The details don’t fucking matter. People aren’t going to pay you because your thing is all pretty and has all the right bells and whistles and SO many cool features and extras. Just like they’re not gonna date you because of your bonus reel, and the fact that all your moving parts are fancy as fuck, and triple insured too.

In the end, it’s not gonna happen because of how you look –

What you got going on –

ANYTHING to do with how well you can prove of your awesomeness –

Or the promise of a foot rub a day with sale.

In fact, the more you’re trying to MAKE YOUR SHIT WORK by adding on extras and pretty-ing it all up, the more likely it is that you’re so far away from truth you’ve forgotten what truth even IS, if you ever knew at all.

It’s like the girl who leaves the house every day with every part of her polished and gleaming and making sure she is ALWAYS the most in shape / well dressed / happy and sweet and funny / bleugh. What happens to her? Exactly, you don’t know. Nobody knows. BECAUSE SHE IS NOT MEMORABLE OR EVEN REALLY NOTICED.

Just like when you show up in the news feed all day yapping and yipping and offering and promising and jumpin’ up and down with the fanciest bonuses and add-ons and “OMG YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT / MY TEAM TRIED TO STOP ME / THIS IS INSANE / YOUR MIND IS GONNA BE BLOWN / EXCITEABLE EMOJIS VOMITING OUT EVERYWHERE” BULLSHIT, what happens?

You’re not memorable.

And you’re not even really noticed, except for the occasional ‘who the hell let Mz Shopping Channel in here?’ miffy kind of wonderment.

I don’t know who told you that he or she who is shoutiest and shiniest wins, but girl that’s not how it works.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with being pretty as fuck (why would you not; it’s a choice!), and there’s also nothing wrong with adding on random extras for fun (for FUN, and ’cause it was truly a fuck yes for your soul, not for please-God-spare-me-some-pennies-I’m-about-to-drown), but that shit works when it is on the back of WHAT now?

ENERGY baby.

It’s not the girl who has it all goin’ on all of the time who is magnetic, pursued, UNARGUABLY the Queen.

It’s the one who carries herself a certain way where she could be rolling up in a legit actual trash bag, naked face and messy scrunched up hair, and everyone would be asking where they can back-order it from.

It’s the one who is so fucking grounded and present and certain in who she is that NOBODY would question her and EVERYBODY wants to be around her. To absorb of her BEING-ness.

Where’s your BEING-ness been baby, where’d it go? That’s what I wanna know, when I look at the way you’re shouting and TRYING to shine and forgetting that TRYING to do anything –

Is not a thing.

Who stole her PRESENCE, who took her CERTAINTY, when did she lose sight of who the fuck she WAS?

There is nothing more instantly unattractive than a person who shows themselves to be not certain of who they are.


Certainty in BUSINESS (and in life!) does not mean that you have to be all about just this one thing, box yourself in to some kind of niche or something. No! The niche is and always has been YOU. It’s not about worrying whether or not you confuse people, girl do you really think the QUEEN is worrying whether or not she’s confusing people, or being too much for them?

Hell to the NO.

She is Queening around all over the place doing what damn well SUITS her, SERVES her, and by definition she knows that if it suits and serves her? It’s good stuff for everyone, because it is her very PRESENCE which shifts people, calls them to action, and helps them also to be all that THEY always were.

^^^ can’t very well be shifting people with your presence when you refusing to be fucking present with yourself, CAN you now?!

You can’t very well be BEING anything much at all when you refuse to BE with yourself.

Dropped in.


Grounded in YOU baby.

So if right now it’s feeling a helluva lot harder than what you really believe is appropriate, well, guess what?

It’s not because you need to fix something, or fancy it up.

You don’t need to ADD more GOODIES, you’re not fucking Santa come to keep all the kids quiet for a minute with promises of candy.

What you need to do, is to strip back.

Let things drop away.

Let your FEAR SELF drop away, and all of the things you’ve told yourself you need to be, in order to be seen, and heard, and loved.

The answer was always you.

And if you don’t go back to that, and bravely and unapologetically own it, UNADORNED to begin with at least, then you will continue eternally to fight for likes –

Fight for love –

Fight for pennies –

Fight to be able to BREATHE.

I know it’s scary, but it’s also fucking obvious:

The way you’re gonna get there is by being more you.

They can’t very well respond to your core,

If you refuse to connect to or show your core.

Don’t forget –


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