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TEAR YOUR SOUL OUT EACH DAY AND EAT IT ALIVE

As an artist, you will never ever ever be *actually* soul satisfied selling your wares.

Pause for a moment, before you screw up your nose and conclude that that makes ZERO sense because the whole entire thing you’ve been trying to figure out is how to get better at making money from your art, your soul work, the deepest beingness of you, and consider –

You don’t give AF about whether or not your art makes you money, and in actual fact there is something just EVER so slightly (and perhaps WILDLY) distasteful about asking it to.

Artist.
Creator.
Soul-led messenger.
ONE WHO KNOWS THEY WERE CALLED TO A HIGHER PURPOSE.
HUMAN WHOSE VERY PRESENCE SHIFTS PEOPLE.
ONE WHO CAN’T NOT UNLEASH, RELEASE, POUR FORTH, EXXUUUUDDEEEEE SHIT THAT SHIFTS OTHERS SOUL.
YOU.

You don’t do what you do to make money.

You do it because, when you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t NOT.

And because you must.

And I would put it to you that the TRUE reason you’re not yet making all da monies you could or should be, and that, even if you have figured out how to do quite nicely in this game, thank you very much, there is something about it all which just continually feels OFF,

is that YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE DOING THE JOB OF BEING YOU IN ORDER TO MAKE IT PAY YOU.

(dance, my little puppet, dance! And you’ll get a pretty penny or three, maybe a brighter one if you dance faster!)

In ACTUAL fact,

the whole entire thing enrages you.

Yet,

you push that down
you pretend it’s not so
you cover your eyes and your ears and your mouth so that NO such idea can get in
and you continue on your path of SOUL DESTRUCTION … trying to make money from your art … all the while insisting that you’re not secretly internally just rocking back and forth in the corner screaming in silent pain.

When you DO tune in ever so slightly to these inner truths, it’s just CONFUSING and ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING, because, well –

of course you want to make fucking money from your art, your truth, being you! And you also know you SHOULD.

you’ve always known:

you were born for more
you get to make MILLIONS (for starters)
you came here to SHIFT people, and wake them up
and you have powerful work to do in the world, let’s go!

you ALWAYS knew:

you came here for extraordinary

to live a different life

to not do so would be to not BREATHE.

So then what?

Well, you don’t know.

So you return once more to trying to figure out how to get paid even more, create even more, help or shift people even more, from what’s inside of you.

Dance my little puppet …

dance!

Will I tell you something?

YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE BEING YOU PAY YOU.

I mean, sure –

you get to be paid to be fully you.

I say this all the time!

But if you take my classes,

read a little deeper,

stick around for a while,

and LISTEN –

you’ll understand that there is separation in that statement.

> you get to be fully you

AND

> you get to be paid,

> shift the world

> wake them up and bring them ALL the way back to soul

> etc

> Amen!

But these things are actually not cause and effect.

They are LIVING and then decision, intention, choice, order placed and received, thank you very much.

LIVING, for you, for us, for the messy beautiful wild crazy ridiculous ones like US,

means TEARING OUR SOUL OUT EACH DAY AND EATING IT ALIVE PURELY BECAUSE TO NOT DO SO WOULD BE TO NOT SURVIVE.

The whole entire point is you DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO BECAUSE YOU MUST.

You do NOT ask it to pay you,

or anything else.

You are simply RESPONSIBLE to what is in you, because it can’t live without you,

nor you without it,

and NEITHER of you gets to ask the other to DO anything for it.

“What do you need him to be for you”, somebody asked me recently, about my love.

“Just him”, I answered.

And I meant it.

Does that mean I don’t ‘get’, or ‘gain’, or ‘receive’, so many things from his HIM-ness?

Of course not.

But that is by the by. It just happens to BE.

It’s not what I need him to be.
Not what I ask.
Not what I look for.
Or try and make the relationship provide.

So it is with your art, when you are true to it.

When you are YOU to it.

And it to you.

You go in, and in, and IN, to that wildness, that soul yearning, that unleashing, that ROAR.

YOU LET IT EXIST, BUT FULLY, JUST BECAUSE IT MUST.

And then, oh – !

Somewhere along the way you notice.

I seem to have GOT, or RECEIVED, or ALLOWED through, all these other nifty perks and goodies.

And – oh yes!

Well, I suppose I DID ALWAYS KNOW I WOULD GET TO HAVE THOSE THINGS.

And I did CHOOSE them, ‘order’ them, decide them, intend they would show up.

I planted that shit in!

And now look –

(she says in wonderment)

it’s showed up.

But, how funny!

It’s almost as though it showed up WHEN I FORGOT TO LOOK OR WORK FOR IT.

Kind of like,

ordering a fabulous meal in a restaurant,

then forgetting the world around while you drop in to the vortex of the now, in your conversation, or writing, or gazing, upon life,

and then look – it showed up!

NOT because I went looking for it.
NOT because I tried to make my ‘do’ worthy of it.
NOT because I worked for it, tried puppeteer it, hovered over it.

ONLY because I expected that OF COURSE IT MOTHERFUCKING SHOWED UP. I asked for it!

Do you understand,

that this is how life is?

And how it can ONLY be?

For those who were called like us?

And do you understand the terrible disservice you do to your art, when you try to make it perform for you,

or you for it?

Do you understand that in doing so, you are giving your life for an outcome,

like money
acclaim
soul satisfaction, even!
whatever,

when your life was given to you simply for you to BE,

and to let FREE,

whatever is in you,

all the while knowing and trusting and of COURSE-ing that your every need, choice, decision, would be taken care of.

You’ve gotten the two all tangled up.

It’s not how it was ever meant to be.

So detach,

from the idea that what’s in you was ever meant to DO anything for you.

Let it be free because you can’t not.

And then, separate to that, ask for the things and know they shall be given you.

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play! 

Kat x

PS.

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