Do you know what really gets my goat, has me rolling my eyes so far back in my head you’d fear I might lose ’em, but has also at times had me bound in fear, running scared, and acting like a pretty low-vibe pussy version of myself?
Ugh, it’s disgusting to even think about! But also, SO important, and such a powerful lesson, if you just step back and observe.
Observe?
Well, you don’t need to observe me, although clearly I don’t mind if you do, but really it’s on each of us to stop, pause, retreat perhaps, for just a moment, get out of the emotion of the damn thing, and ask ourselves WHY we are choosing to show up from such scarcity, and what it is we actually believe at our core.
I’m talking about the idea that there is a way to HOOK people, to capture them, to get them to ‘respond’ to you, say yes to you, do your bidding, really, and also (ugh ugh ugh) meet your needs, fill you up, give you what you want and LONG for.
Is there?
Uhhhh … sure. #eyerolleyerolleyeroll
Of COURSE you can say the things
that gets the people
to jumpeth through the hoopeths
and fill you up up up up UP, with money or ‘love’ or ‘power’, etc
But, just a thought –
What are you being filled with REALLY,
and who exactly are these people we’re talking about, who will respond to such wily ways? I KNOW you know we’re not talking about your soul peeps!
So what’s a girl to do then, if she longs for and craves and wants and needs and DESIRES to be filled up, to receive, to be abundant in all good things, to have her deepest yearnings met, and to finally be rich, loved, free?!
^^^ ain’t nothin’ wrong with wanting this stuff, by the way. Indeed you GET to have it! You GET to have it all, there’s no other way … I certainly don’t know of another way for me, and so I’d be the last to suggest that there should be for you!
And believe me, I get it, oh TRUST me, I get it, what it can feel like, when you’re feeling down –
and out –
and more than a little bit lost –
and SO far away
and so you start to tell yourself that maybe ‘they’ are right, and you need to learn these things, and do it properly. Play the game! After all, you want the result, don’t you? Don’t you?! And clearly your way of being you is all fucked up and not working, so BEST YOU LEARN HOW TO DO IT RIGHT SISTER!
So you listen to the marketing coaches –
And the sales coaches –
And the relationship coaches –
And the build you an audience coaches –
And the ‘get seen and paid’ coaches –
And the how to be a fucking HUMAN coaches –
And you hang your head just a little (but force it back up and smile ALL pretty-like, because you get it, no really, you get that you need to learn this stuff, and you’re happy to, no REALLY …!),
as they tell you:
Here is what to say to make ’em listen
Here is what to say to get ’em to buy
Here is what to say so that he finds you IRRESISTIBLE, no no no DON’T DO IT LIKE THAT YOU’LL SCARE HIM AWAY!
Now look
Now listen
Now watch
Now walk like this
Now talk like that
Now breathe just so
Now DANCE little puppet, DANCE
And so you dance and you twirl and you WHIRL on your strings, and you smile smile smile, oh SUCH a pretty smile and surely they won’t notice that it’s painted on,
or see the grimace that lies beneath it,
and the deep fucking sadness and desperation in your eyes, because surely, SURELY –
this is not how it needs to be –
this is not WHO you need to be –
this is not what it needs to TAKE –
to catch a client
or a man
or a glimpse of your own motherfucking soul, no, no chance of that!
and who the fuck wants to CATCH something or someone anyway, when the people that are your people ARE JUST YOUR PEOPLE, and not only do they not need to be caught but indeed your ‘lemme hook you’ tactics will push them AWAY.
And you know this.
In your soul you KNOW this.
Which is why everything that THEY teach you feels so off!
Which brings us to this –
BEING IRRESISTIBLE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU ACHIEVE FROM A FUCKING FORMULA, AND FOLLOWING THE RULES.
Unless it’s that you don’t believe that you at your core are enough –
Magnetic –
A true leader –
Badass woman –
Or worthy of being seen, loved, paid, and so on.
And if you don’t then I’d probably be working on all of THAT, rather than the stupid fucking strategy they’re trying to make you dance to in order to get a few measly peanuts thrown at you.
Being irresistible is not something you achieve from formula, or from following the rules.
That’s what it is.
And that’s all it is.
It’s you returning to the true and truly magnetic and compelling ‘just watch ’em never be able to look away’ essence of YOU.
Best you get to showing it.
And run like the wind from anybody or anyone who tells you to do or think or believe shit that saddens it.
You want a fucking formula?
That’s your fucking formula.
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