News, Success Mindset

THE TORTURED SOUL OF AN ARTIST

I was going to write today about the fastest way to achieve any goal, the blog had already begun itself in my head as I Uber’d my way down here to my fave Beverly Hills Starbucks, and I knew it would be a good one.

An important one, because what could matter more than helping you GTF out of your own way and into NOW creating the things which matter to you, with ease!

But honestly – the fastest way to achieve any goal is something I can tell you in 2 sentences:

Decide that you will.

Do the fucking work.

I guess if you want me to break it down more I’d add that you need to KEEP deciding and locking in that decision every single day, stating it as DONE, connecting emotionally to it, and doing the INSIDE work as well as the practical.

Maybe it could have been an entire blog πŸ™‚

But here is what I’m really thinking about and what I want to share with you right now.

It’s never going to be done.

This feeling inside of you, which pulls at you and calls to you and often so excites and inspires you but yet also drains and at times threatens to destroy you.

It will never go away.

I was thinking about the future … about the ultimate outcome for what I’m trying to achieve with my life, what my big picture vision and dreams look like.

I was thinking about love, and family, and flow, and fun, and impact, and knowing my work has made a difference in people’s lives and what it would all look like when I’m there and I was trying to imagine what it must feel like to be able to fully relax and know you’ve done what you came here to do.

And I realised:

But I’ll never be done.

I already impact a lot of people … I get messages every day from people telling me I’ve changed their lives, that they’ve walked away from so much that was wrong and run into what they KNEW they couldn’t continue to ignore. Sometimes I can’t even answer these messages right away because the responsibility feels so BIG, even though of course the truth is I love reading them and hearing this!

But the point is … I’ll never be done. When will I have impacted enough people? Well, I talk all the time about millions, and I’m not there yet. But I know full well that when it IS millions I’ll still want more. I’ll know I NEED more and more than that I’ll know I am MEANT to give more, serve more, impact more.

Same thing with money. And it’s not even about wanting or needing more money as such. It’s about what it represents, I suppose, but let’s be honest: it’s also about – because you can.

Because there is no ceiling.

Because why would you cap yourself, when there is more to create, more to put out there, more to give, more to LIVE.

And I know that if anybody who is NOT one of us is reading this they’ll not understand this thing about NEVER being satisfied and never done. They’ll think that’s silly … pointless … that it’s all very well to want SUCCESS but that there should be some sort of point where you stop and say “okay! I got there! I did it! I have the great house, the car, the investment portfolio, my business is successful, I’m profitable, etc, now I just need to maintain it all, maybe set a few new stretch goals each year to keep me moving forward and knowing I’m not fucking DEAD”.

Okay, I don’t think they’ll say that last part; I think I added that for them πŸ™‚

But don’t you just read all of that and think –

No.

It will never be about that.

It was never about that ANYWAY.

I mean sure – we want the stuff. We want the markers of success, who doesn’t want a great house, car, money in the bank etc, or whatever your version of all of that is.

But it was never ABOUT that.

And the thing is … the thing is that what it IS about, by definition can never be achieved.

YOU’LL NEVER BE DONE.

It will NEVER end.

I’m not trying to say this from some kind of heavy-hearted energy either, even though I do think it’s coming across that way a little bit.

I just think: you need to realise, acknowledge and ACCEPT this, because the default is to imagine that at some point you’re going to be able to rest and breathe and pat yourself on the back, and what –

Stop?

I mean if you THINK about it you do know you’re never going to stop!! You don’t need me to tell you that.

But this whole thing about not being able to properly see the vision of ‘when you’re done and your life is fully on track’, there’s a reason you can’t see it.

You’ll never be done, and your life will NEVER fully be on track either, because ALIGNMENT by definition means ADJUSTMENT.

Constant.

Fucking.

Adjustment.

Constant tuning in.

Constant CREATING.

Constant PUSHING.

Constant STRIVING.

And in the end, you can despair about this at times, as you inevitably will because sometimes it IS heavy and exhausting and you just wish you could be NORMAL even though the worst thing EVER would be to be normal!

Or you can embrace it.

Realise, if it helps, that you’re not alone, there are lots of us out there!

But most of all realise that this is just how it IS.

There’s a reason so many artists live a life filled with destruction and sabotage, anxiety, fear, worse. I think it’s because they try to fight who they are.

They try to numb the constant fucking call.

They let resistance RULE them.

They turn AWAY from what needs to be done, and ultimately from who they are.

The LOT of an artist is to live for what’s inside of them.

Art first, before everything.

Purpose first, always.

AAble to participate in the normal world, sure. We can show up. We can be there in body and on the very odd occasion even in spirit.

But being in the normal world –

Doesn’t make us OF it.

So here is what you do, here is how you manage the TORTURED soul inside of you which will never be satisfied, content, or ready to stop wandering and seeking.

You accept.

You accept who you are.

You accept that you weren’t born to exist, or even just to love and leave.

You accept that the reason for your BEING is to create.

And you GET TO FUCKING WORK CREATING.

Every day.

No matter what.

As the highest priority.

No matter what.

Because the only way you will EVER truly be able to breathe, as an artist, is when you’ve first wrung out every last drop that’s inside of you.

This is a daily must, at a minimum.

So when you feel the call:

You answer.

And when something eats at you:

You let it out.

And when you just can’t think move breathe anything because you have to fucking UNLEASH you drop EVERYTHING and you GO AND FUCKING UNLEASH.

This is who you ARE.

This is what you were BORN for.

This is how it ALWAYS will be.

So STOP TRYING TO FIT IN. Stop wondering why the fuck you can’t EVER seem to feel good about just LIVING.

When you let it out –

Follow the call –

Every day –

And resistance be SCREWED –

You buy yourself a moment.

Here or there.

To pause.

Now and then.

And pretend.

Until it builds up again.

That you can be one of them.

To be the good wife, the good parent, the friend. To nod. Smile. Pass time. Exist. Do the things the HUMANS do.

But the only way to buy that time, to be able to breathe and live as they do, for a moment, is to first give in to all of you.

The only reason –

You can’t breathe | stop | love | laugh | anything –

Is because you didn’t first give in to you.

So give in to you.

All of you.

And repeat.

For the rest of your life.

After all –

All you ever had to do, REALLY, was give your life for it.