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Money Mindset, Success Mindset

I KEPT MYSELF FROM MAKING SERIOUS MONEY, BECAUSE IF I WAS SAFE WITH MONEY, THEN WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT?

I kept myself from making serious money because if I was safe with money, then what would even be the point of the whole thing?

What would I be getting up for each day, what was there to push or strive for and why even do ANYTHING?

If I was doing it for money –

It made sense.

It proved a point.

There was an END goal in sight.

‘Do this so I get that’.

But if I didn’t get up and do what I needed to do for MONEY each day, then why would I do it at ALL?

I couldn’t say for purpose or passion or flow or fulfilment, because if I would say that then it would imply that I thought I was good enough to JUST DO THINGS FOR THE SAKE OF DOING THE THINGS … that there was a value to my work, my art, my self, beyond just the value of what somebody would pay for it.

I suppose a lot of people think that money is one of the highest measurements of value –

But actually,
you’ll find,
when you consider your work being of value JUST BECAUSE IT’S OF VALUE and because it’s fucking transformational, powerful, MOVES people and changes them –
that money is the lowest value of all.

Somebody paid you for your work, great.
Your work is worthy of being put into the world because it has the potential to change the world and there is literally not a price that can be PUT on that?

Fuck me.

So, I ran.
I ran from purpose, I ran from passion, I ran from flow, I ran from doing what I needed to do for the sake of DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO.

I made it that ‘I have to do this or I won’t be able to pay my rent, etc’.

That makes it explicable.
It makes it safe.
It makes it ACCEPTABLE, of course – who can argue with that?! Nobody! Certainly not the scared me, the inner me.

But – ‘I have to do this because it’s that fucking important, and people need to hear this, and I have to get it out, and it’s what my life is meant to BE about, even if I NEVER MAKE A CENT FROM IT?’

Once again –

Fuck me.

It was too much … too much to consider, or contemplate, or figure out. I knew that I had this burning need inside of me, this deep deep HOLE, something was missing, I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t fulfilled, I couldn’t relax into just BEING.

And I told myself –

It was because I didn’t have the money to be ABLE to be at peace with myself, my life, my soul.

A silly silly story
Based on a lie
Because while money is FABULOUS
It cannot provide soul peace

And the truth was, that by making MONEY into the thing I was missing, the thing I needed to be filled, to be whole, to know I was enough, and doing enough, and could fucking BREATHE –

I avoided the truth.

Which was that the only thing which would ever, COULD ever, was ever gonna fill me up was giving my ALL –

My heart
My soul
My mind
Every part of me

TO LIVING FOR MY ART

And acknowledging that indeed, this art?

Was the very beat of my art, and for certain, without it?

I was just drifting –
In a cloud –
Through a life –
Of keeping up appearances –
Making some money –
Or not –
Doing some cool shit –
Either way –
But whether I got paid or didn’t, whether I paid my bills or couldn’t, whether I received the acclaim or NO, NONE OF IT FUCKING MATTERED

Sometimes I’d make some more money … enough to feel safe, for a bit … ‘look at me! I’m flying high!’ … and I’d feel the noose loosen. But as it did, almost instantly, a fear so great I couldn’t even begin to FATHOM it arose.

If money was now no longer an issue –
That meant that ALL THAT WAS LEFT TO PURSUE WAS PURPOSE.

Fuck me.
Fuck me.
FUCK ME.

Because what if what if WHAT if I wasn’t good enough, I couldn’t, people didn’t want me to BE the transformational person, what if I FELL ON MY FACE AND THEN THE WHOLE SKY CRASHED DOWN ON TOP OF ME?!

If I didn’t need to fill and save myself with MONEY then I would be faced with having to fill and save myself with PURPOSE, with PASSION, and with me –

Just being me
For the very sake of just being me
And for no other reason than just being me

Nothing to GET from it
Nothing to PROVE
Nothing to WORK TOWARDS, either

Just total
Unadulterated
Swimming
in Me-ness

It was too much, too much, TOO much for me to consider, or take on board, or handle, at all.

My throat would close over at the very idea of it!

I CAN’T LIVE FOR PURPOSE, AND PURPOSE ALONE! I DON’T KNOW HOW!

Nobody gave me PERMISSION to do that!

It’s NOT the done thing!

It’s not why we get up in the morning … is it?

And so I would do
Invariably
What we all do
Invariably
Before we figure it out
(hopefully)

And I’d back track back track back track, cycle back QUICKLY –

To where money was scarce
Fear was rising
The noose once more tightened

And once again I could breathe, because I knew how to live for MONEY, any fool can do that!

I felt safe
I felt like I knew the rules
I felt like this made SENSE

Ironically the less safe I actually WAS, with money, the more safe I FELT, because this –

This was a world I knew how to live in.

This was a world I knew how to show up in.

This was a world I could keep on gettin’ up for, gettin’ through the day for, go to bed at night for, somehow measure my PROGRESS with, too.

And really –

If it was all about purpose –

If it was all about passion –

If it was all about flow –

THEN WHAT?

Then what?

Then fucking what?!

Well, I suppose THEN what is that eventually I woke up.

That’s all.

I saw it for what it was.

That’s all.

And I got tired of my success being a measure of my income, or other such obvious things.

But most of all I acknowledged –

That the only thing which would fill me up
Heal this hole inside of me
Allow me to feel SAFE … at peace … and sure that I was okay …
Was the very thing I’d been running from and refusing to make it about

For most of my twenties, I made it about my body

If I looked a certain way, I was safe, I was enough, I was cool, I was WINNING

But,
it never worked
And behind the scenes
I binged and binged and binged and cryed

Desperate to fill that hole

Not seeing what was available to me the entire time, right in front of me, if I would just say yes, to do so

For most of my thirties, really, I made it about business, and money

If I made a certain amount of money, if I had the markers of success, if the industry approved of me and agreed that yes – I’m a leader and a badass, then I was safe. I was enough. I was cool. I was WINNING.

But,

It didn’t work.

Money cycled up and down.
I went from highs to lows, and couldn’t figure out why.
And every time I THOUGHT I was getting ahead, I ended up crashing back down again, back to where once again –
I had to run to keep up.

Behind the scenes I was so frustrated that why after ALL THIS TIME did I still not have my SHIT together.

The silly thing was, I DID see, what was available to me the entire time, right in front of me, I KNEW at this point that it was PURPOSE PURPOSE PURPOSE, or nothing.

Sometimes people ask me –

“Kat, why did you stay for so long in such an unhappy marriage?”

And I answer –

“Well, I guess I really needed to learn that lesson quite a few times over. And eventually?

I learned it”

And so here we are.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

🔥🔥 FIRED UP & FINANCIALLY READY TO EXPLODE is here! Eeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk and a HALF! I have not been this, well, FIRED UP & READY TO EXPLODE in a LONG while.

https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/firedup

You know when something just comes through you?

And it’s HOLY FREAKING FLOW YES and all the things?

And you FEEL the fire and the gold and the energy and the NOW?

Well,

this is that.

AND THEN SOME.

I’m so proud to invite you in to this brand new course with me! I will be teaching this in a LIVE Facebook group with twice weekly livestream trainings (+ more!) – something I have not done in a very long while.

When you say yes to soul-

life says yes to you.

Fired up and Financially Ready to Explode is the NEXT level wealth and mindset strategy for the already successful woman who is done playing small!

Here’s the thing –

There are very clear reasons why you never quite get to that FULL inhale-exhale state of money freedom, even as your income and lifestyle goes up.

You can bet your sweet ass we gonna talk about those reasons. Understand them. And learn how to roll with them. BECAUSE YOU GET TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE FULLY BEING YOU.

And OMG. So much more. And a LOT of it comes down to understanding that the MONEY WORKS FOR YOU WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND HOW TO ROLL WITH YOUR OWN CHANGING NEEDS.

And? That there are a million freakin’ ways to make money and there is ALWAYS money there that gets to come from flow. So for women like us … one of the biggest FOOLHARDY AF things we can do .. is try to make our business flow respond to things we think should work, things that did work, things that are working for others, etc!

What we need instead is simple:

A clear freaking understanding of where today’s money is at. This week’s. This months. The long-terms. And how to do it all in a way where true wealth growth becomes automated and inherent to who you are. Where you can breathe fully in your creative needs each day. AND, where it’s ALL fun and yes whilst making a crazy impact on those you want to help!

In short?

You need to get FIRED UP AND FINANCIALLY READY TO EXPLODE with me.

And that’s what we’re gonna do here:

FIRED UP & FINANCIALLY READY TO EXPLODE

– Next Level Wealth Mindset & Strategy for the Already Successful Woman Who is Done Playing Small –

We begin Thursday Feb 18th, US time.

https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/firedup

30 days together.

Bi-weekly livestream trainings in our closed Facebook group. (Yes! I have not done this in absolutely AGES!)

Q&A sessions after each live training (times will vary to account for the multitude of timezones, all sessions recorded)

Daily conversation and asskickery and added learning in the Facebook group (I can’t wait!)

Journal prompts + homework to follow each training

Complete understanding of the different ways money should be coming in, covering over 30 different considerations for where money comes from and why it’s NOT coming in when it’s not!

Tailored to you pathway for understanding your blocks, setbacks, why you would NOT want what you say you want, and exactly where the biggest ‘bang for your buck’ moves are to be made in order to open up receiving.

Tailored to you pathway for understanding how to flow with the above based on your changing needs, energies, goals, and desires!

I’m teaching you exactly how I always know how to roll with my OWN ebbs and flows, and the exact way that I do that. This is why it’s tailored! I teach you how to design the process for YOU, and how to always know when things need adjusting or fine-tuning

Here is my all in all purpose and intent for you with this brand new course:

1) You understand how to get money to show up from you via automated and systematic ‘cash machine’ sources, in a way that is fully aligned and flow yes for you and your brand AND your peeps

2) You understand how to roll with the day to day living breathing moving changing multi-passionate VIBE of the thing, namely how to pluck down money from the great beyond like the supernatural badass you are DEPENDING ON WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE AND WHAT IT IS YOU NEED TO BE DIALED IN AND SWITCHED ON THAT DAY. Etc.

I can’t wait to spend these 30 days with you! We begin We begin Thursday Feb 18th, US time.

This? Is the fire and gold and holy freakin’ rainfall you’ve been waiting for. LET’S GO.

https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/firedup

PPS.

The pre-work is hands on and practical AF! 🔥 Join today and receive immediate access to a 1 hour+ previously private client only audio I recorded on the 11 Ways We Make More Money Consistently in my company. You can implement all of this now, it’s one of the most powerful trainings I ever recorded.

And!

I’ve included a Join Today Bonus!

Every day up til our start date I will be emailing out a photo of my journaling from that day, and an insight into why / what I journaled, plus a prompt or three for you. This is a join today bonus on TOP of the pre-work! Fun!

Psssst there are other badass bonuses as well. But you’ll have to read the page to see 😉

https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/firedup