FOR THE WOMEN WHO ARE CALLED
it’s time to back into you.
It will never work, you know, if it’s not aligned, you know, with what your soul needs.
And you DO know, deep down, what it is you crave and desire to be free, but the problem is, the problem is, the PROBLEM is, you’re so busy running –
Pushing –
Striving –
TRYING –
To make shit happen! To do it all! To ACHIEVE! And God knows you ARE freakin’ good at all of that and it’s not that there’s anything WRONG with it, you’re not the type to chase empty dreams, to try and be successful or cool for the sake of it but yet –
But yet –
There’s something inside of you which just whispers MORE.
And it’s a whisper which is small, and quiet, or WAS, once upon a time, but which you’re starting to no longer be able to deny because it is becoming FERVENT, it’s gripping you, it’s insisting you listen, and sometimes you’re not at all sure whether it’s a whisper but a SCREAM –
Of longing.
Of wishing.
Of wondering.
And of DEMANDING when the FUCK it is, precisely, that you’re going to be done with the jumping up and down and ALL the way around and ready to just BE what it is –
You were always meant for.
You’ll know it’s right when it’s quiet.
And the world fades around you.
And all is still.
And the noise MELTS.
And you feel yourself gently, but firmly falling back into YOU.
And your soul speaks up and all of a sudden you can hear it, and this heaviness, this feeling of being drugged of being wilted of not being able to really move or breathe of RELEASING is EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE which is to say it IS a release and you HAVE been drugged and of COURSE you can’t really move or breathe yet as you finally –
Finally –
Let go.
Of the need to chase dreams FOR something.
For anything.
For proving?
What?
That you can do the fucking work?
That was never in question.
But what you’ve been scared of and you’ve resisted and you’ve FOUGHT like a wild one being pinned and caught is the idea that if you let go of all the STUFF –
And admit who you are and what you truly want?
That it might not be allowed.
That life couldn’t be like that.
That perhaps it’s not possible!
Not for you.
And maybe not at all.
It’s a heavy feeling, isn’t it, the feeling of realising you need to release your entire freaking LIFE?
But release it you must.
When it’s not right.
Walk away walk away walk away.
Let it FADE away.
Let it seep OUT of you and when you feel yourself SPENT and DRAINED and as though you can’t move know that it’s WORKING, the poison is dripping out of your blood your bones your soul your core and what is left while it might well be weak and fragile and oh so vulnerable is fucking –
PERFECT.
Is BEAUTIFUL.
Is you.
The real you doesn’t need to prove anything.
To anyone.
Least of all herself.
The real you doesn’t care about achievement.
Just because.
Or even at all.
The real you simply knows.
What is real.
What is right.
What is CALLED and DIVINED.
And what must BE.
And the real you is READY my darling, oh so ready, and WAITING for you to stop holding her at arms length.
If you keep pushing her away –
She might just eventually leave.
And sooner or later it’s GOING to be time, to admit.
You were never gonna let her leave, not a fucking chance, you God damn KNOW what you’re ultimately going to do anwyay so for the love of coffee and wine and Chanel GET THE FUCK UP AND DO IT.
Now is the time.
Now is the time.
It’s NOW.
No more waiting.
For a life.
You’re GOING to end up claiming.
The bandaid WILL be ripped at some point, and perhaps it doesn’t matter, another 6 months, another year, another decade, what’s a few thousand extra days of a LIFE OFF PURPOSE between friends?
Maybe nothing, maybe nothing at all, and perhaps in the end you’re doing exactly what you always were meant to and MUST.
But then there is this –
And you know this.
If you walked away.
Now.
From all of it.
And ran like a banshee chased by the hounds of hell.
Now.
Towards ALL of it.
Do you think you’d find it waiting?
ALL of it –
Where it’s always been?
Your soul is screaming, darling.
Give her a fucking SECOND, to be heard, won’t you?
\
