I recoded myself out a decade+ bulimia pattern with what I’m about to tell you.
First, I need to explain a tool you can use which is the MOST helpful when it comes to stopping the BEYOND next level crazy talk which sometimes goes on in your head.
Things like your mind SHRIEKING at me that you have to be perfect ‘or else’ …
That you shouldn’t even CONSIDER seeing myself as able to have or do or be certain things …
The thing with fear stuff is it often comes from long-held beliefs coded in during a time in life where everything seemed absolute. Something, or someone, caused us to feel not good enough, not loved, not acceptable, or in some way (and this has always been my thing) we believed we HAD to be perfect, proper, just right, ‘or else’, and we simply took that idea –
locked it in as belief (lock it in Eddie!) –
and then RAN with it.
I reckon I’ve been running for 35-40 years PLUS with the belief that I have to be perfect or else. What this results in, when I LET it run the show inside my mind, is that I systematically identify every possible way in which I am a + short of an A+, or 2% shy of a 100% score (so to speak), and then I make that mean I’m not worthy.
If I was worthy, I’d be perfect. If I was perfect, then I’d be worthy. You see the loop. Maybe you have one of your own?!
Here’s the tool which has helped me to break free. Which I continue to USE to break free.
I’ve learned to start labelling things as a way of identifying a) what they really are and b) what is not ME.
I first started doing this some time back when I knew I needed to drastically shift a really NOT right situation in my personal life. “What’s happening here is ‘X'”, I said to myself. “X is not acceptable. Because of X I will now take this action”.
This made it so easy. Difficult as fuck, still! But easy. It was about logic, not about my feelings.
Now, when my ‘not perfect not worthy not worthy if not perfect’ stuff comes up, I am learning to remind myself: “This is my old unworthy stuff coming up. This is not me”.
“This is a PATTERN. This is not me.”
It’s not enough to just identify a pattern though. The real question is – what do you want to put in place instead? What is NOW the vibe? For example – in order to become the version of you who you want to be a year from now, what would you need to choose to believe or remind yourself of TODAY?
This is (loosely) how to begin coding in new beliefs. Or, you can work with me and I’ll instantaneously shift it for you ;). But there’ll still be work to do!! Obviously. Either way, this IS the real work, don’t you think? Being willing to take that deep deep breath. Step OUT of the bullshit or quagmire of todays crazy. And choose FROM a place of where we know we now get to be.
In my twenties I literally recoded myself out of a decade+ long bulimia habit by doing this. By just choosing repeatedly what I knew deep in my core I could ONE day feel about my body, and my self. By first LABELLING the bulimia habit for what it was. It wasn’t ME. It was a habit. EXHALE. I could now start to separate myself from this thing I’d previously allowed to rule me. And felt I had to.
Bit by bit, I stepped into a new identity where I trusted myself in AND with my body, accepted myself in and with it, and eventually – actually truly fucking loved myself in and with it. At first, this seemed impossible. I couldn’t imagine a reality where I would not HATE my physical self for not being perfect, and force it into submission to try and make it so. I kept labelling anyway. I kept choosing anyway. I broke free ANYWAY.
Body stuff, money stuff, business stuff, love stuff, it all works the same way –
Identify and label the pattern. Realise it is not YOU. Take a deep fucking breath and operate from who you’re ready to now be.
But you absolutely must choose it.
You'll turn the next corner when you become fully you. The overflow which follows this…
And now we do the fucking work. Yesterday was poems and dreaming, a day for…