I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS RIGHT… YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT

I just always thought I was right, you know?

Since I was a little girl, I just ALWAYS thought I was right.

Thought?

Sorry, you’re right –

Fucking KNEW.

You too??? Yeah … I thought so! Knew, even 

And here’s the thing –

I actually NEVER questioned this shit.

From as far back as I can remember, I was level as fuck CERTAIN, about what was what, what was not, who was really who, and what was in general UP, with the state of the earth and every person on it.

I’d look at most adults … my teachers … other people … and whilst I ALWAYS wanted to learn and grow and evolve, and I’d latch on to ANYBODY who inspired me or who I could see and feel was living life all out, and was actually fucking lit UP with BEING alive, the truth is that the majority of the time?

I just felt like, well –

I know more than you.
About everything.
Even though it’s entirely possible that I know nothing about anything.
But yet still I know EVERYTHING.

And THAT is all that can be said about that!

It’s funny, my four year son Nathan, my miracle baby, who I thought I might never meet after spending the second half of the pregnancy in hospital and being told I might not make it … and who I KNOW was born called, with the hand of God SO strongly upon him, and who is FURIOUSLY lit up with spirit and life, he will turn to me, and purse his little lips, stick his round belly out, hold his head up, and simply OWN –

“I know everything”

“What’s two x two thousand and twenty then?”, says his older sister, my wild hearted first-born who, if you think that I have any kind of independant badass energy to me, you need to understand is me 100x … she has her hands on her hips all sassy-like, and KNOWS she will catch him out –

“I don’t know”, he says

“Well then you don’t know everything, do you!”

And he just looks at her, with calm assurance, and some sort of look of love mixed with slight sorrow for her inability to understand, and he holds his head up, and says, quite certainly –

“I know everything”

Before walking off to throw a truck at the TV or something  

What you have to understand, what we have to go back to, what WE have to GET back to, is simple –

You were born knowing everything, the mysteries of the cosmos available to you at will, source energy and GOD right there at your fingertips, and the blueprint for your entire LIFE already installed deep deep within to your every CELL.

You were born with complete fucking certainty, with the ability to simply tune in and KNOW, with the understanding that whatever you desire, whatever you require, whatever is given to you as a vision, a download, a dream, is YOURS AND FOR THE TAKING, and that ALL you have to do –

Trust
Trust
Trust
Have faith
And fucking TRUST

And I just wonder …

I wonder …!

What do you think might HAPPEN, if you decided, chose, went BACK to, living this way?

If when you woke up –
And when your head hit the pillow at night –
And in EVERY part in between –
Your overriding trust was simply that I.KNOW.EVERYTHING.

I know you think it’s egotistical, to think this way.
I know you find that voice inside of your head wondering who the hell you think you ARE.
I know you find it so damn SCARY, and you’re terrified of what would HAPPEN, if you just let go, but darling don’t you SEE – ?

Don’t you see –
That when you’re wound so tight –
And you’re holding on with so much fear –
And your fists are clenched, your body coiled and paused, your eyes wide open with a slight panic, and your expression constantly one of a cartoon character who just realised a bomb is about to detonate right in his face –
Your EVERY cell CONTRACTED, and BOUND, is what I’m saying –

That by definition
You are
not
in
expansion

In contraction?
= not in expansion

Not in expansion?
= can’t receive

Hands tightly bunched and body coiled and heart all over the place and breath short is FUCKING CONTRACTION AND YOU CAN’T RECEIVE

Don’t you SEE this?

How the hell do you expect to be open to receiving and ALLOWING, when your body soul spirit ALL of you is quite LITERALLY positioned in such a way that you are the OPPOSITE of open and in allowance …!

And you think –

But but BUT Kat! You don’t understand Kat! You don’t get my situATION Kat! YOU DON’T KNOW ME KAT AND JUST BACKITY-THE-FUCK OFF WITH YOUR SOUL DESIRES AND JUST SURRENDER YIPPITY DAYDREAMY SHIT!

In which case …

Cool.

I get it.

I WAS it.

It didn’t work for me, so well, in the end, I found …

When I let go and chose to trust and chose to ONLY follow soul I just started receiving everything I wanted, in all ways, beyond what my wildest dreams could have been, and so EASILY, I found …

When I let go even more, and went into FULL faith and soul-based living, literally every moment determined, moment BY moment, based on what my soul is directing me to do, whether comfortable or not, I received at even GREATER levels, I found …

Magic and superflow and just THINKING it and then seeing it done became my normal, I found …

I NEVER had to do anything that didn’t align FULLY inside of me, I found …

And even my CRAZIEST wishes and dreams and soul cravings, when I simply chose to STAY THE COURSE with them, came true –

Like magic –

And I never had to do anything –

Except simply remain in trust and soul guidance –

This is what I found
This is what I continue to find

And I guess I just really don’t see – 
Why you’d NOT want to find that – 
But yet at the same time I know – 
How scared you are
How terrifying it feels
How badly you want and feel you NEED that safety net
How deep your uncertainty and anxiety lies
How fearful you are of the awful things which would eventuate, if you let go and trusted and THEN IT DIDN’T WORK

I know how it feels
And I understand if you just can’t bring yourself to let go yet

But, let me ask you a question …

Don’t you just think …
Don’t you just know …
That when we think of AWFUL THINGS EVENTUATING …

The very worst thing of all would be to get to the end of your life –
Have pause to consider what you chose –
And what you did not –
And realise –
You lived your entire life
Saying yes to fear
And no to your soul

And don’t you just think …
When you tune in to your core …
That ACTUALLY –
You fucking know.
You know what I’m saying is true and real.
You KNOW it’s true for YOU.
You FEEL this deep inside of you, no matter how still and small and fragile the voice is, because you have for YEARS fucking silenced it, you FEEL –
That yes
This is how it is
This is the only way it can be
It’s how it’s ALWAYS been
And I have ALWAYS fucking known –

I’m right
I’m right
I’m right

What I feel inside of me is real and I’m fucking RIGHT

We grow up being told what we should do
How to be successful
How to live our lives
What we should strive for
What we are good enough for
And what we must accomplish, in order to deserve more

We’re shown the way
Guided by those who themselves are guided by fear
Bound and tied
And silenced by the expectations, rules, and frowns of others, when we speak up

We get used to being told to be quiet …
To not let the crazy out …
To be careful …
And have realistic dreams

We learn how to fit in
We learn to walk the line
We want to be good at life! And so we work damn hard at it

We achieve EVERYTHING THEY FUCKING TOLD US
We’re LIVING the DREAM
And the only PROBLEM with it is, that somewhere ALWAYS present inside of us our soul is saying well YES, but THIS WAS NOT MY DREAM!

And the whole way through
The WHOLE entire way through
The ENTIRE fucking way through

That voice inside of you is there
And it’s telling you
And it’s calling you
And it’s reminding you
And it’s bringing you BACK to you

And it’s saying –

Well, yes. Yes, you can tell me what to do and what I should and what I must and even what I should WANT, but actually?

I don’t fucking care.
And you’re not fucking right.
And I just see things differently.
And maybe I AM crazy.
But the truth is – 
I know I’m right.
I know I’m right.
I KNOW what I feel inside of me is real and available and THAT I am fucking right and I.KNOW.EVERYTHING.

And I guess the only question is …

Will you live for it, for the beat of that drum inside of you, for the callings of your heart and the BLUEPRINT in your soul?

Or will you die –
like most everybody before you and everybody who you for some GOD forsaken reason choose to surround yourself with –

with it still inside

And as your head hits that final pillow, and your laid down to rest, a voice inside of you says –

Sweet dreams my darling …
sleep well …
in an eternity you never wanted and were never called for,
and yet which you chose …
when the whole entire fucking time you knew

the worlds inside of you were real
available
and all you had to do?

was listen

either way –

sweet dreams tonight, my loved one, and sleep tight

this is the life you chose

\