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Live Your Passion

How to Follow Your Dreams Even When Your Partner Doesn’t “Get” It

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Do you ever just want to tell your partner to get screwed with his opinions and “concerns” about what you’re doing with your business? For you maybe it’s your Mum or your friend but either way, the idea is the same. Yeah yeah, they want the best for you, I know. But why don’t they trust YOU to know what’s best for you?

It’s infuriating!

I mean, I don’t know what goes on in YOUR world, but this is EXACTLY how my now-husband then-boyfriend reacted when I first started on my quest to make money online and truly create my dream life, and all that it entailed. This is just the gist of it you understand; I can’t remember the details –

“So you’ve got yourself a nice new shiny dream do you? That’s beautiful! I love it! So pretty! What are you going to do with it? What’s the first step you’ll take? Tell me ALL about it honey! Wow – just wow. You are so on the ball. Big things are in store for you! I can’t wait to see where this goes for you. Maybe you should quit your job? Really put everything you’ve got into it? I’ll support you no matter what happens – I believe in you!”

Insert raucous laughter and rolling around on the floor here.

What it really went like, and let me tell you I damn well DO remember the details of it, was something like this –

“What the fuck are you doing on the computer again?”

“Seriously?! You’re STILL there!”

“C’mon honey, you’ve been on there for ages!”

Cue varied expressions of eye rolling, frustration, huffing and puffing, exasperation, you name it. I’ll let you decide who from.

Of course that stuff was just the tip of the iceberg – annoying, but also – whatever. Pretty much the same way I reacted when the TV was blaring Eurosports hour after hour. What really hurt and okay just damn well drove me INSANE was the lack of belief, the lack of vision in the big picture.

With excitement, I’d try to explain what I was doing, share my dreams, stumbling over my explanations because to be honest I didn’t really get it myself; was just trying to figure it all out, but still couldn’t help but want to talk about it, share, get feedback that I was on the right track. And instead what I got was some version of dazed and confused mixed with irritation, and worst of all –

Disbelief.

Not in a mean, “I don’t believe in you” sort of way. More like a “you’re so naive and why can’t you act like a normal person” sort of a way. Coupled with perhaps a slight concern that I may in fact be delusional.

Oh, so you want to make a 6-figure income all online, selling, what is it now? Ebooks? O-kay.

You want to be a big-name speaker, a world-famous author, change the world? Cool honey.

He never outright said “you can’t do that”, but there was a definite sense of why would you THINK you can do that. And just occasionally the question was posed –

“Don’t you think you might just be wasting your time with all of this?”

Well actually no I did NOT think that motherf^&ker, but thanks for MAKING me think it. Asshole.

And I’d shout, and yell, and EXPLODE, and then inevitably cry because all I wanted, all I really wanted, was for the man who said he loved me to GET me. To TRULY believe in me, and to tell me so. And you know what else? I also wanted him to listen with interest and excitement!

I didn’t want to see him sighing with annoyance when I shared yet another awesome success story from someone who I looked up to online.

I didn’t want to see his eyes cloud over when I spoke about my latest idea.

You can sure as sh*t believe I didn’t want to hear ANYTHING to do with me constantly changing my mind.

And no I was NOT really interested in whether or not I could ‘afford it’ when it came to the latest coaching, book or course I had to have!

And yeah. I really was still on the computer and no I wasn’t bloody well about to get off!

But thanks for asking.

One of the (many!) things I’ve learned from attending thousands of church services over my lifetime is that if you want to share the message you don’t just go and tell somebody they should join your faith, and try to explain to them why. You live your life a certain way and you SHOW them. I mean seriously – would YOU like it if someone, no matter how much you loved them, started earnestly trying to tell you why you just HAD TO get on board with their faith? Not likely, right. At best you’d find it annoying, and at worst – well. We already painted that picture.

If you want to get your husband/partner/boyfriend/whoever on board with your dreams and your BELIEFS about business and life you have to stop trying to convince him.

The only way it will EVER happen is by showing him. Doesn’t have to be in a pushy way. Doesn’t have to be by making a song and dance about it. But it DOES have to be by embodying what you believe, and even then? Some people just can’t be won around. That’s just how it is.

What you may see as exciting, empowering, motivating and most of all as a way of life you simply have no CHOICE but to embrace, he really does see as head in the clouds delusion type stuff and also? It scares him.

He wants stability.

Certainty.

Not just of money, but of time, of the way life works, and of YOU.

Maybe he doesn’t quite want a Stepford wife, and I’ll be there’s a big part of him that is with you because you’re such a damn strong and independent woman but that doesn’t mean he has to love the way you express it all the time!

And here’s the real truth. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. Because if you want to get to YOUR dreams then you honestly should not give a you-know-what about what anyone else thinks about them, INCLUDING your partner.

Husband hate mail can be addressed to kat@thekatrinaruthshow.com.

I’m not telling you to be disrespectful.

I’m not telling you to opt out of your joint life.

But this? This is NOT your joint life, this part is about YOUR life. And either your dreams are big enough for you to follow them regardless of what ANYONE else thinks, because you know in your heart of hearts that you MUST?

Or they’re not.

Your partner is not your coach.

Your partner is not your entrepreneurially minded new BFF.

Your partner is not one of the women in your mastermind.

Your partner does not GET it and possibly does not WANT to get it right now, and so the fact that you’re trying to make him? Is downright ridiculous. I mean seriously – do YOU fully believe in and ‘get’ the importance of his favourite sport/hobby/whatever? Or do you think he’s just a little over the top and silly about something that’s actually not such a big deal after all?

Mmmkay then.

So here’s the thing.

If you’re going to do this, and for real, here’s your survive your relationship guide –

Share loosely about your dreams and goals. Sharing the big picture will scare and also annoy him and will lead to fights. Big ones. Slowly slowly, okay? Baby steps.

Let him SEE your excitement and what you’re achieving, and let HIM eventually ask about it and how it’s going. Which he will. For me it took about 5 years. Hopefully it takes less for you.

Resist the urge to tell him EVERY new idea you have. What we as ass-kicking women entrepreneurs know demonstrates that you are in exactly the right place and in fact BORN for this, he sees as you being fickle, can’t make your mind up, certain to waste time and money.

Pick your battles. You want to invest $10,000 in a coaching program then (as one of my ?‪#‎richchickmastermind‬? girls recently said … ) maybe have some hot sex before you bring THAT up. Yeah … I said it … !! But also, have a really good think about whether you want someone else to be in charge of whether or not YOU get to invest money in your dreams. Personally I’ve always gone with the approach of asking for forgiveness later (well, really I just tell how it is later!) rather than permission in advance. I have NEVER let anybody else’s opinion impact whether or not I will move forward in my business. This is MY business. My life. I KNOW my vision for my future and I’ll be damned if I have to ask for permission to achieve it. Yep, I’m pretty selfish that way. We’ve already spoken about that.

Don’t kid yourself that the stories of overcoming and achieving that you find so exciting to read about will excite him and bring him round. He will more likely consider them equivalent to a story about someone winning the lottery than to a ‘if she did it then so can I’ story.

Go easy on the manifest/create your dream life talk. You’ve got friends, right? Hopefully ones who think like you? Use THEM for that.

Respect and honour his right to let his life play out (at least for now haha!) the way he feels it should. The job, the mortgage, the plans, whatever. Honour where he is at on his journey. You got to where you are because maybe you were just born that way, but because you also actively cultivate it, right? You didn’t get bashed over the head and told to just believe.

And lastly – and most of all – if you don’t want to actually find yourself SAYING ‘screw you and your opinion’ then you can keep at least SOME of your own opinions to yourself for now. Your partner is there to be your partner. If you need a coach, get a coach. You need a mentor, get a mentor. You need friends who think like you, who will push you to be your best, celebrate your wins and not use your flops as warnings of doom or “I told you so’s”, then get some friends like that!

This is your life beautiful.

Your business.

Your dreams.

Your vision.

And yes you GET to choose, but also yes. You HAVE to choose. Either you’re in, or you’re out. And if you’re in, well then you know what to do.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

Rebel.
Upstart.
Fuck the system; screw the rules.
Won’t do what they told me.
Too much.
Unreasonable.
Ridiculous.
Unprofessional.
Crazy!

Should I go on? I could, but I think you get the picture.

You’re the one who is not only not like the other PEOPLE, you’re also not like the other entrepreneurs.

They, they actually think they’re different; non-conformists?! Don’t make me laugh. You and I both see it as it is:

They just wanna be told how to build a pretty little website and a pretty little social media page or three and a pretty little online product or course and get their pretty little headshots and do a pretty little pre-scripted dance all over the internet so that other equally pretty fucking bland and boring and same same-y peoples pay them money,

And they can all sit in a pretty little womans circle together patting each other linking elbows and stroking each others hair and singing Kumbaya as the sun sets over another day of sinking ever deeper into the unremarkableness that is their lives.

They are the ones who are not only willing to jump through hoops, they also want to build more hoops for other people; they want to perpetuate the hoop jumping life and their whole sales pitch is basically some version of “I will help you to have a better and shinier hoop, come see!”

lolol

BUT REALLY.

Meanwhile, you –

You’ve tried the hoop-jumping life, maybe more than what you care to admit. And, whilst you’ve nothing against sitting around with other ladeez and stroking each others hair, you and your girls; the real ones?

You don’t exactly fit in in the typical woman’s circle.

You don’t feel at home with the pretty-preneurs, not even on the internet let alone in real life.

You don’t actually GIVE a fuck about having all your shit perfect,

Polished,

And just so –

And the idea of having sales and marketing and content processes which you have to systematically pre-plan and then work through and endlessly join dots with?

Makes you want to hurl.

Sure –

You’ve bought in at times to do the idea that maybe you DO gotta do it as they say.

An automated webinar, perhaps?? Facebook ads which carefully and smartly tell the world who you are and how you can help? A sales plan proven and tested by the greats. The gradual sinking slow decline of your soul, your joy, your dreams, and even your pussy as everything within you that once knew she could HAVE IT ALL AND DO LIFE HER WAY SLOWLY DRIES,

WITHERS TO NOTHING,

AND DIES?

Sure –

Why not

And look.

It’s not that any of these things are bad or wrong. Maybe right now you’ve got to a certain point by playing by the rules … kind of. Following what ‘logic’ suggests you do. Breaking free here and there with wild little jaunts into over the top madness, noticing how THAT lights you up and also how people respond to it … but ultimately continuing to go back to trying to find the right fucking system to get you to where you want to go,

Because this thing of trying to just be you interspersed with trying to get it all right and make it work, well –

It’s God damn tiring –

But also, in the end, if we’re going to be black and white about it, it hasn’t got you to where you want to be!!

You KNOW you should be making SO much more money.

NOW.

With consistency, and yeah, while of course of COURSE you’re down for doing the work, you also feel like it SHOULD be a lot easier, more flow

And you know that you know that you know that you’ve still not let out the most unrestrained and fully expressed side of you!

– The you they can’t look away from
– The you they are MAGNETIZED by
– The you who automatically commands a huge freakin’ following, and sales to match it

You know who I’m talking about –

THE MILLIONAIRE REBEL YOU!

Starting January 18th!

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

The revolutionary fucking leader who tears SHREDS off of normal every damn day before the rest of the world has barely sipped its coffee!

Who is FULLY unleashed in what she says, how she shows up, how she does business, how she does life.

Who does not give a fuck about following rules! Or sales systems! Or strategies! Who can and will do what works for HER, and if it happens to resemble other ways people build an audience and make a fuckload of money online, cool, and if not, so what! That is not the point! The point is –

She knows what works for her.
She backs herself unapologetically.
She DOES it.

And she gets the damn results. The BIG results. The CONSISTENT results. The FUCK yes results, not just with money but with the VIBERY of it all.

Imagine …

Waking up every day and KNOWING you have crushed the day before it already begun because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ROLL!

* Your shit sells (at any and all price point)
* Your creativity and inner ideas machine flows endlessly (you always know what to put out into the world and that when you speak people PAUSE EVERYTHING AND LISTEN, whether it is with free content and shenaniganery or with your paid stuff)
* You don’t even have to think about low end or high end or how to take people through a value ladder or some such bullshit, the value ladder is YOU CONTINUING TO BE YOU, and the more that you DO you the more people just take themselves through whatever it is you’re offering!
* It is easy, natural, fun, and OBVIOUS how to build your automated income, funnels, the ‘cash machine’ side of your business.
* In fact the whole damn thing feels fun and easy and like you’re just being you (the full on you, the too much you, the rebel you, the fuck all of ’em THIS IS WHAT I STAND FOR AND NOW I’M GONNA TELL YOU you!),
* and at the same time you have the DEEPLY grounded and certain knowledge that the way you’re doing it, hot mess and chaos vibes and all, is WORKING. PS – the reason you feel certain of this is because your bank balance and soulmate audience and their feedback reflects it, not bc your spirit guides told you it’s coming

All of this is ALREADY available to you.

It is who you are and what you were born for.

You did not come here for normal!

You are one of the truly crazy ones, who has something inside of her that will leave the world BREATHLESS –
and allow her to make millions and impact millions –

BUT NOT IF SHE CONTINUES TO DO BUSINESS AND LIFE BY TRYING TO SOMEHOW BE A NON-CONFORMIST WHO CONTINUALLY CAVES AND CONFORMS.

For this to work,

REALLY work, like next next NEXT level $ and life flow work,
you’re going to need to FULLY turn your back on the idea that your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of you adjusting, filtering, compromising, playing the game the way the other entrepreneurs are playing it, or worrying about what the fuck your social media looks like!

What you’re going to need to do is simple:

FLICK THE DAMN REBEL MILLIONAIRE SWITCH BABY.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

All in on madness.
All in on crazy.
All in on chaos.
All in on the TRUE epic awesome ridiculousness and too much-ness of YOU.

REBEL MILLIONAIRE

Starting January 18th!

For those who were born to run the damn thing,

To turn the world on its head and dance on top of it,

And who are ready to do just that.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/