, shift or reframe or deal with it somehow. Also be sure to refer to #8.

4) They didn’t stay the mofo course

They didn’t stay the mofo course, and are some kind of super-deluded crazy person who thinks that because they did ‘everything it takes’ for X weeks they should now have a bikini body, a million dollar business, their dream relationship, with bells on all over the place. They legitimately think that because they’ve been ‘all in’, and it looks how the other peoples do it that they should have the big results. They don’t ACTUALLY believe this deep down, but they believe it enough that they just keep whining or bitching either in their own mind or to anyone who will listen that they don’t understand why they’re not there yet.

What you need to do:

Bitchslap your pussy self upside the chin, and get back to work. How long for? UNTIL IT TAKES! How long will that take? How TF do I know?! Just commit that you’ll do it til you die, whether or not it works. That should do the trick. Why are you doing it anyway, if you’re not willing to give your life for it? Refer to #6 and #11, too.

5) They love resistance and the adrenalin rush of being back against the wall hard

They THINK they want the outcome, and on some level they do, but really what they love is the tug of war with self, the will I / won’t I / OMG I’m gonna die, and then I DO!

They thrive on the agony of repeatedly not doing what they’re meant to, and letting the tension build, because it gives them an ego rush and also access to creative flow when they finally DO do the work, which they are addicted to and also think they can’t get any other way. They don’t know how to tap into creativity and flow and magic anytime they just choose, so the only way they can do it and ‘be their truest self’ is with this horrible back and forth first. They are also often adrenalin junkies who SAY they just want to get to where they continually have surplus, but in actual fact what they REALLY get off on is not knowing whether they’ll survive but THEN THEY DO, last minute, rabbit out of hat, again, and it! After which they promptly crash it all back down again, and go back into resistance and overwhelm and being disconnected or not tapped in and tearing their hair out til it all builds up again 😉

Repeat repeat repeat DEAD.

What you need to do:

Acknowledge that you are a weird AF person who requires extraordinary highs and lows and energy all over the place and that that is okay. You like the thrill of the chase, the push, the being IN it, and what you want more than ANY possible outcome is to feel alive, and to be accessing that deepest and most switched on part of you. So – just choose it. Choose you get to have and be all this without it being dependant upon your bank balance or weight or whatever else being a rollercoaster sitch. Unless you like that.

Also – get over the idea that your best work only comes from pain. That is a choice.

6) They are tit for tat-ing, and don’t know how to get to their outcomes NOW, even without having their outcomes

They are doing that thing of ‘I’ll do this because I want that, and if I do this then it should get me that’. Trying to exchange pieces of themselves or their lives for outcomes. Thinking that when they do enough, do it right, then they get to the cookie. The freedom. The whatever.

Until they realise that a) everything you’re trying to get is a feeling which you can choose right now from within, and that if you do NOT choose it then you will continually push it away from you and always feel there’s more you have to do because your TRUE SELF KNOWS YOU DON’T GET SHIT OR BE THE SHIT BY DOING SHIT and you gots some LESSONS to learn,

and b) that the reason to do the work is to do the work. Not because it gets you somewhere. Aka: you choose your outcomes, they show up ’cause you chose ’em, then you just do whatever action you’re guided to take. Not up to you to figure out the ‘how’ and do things AS a how. NOT EVER.

What you need to do:

What I just said.

7) They don’t actually believe in it. And they think that belief requires feeling.

Fully explained already.

What you need to do:

Understand that belief is just a choice, not a feeling. The feeling you want will click in at some point, don’t bother yourself with it. So, meanwhile, just choose to believe. NO MATTER HOW CRAZY ASS THAT SEEMS. Look, if you were shown it then it’s for you, The End! You ain’t gonna get shit no matter how hard you work towards it if you don’t believe in it. CHOOSE YOUR BELIEF.

8) They didn’t decide, and / or they didn’t decide the actual thing they want

Following this DIRECTLY – you must also decide. Peeps are out there all over the place doing this that and the other thing and bemoaning that they’re still NOT the thing, and meanwhile they didn’t freaking decide!! It’s next level ridiculousness. Appalling. Outrageous. Disgusting! Also – they think that if they choose some sort of dialled back version of what they actually want, if they decide that they are God and should choose what they’re allowed to have and what they’re worthy of rather than simply choosing what they are SHOWN, and following freakin’ soul and life orders, then they’ll be more likely to get it. When in actual fact it is soooooooooo much harder to receive when you don’t just choose to believe and decide and lock in the actual thing you were shown. The END goal baby! Whatever you CAN see and feel so far. And no you do not need more clarity, just go with what you DO see but!

What you need to do:

Decide the thing you were shown. Even if you’re just deciding the vibe of it. But actually DECIDE, and decide ALL of whatever it is you do see and feel. Don’t be that bitch sniffing up the filet and lobster mash and gritty raw red wine you dream of in your mind and then not actually just asking for it, all of it, and then still crying that you don’t have it even though you sat in your chair and folded your napkin like a good girl!

Makes no sense.

Start making sense.

And watch a helluva lot of dollars roll in. Plus whatever else 😉

9) They think that in order to be ABLE to be the person they first haz to cleareth their shit

I can’t be bothered writing much more, my brain is getting fried and my fish tacos are cold in front of me. So, let the title say the thing.

What you need to do:

Understand that doing the work is something you’ll do for life, same with clearing your shit. You don’t gotta do one to get the other. In fact, often times the work, or choosing the outcome/s you want anyway, is what will clear your shit and heal you. Meanwhile, go be the person while also being a person who is on their journey.

10) They are trying to be Katrina Ruth instead of themselves

That is some weird ass nonsense, but lots of you do it, whether with me or someone else. Look, it’s natural, I get it, and I’ve done it myself with tons of mentors and people I look up to. In the end though – prolly you should take the job of being you, on your terms. The other positions are all already filled.

What you need to do:

Own and accept that you get to have the exact outcomes you want, and you also get to have them in the exact way that you want. What is that?

11) They

This is linked closely to #1. When you hold on tight and try to control everything, because of WHATEVER reasons of worth and whatnot, you are by definition in contraction. What is the opposite of contraction? Expansion, and open hearted and handed receiving. Tight little contracted fists cannot receive-eth. Ya know?

What you need to do:

Stop living in terror that if you draw breath everything you DON’T EVEN HAVE WILL FALL APART. Go beyond. To the place where you’re SO in the relax-ed energy of being all of you. LET GO. Refer to #1, as I said. EMBODY TF OUTTA THAT SHIT. You can also practice ‘what would I be doing, knowing, believing, etc if I fully trusted that I am always taken care of?’. Then do it. This point is also linked to the one about not being willing to give your life for what it was given to you for, and to the idea that you’re doing things for outcomes. If you knew that the outcomes you want are all within you, then you’d understand that even though you REALLY REALLY WANT WHAT YOU WANT, you actually don’t need it and can in fact live your whole life without it because you ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED FROM GOD AND SOUL AND LIFE AND YOU.

For realz.

Also, from the place of understanding and surrendering to all this, you will open up to expansion and receiving around creativity and flow and being fully you, which will … what’s that now? Oh yeah. Probably lead to you being the person who gets the results that being the person you dream of one day being would have 😉

Another way to look at this: go to where you already are that person and be her now, whether or not you gots the results or whatever to back it up. IT’S AN INNER HOW YOU CHOOSE TO SEE YOURSELF AND TRUST THING. It all is.

12) They cave, fold like a cheap whatever, don’t have the wherewithall to hold

They think that they must not be born for it after all, worth it after all, or that they must not be on their aligned path, or WHATEVER, or that they just can’t keep going anymore, and for whatever reason they break tension and fold when in a messy or tough or jungle-like phase, rather than realising that SOME DAYS ARE JUNGLY AF AND SOME ARE NOT AND EITHER WAY IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU AND KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT.

How long? Duh, ’til you die.

What you need to do:

Understand that alignment inherently includes messy bits, and you’d be nothing you wanna be anyways without that. Stop taking the ups and downs personal. Stay the course. When you can’t take it anymore DIG DEEPER INTO YOU AND TAKE IT GIRL. Get it into your head that everything you wanna feel is already there for you on the other side of surrendering to always being the person BECAUSE YOU ARE MEANT TO BE THE PERSON. And that you can be her now.

13) They think trust and basically everything else I listed above follows results

It does not. You have to choose it in advance. You have to choose it now.

k, I’m done, that was extra fucking long.

I know I said 10. It was 13. Giddy up!

Which one/s are you? I’ve been all of them. Continue to, too. Lucky this whole thing is just a dance with God and life and you that never needs to actually be figured out.

So .. go be in the dance. Do what you know you gotta do today. And get back to twirling on your way, because it will be a whole new dance tomorrow.