WHEN FEAR HAS YOU BY THE SHORT AND CURLIES, LEAN BACK, CHILL A LITTLE, WAIT

When fear has you by the short and curlies, it’s gripping so damn tight that your eyes are just about pouring and you don’t know if you can take it for even another minute, with every horrible twist it gets you tighter, more fully, more OMFG the PAIN, do the exact opposite thing to what it expects and LEAN FORWARD GRINNING INTO IT.

Okay so maybe you don’t have to GRIN as such, but give in? Capitulate to its demands? Negotiate with terrorists? Never!

Let’s take that a step further though, shall we?

It’s not about just holding on for dear life, submissive to the clench, succumbing to the idea that you’re just gonna have to somehow ride this shit out until the outcome reveals itself one way or the other, either the destruction and complete dashing of your hopes and dreams onto the ground, or – thank God! – what you WANT and LONG for comes to life and finally you can breathe again.

You do shit that way, and guess what’s actually going on?

YOU ARE TRAINING YOUR SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS FEARS LITTLE BITCH!

Yeah, so the fear subsided because the tension was broken and things finally came to a point of some level of clarity or conclusion, the terrible bad awful sad thing either happened, or (more likely) it did not, or (also likely) some sort of powerful lesson GOT to be learned, but at what cost?

At the cost of you literally coding in that you can’t breathe until FEAR decides to loosen up its grip on you.

That life is a series of events in which things happen TO you, and then you die.

That sure, you’re strong and tough and so you absolutely learn to roll with fears punches, you harden up, you tighten up, YOU CAN TAKE IT BITCH, but, um, well, REALLY –

is that how you want this story to go?

Is it how it NEEDS to go?

Do you really want a life in which the only way you ever get to ANY outcome, good or bad, is by ENDURING the fright or pain or scary uncertainty which came before it?

Or,

do you want to throw down the damn emergency cord on this here train of terror RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and decides that there gets to be a different way?

I’d be going for the latter 

Because here’s the thing:

Even in the midst of fears tightest ‘gonna getcha’ clenches, you can absolutely choose peace. Groundedness. Connectedness to you. And to dance merrily down the street of life with the most ‘whatever, I’m just gonna be over here BREATHING and LIVING and LOVING every bit of who I am and the whole damn journey’ vibe that you like!

The vibe of YOU is always available sister, and it is ALWAYS on trend.

And, no matter what is going on, and how much you REALLY REALLY DO WANNA KNOW how it’s all going down and when the FUCK the scary bit will pass, you can still.choose.freedom.

Joy.

Love.

Possibility.

Expansion.

You can still choose you!

So, here is what you do.

When fear has GOTCHU.

When you’re just trying to get through the day, the moment, this breath, to the bit where finally its grip loosens, and YOU are back in control.

You put yourself in the damn drivers seat anyway.

You ask yourself if this fear is even real, or valid. Often it is not! The pain is a story you created in your end.

If it IS real, and – crucially – if there is nothing you can actually do about it, you lean INTO it. You choose that it has no power over you. I learned this in the best way through the several 5-8 hour tattooing sessions I’ve enjoyed learning about myself in. I learned that when I RESISTED the pain, and tried to wait it out, distract myself, get through, it was worse.

When I ACCEPTED that this is what was for that moment, and consciously chose to lean into it, allow it, yes even fully choose to FEEL it, to let myself feel ALL of it rather than trying to pretend it wasn’t real, IT’S POWER DISSIPATED.

Dramatically.

And there were times when it became even meditative, and flow.

This is true also for life.

Sometimes the pain or fear is made up.

A product of your stories, your conditioning, your past, and what you’ve allowed yourself to become coded as on a sub-conscious level.

(Maybe now is a great time to change that coding, hmmm, and choose to see things in a different way?).

And sometimes the pain is real.

The fear has validity to it.

But,

is it EVER valid, no matter how real or even relevant it may feel, that that fear or pain gets to be in CHARGE of you?

Or,

is it ALWAYS true that YOU get to choose your inner state –

your reactions –

and whether or not you choose to motherfucking keep breathing and keep showing up for your life?!

Listen:

Living this life, and being this kind of person, being somebody who chooses a standard of continual conscious growth and excellence for themselves in all areas, is NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED.

It would be easier to stay asleep.

But baby girl, don’t you see?

The problem is you already woke up.

Now get back to actin’ like you remember it