When my business first really blew up online, when it went from being this continual kind of push push push to somehow gain traction up a hill to all of a sudden being an influx, a rush, a WOAH, and ‘everybody knew my name’, it was because I had appointed myself as being the leader.

I’ve written about this so many times, designed an entire training on it, and taught my clients and community for years on the CRITICAL import (and power!) of just deciding to be the leader.

For me this pivotal moment occurred when I had the ‘aha’ one day that, whilst it was true that I admired and respected my famous mentors at the time, and was grateful to be in their space, it was also true that I believed my message was JUST as powerful as theirs and that I was JUST as qualified to be ‘the’ person everybody looked to and wanted to learn from.

The way that everyone would pause to drink in their every statement, the way their programs were ‘the’ must join programs, the way mentoring with them privately was ‘the’ ultimate badge of honour (and so of course I did haha, for this and other reasons), all of it –

was just something I could choose.

I was already equipped.


Knew enough.

Had done enough.

WAS enough.


And in a flash, I suddenly saw everything this simply.

Yeah, I was still unsure of myself in so many ways. Nervous. Shy. Introverted AF. Always seemed to dress wrong, move wrong, felt constantly self-conscious. Had so many hang ups about my own worthiness I could have written an entire series of books about it!

But somewhere deeper than that –

I was the mofo person, and it was time for me to act like I knew it and to run the damn thing.

So, I did. It sounds overly simplistic, but it’s really what happened. I had it going for me that I’d already been

‘the’ leader in other parts of my life, in other businesses, other niches outside of the online business / success coach space. I was able to draw on my familiar feeling around being the leader in worlds where I did feel comfortable, had long ‘claimed my place’. But it still required me to just flick an internal switch in this new space.

I had to decide.

I had to choose.

I had to appoint myself.

And I realised, that if I wanted to stop waiting to one day ‘be there’, it had to be now.

How I did it? An energetic switch flick. Really. I just decided. I decided – “from now on I will act as though I run this thing, and I am one of the top 5 female entrepreneur coaches in the space”.

I don’t even know what I really changed …

maybe some of my wording

the clients I spoke to ‘as though they were already there, and mine’

my posture (energetically)

really it was just a good ole fashioned case of act from where you want to be because some part of you is already there, and knows how.

When clients come to me tearing their hair out around how to embody creating that next level scary offer … embarking on that next level scary venture … being that next level scary person … things they have no idea how to do, or even where to start with, at least SOME of my advice is always around this:

Go into the place, the part of you, where you do already know.

What would SHE do? Know? Put together? Act on? Say.

Within a matter of weeks of me deciding to be ‘that’ leader, and to be ‘the’ person everyone looked to, it happened. It was SHOCKING. But also – ‘of course’. Since then, I’ve been able to understand why it did happen so fast, like magic, ‘out of nowhere’. Because it was ALREADY THERE FOR ME. I just had it waiting in the wings, refusing to let that aspect of my business or life or soul journey come out to play.

>>> Thinking points: what do you have waiting in the wings right now? Who would you NOW choose to be if you understood that everything you dream of is already there for you, available, now, and you just have to choose? Who or what is it time to just APPOINT yourself to?


I never looked back since then. I became the leader I was always supposed to be, and I moved forward from that place the moment I decided to. Of course it was up and down and all over the place. But since I’d appointed myself at the top, and I meant it – mainly up.


Over the last few years the most curious – and possibly annoying, depending on where you’re at as you read this – ‘problem’ I have, is that it’s so easy for me to make the money I do and do what I do as the leader I chose to be within the online space. I could do it in my sleep. It’s not scary. It doesn’t require me to dig deep creatively, even though I always let out what is ‘in’ me. But even doing THAT is long ingrained now as part of my identity. And whilst of course this business still has its ups and downs financially, and sometimes things don’t first succeed the way we wanted, and there is ALWAYS room for improvement – even our absolute worst is a level of income and flow and impact beyond what most in this space will ever allow themselves to just choose.

This is great. I’ve no plans to change it.

But it can also result in me at times feeling like I’ve lost the flow and connectedness to my own fire which used to for years be right at the surface. It had to be, as I fought and dug deep and chose so determinedly to plant my leader flag.

I’ll never again in THIS business have the feeling of ‘back against the wall I don’t know if I CAN, I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die and then I FLY’.


I miss that.

It feels harder and scarier for me to figure how to use my new crockpot (not new lol, in the cupboard new for 6 months ’cause it feels too hard) than what it does to snap my fingers and command more money flow and impact in the coaching space.

Yeah yeah, feel free to throw rotten eggs at me if you see me.

Here is my point:

I lost sight of the fact that I’ve taught people for years to just CHOOSE. CHOOSE to be the leader. CHOOSE to appoint yourself. CHOOSE you now get to say that, create that, coach people like that.

And I bought into the idea that I need to go find some new big challenge to activate those deepest fiery parts of me.

But I’ve tried starting multiple other businesses … jumping in to HUGE investments … putting myself in rooms I’ve no apparent right to be in … doing random crazy shit to test myself or develop a new skill …

and none of it quite lights that fire. Because once you’ve overcome in ANY area the ‘omg I don’t know if I can and then I DID’ part of you, the reality is that no matter how big the mountain to climb you NOW ALREADY KNOW YOU’VE GOT THIS.

It may still be hard, scary, whatever. But you know. And you can’t unknow. That it really just comes down to choosing.

Where’s the fun in that?!


But why did I start thinking that the way to FEEL what I wanna feel is to go find the thing that will give me that feeling?

That would be the same as if I told people to ‘go find the thing that will make you a leader’!

Next level certified and laminated bullshit.

It’s a choice.

Flow is a choice.

Fire, and back against the wall (if you want that) is a choice.


Feeling motivated, committed, IN the damn thing – a choice.

So if you’ve been walking around trying to figure out what you’re missing, trying to put your finger on something that will ‘give’ you something, whatever that thing may be that you miss or want or need –

Today’s message is simple, and the same it’s always been. Just me telling you, again, the things I need to hear.

And that is this:

And what if you just mofo decided?