WANTING FROM INFINITE CHOICE

The issue here is not that you don’t know what you want.

Of course you fucking know what you want.

PRECISELY.

The issue is either:

You do not allow yourself to see, feel and CONSCIOUSLY ‘know’ what you do in fact know,

and / or –

You do not believe that what you want is available for you (or, at the very least, available for you right now), and so therefore you on some level think you don’t know what you want,

because you are trying to find a ‘want’ within a construct of what your mind determines possible or available,

rather than from a place of infinite choice,

(which is, one must understand, the only place where WANT truly resides)

OR

because you are pretending you don’t know what you want, also based on an idea of it not being possible, and you’d really be far better off just admitting it,

and then free-falling in to the void.

The void being, of course –

The place where the things you don’t yet know and have not yet been shown exists.

BUT EXIST THEY MOST CERTAINLY DO, AND ALWAYS HAVE.

And you understand this, yes?

You KNOW this, and you’ve always known this, even during the times you would have most emphatically insisted you know nothing of the sort!

The truth is …

you would have NOT insisted emphatically, not at all.

Because had you have been put on the spot,

were you right NOW to be put on the spot,

about the desires,

the wishes,

the ‘one days’,

you argue so furiously are not available,

you may well have come up with a laundry list of ‘buts’ and ‘what abouts’ and ‘you don’t understands’ and ‘it doesn’t work like that!’ type statements –

but could you have EMPHATICALLY insisted that it’s not POSSIBLE?

No.

You could not.

You WOULD not.

YOU –

would not.

So no. The issue is not that you don’t know what you want.

INDEED IT NEVER IS.

The issue is –

You do not ALLOW yourself what you want.

You make believe you don’t know,
can’t be certain,
and near almost convince yourself that the thing lacking is clarity

“oh! If only I were clear!” (insert woe is me visage, one hand flung backward across the brow to depict said woe)

or you lean on statements like the ones above, which your soul has no regard for, and never did

but if you were to become very quiet
and very still
and the whole world paused for a heartbeat
just for you

and everybody were staring at you with bated breath
just WAITING to celebrate as you received
precisely what you bidded you desired to receive
and you knew that it were done
before you asked
and you allowed yourself JUST the exhale and surrender required to access that moment of absolute certainty to arrive
as you finally
let go

and on TOP of all of that you knew in doing so that no MATTER what you asked
it were for the greater and greatness of ALL
and ONLY would be received with welcome and joy BY said all

would it not all of a sudden be so,

would you not all of a sudden find,

that you motherfucking KNEW?

So.

Instead of seeking to move forward from

‘I need to find what I really want’

and giving your mind a framework of limitation from which to produce it,

a framework you entirely made up,

instead why not make up unlimited possibility

and ask what it wants from that?

Either way,