Success Mindset

IS SHE A HARDCORE CLOSED OFF BITCH, OR JUST CERTAIN OF WHO SHE DAMN WELL IS?

“Well, you do have a bit of that hardcore bitch energy about you, I can see why people would say that” he said.

We were walking on the beach and I had brought up how I know I have a ‘fuck off bubble’ which I put up in a lot of situations. It’s very rare that this is deliberate, although I certainly know how to absolutely dissuade a person from even considering breathing near me if I so desire, without saying or doing anything or even changing my facial expression. But no, that’s not what I was referencing. I was talking about just my general ‘normal’ demeanour, and how I am fully aware I automatically, via my energy, tell most people – okay, fine, perhaps especially men – ‘don’t even think about it’.

I replied –

“Well, okay … maybe … but actually, is it that I have a hardcore bitch energy, or is it that I’m just really fucking certain of who I am, and most people are NOT, and so they don’t know what to do with that or how to really respond to it?”

He agreed with this idea which was nice … I think that anyone who is dropped in can see pretty easily beneath the so-called fuck off bubble … but it kept playing on my mind later.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, or something along these lines.

Kissy Denise, who I fully love and adore and who I find to be simultaneously one of if not the most entertaining people I follow online as well as one of the most smack-you-in-the-face truthful and deep with her message, posted a blog a few days ago about how a lot of true Goddesses feel frustrated that they don’t get as much male attention as should probably be valid, based on how fucking hot and amazing and next level they are. (Okay, I added the fucking hot and amazing and next level bit in myself, I’m paraphrasing what Kissy said, but that was the gist!).

Not long ago, when I had a man situation which I thought was looking like a fuck yes go suddenly belly up and all OVER the damn place, my mother pointed out that it was probably a simple matter of God blocking something that wasn’t actually aligned.

“He has a better plan for you”.

In Kissy’s blog she wrote about how God doesn’t even let the not-right men, the not KING men, SEE you. They might see you through their penis … but not actually SEE you.

I know in my heart that this is true, even though the truth is also that it’s fucking annoying at times!

And, I think it’s not just true relevant to romance.

I think in all situations that with women and men as soul-led, as highly intelligent, as gifted and ‘other worldly’ as you and I (let’s just say it as it is, hmmm?), that ONLY our true people see us.

Other people, the not right people, the ones who were NEVER MEANT TO GET US nor we them – but yet whom we do sometimes misguidedly seek validation, approval, even love from – they will come close to us at times, but ultimately they will veer away.

“She’s just a cold-hearted hardcore bitch”

“She’s too much”

“She’s FRIVOLOUS, silly”

In business I often hear these sorts of things and I also frequently hear that people have labeled me as being all about money, materialistic, or that I think all my clients need to carry Chanel and wear red-bottommed heels.

I might get triggered for a little minute by these sorts of comments, and want to fire up in response, and then I remember –

Oh.

You’re just NOT MY PERSON.

Because if you WERE then you would not need to have it explained to you –

That I’m not actually a hardcore bitch, I’m just fully fucking grounded in who I am and that is very unsettling and disturbing to someone who is not, and so they label it in a way that dissolves their own not-enough-ness, and that they can write off comfortably.

That I’m not actually too much at all … just too much for people who don’t go very far beneath surface depth.

That I’m not remotely all about money or material items, my soul truth shines BRIGHT for the right people … but hell yeah you get to have all the fancy shiz niz you want.

That I don’t have a fuck off vibe at all – unless it happens to be that you’re one of the people who I instantly know is only going to drain my soul and waste my time because at the end of the day YOU are not someone who is fully pressing play in their life, and I just don’t play with people –

Not with men, not with clients, not with friends, not with NOBODY –

– who doesn’t play life all out, and like they know that they’re alive and can have it all.

So.

Maybe I am closed off.

Maybe I am hard to get ‘in’ with.

Maybe I am socially awkward, or even rude at times!

Maybe it’s tough to get to know me, tough to get me to relax.

Or maybe you’re just not the right person for me.

And so you only see that shallow layer.

And maybe this is a GOOD thing, because you know what?

Either I can adjust my energy and cover my soul to pander to the endlessly gaping empty souls of the vacant and vacuous masses –

Or I can shine fucking bright as the true ALL out unapologetic Queen I am –

Knowing and being fully okay with that I will only be seen by few and far between –

But that THAT IS ALL I NEED.

At the end of the day, you can dim your light to fit in and know that your true soul people will never even SEE you if you do so, ’cause baby you being boring and bland as fuck and why would they even notice –

Or you can regally walk through and part the people like the red fucking sea, as you stand up tall and proud as the beacon you were always meant to be for those who were always meant for you –

And you for them.

One thing is certain –

I don’t want anybody in my space who is not fucking certain –

Of who they are.

What they came here to do.

What they want.

And the non-negotiable fact that all of it is done,

because they said so.

The End.

Remember –

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