Everybody likes to say, I’ve been known to say it myself over and over again, and also to sagely affirm it TO myself and my besties, a nice little reassuring cup-of-warm-tea-to-the-soul reminder to make us all feel schnuggly and warm –

“You can’t fuck it up with your soulmate people!”

Ahhh, feels so good to hear, doesn’t it?

So safe!

So COSY making. Vibes of rainbows and unicorns and marshmallows, oh my!

And it’s a lovely THEORY, it’s also a theory that makes sense and is indeed real and true, or CAN be, but let’s just step back for a little minute and examine what it is about this idea that makes it so valid.

It’s all hinged on the idea that WHEN YOU JUST BE YOU, it’s not possible to fuck it up with your soulmate people.

Even if you say stuff that is wildly off script, as far as whatever is considered appropriate client / date / friend / whoever interaction –

Even if you are offensive, or polarising –

Even if you embarrass yourself –

Certainly if you reveal the most raw and vulnerable parts of yourself –

And so on!

The CONCEPT which we’re all so attracted to, because it IS a breath of fresh air to think that we don’t have to worry about how to show up, in order to have the relationships we want, is that there is NO PART OF OUR TRUE SELF which can scare a soulmate person away, that no matter what we do or don’t do, the connection is there, and it’s one which is unbreakable!

Again –





Just a little bit of a big ass freaking but!


#omg #gamechanger #fuck #duhgirlyoualreadyknowthat (but are you living it?)

Here’s the thing, okay –

There are no levels of being fully you.

It’s a black and white sort of thing, you can’t be ‘half’ being fully you, or kinda, or almost. It’s like being Christian, or pregnant. These are finite things. You are or you are not, which is it?

Most of us, when it comes to the ‘being fully who we are‘ thang, nail it better in some areas than others. So maybe you feel like you’re TOTALLY you with your closest friends and fam (I would hope so!), but not QUITE with your business associates, or potential clients … maybe a little more so with your longer term clients … and then dating is a whole ‘nother game entirely … never mind the ‘you’ who shows up when you, let’s say, go to an event or any sort of gathering where there are people you want to impress, or be accepted or ‘seen’ by.

Random personalities and wildly differing versions of you all over the place!

Think about it –

The areas of your life where you are easily and ‘fully’ you are the ones where things flow the easiest, and it just works!

You feel safe.
You feel seen.
You feel loved.
You fully EXPRESS.
And, the better it gets the better it gets and keeps on getting!

Whereas the ones where you hold back, either because you think you have to, it’s professional or ‘right’, or because you’re scared of something, isn’t it true that things feel uphill?!

It’s like walking on eggshells in many regards –

Decisions feel sticky and tricky and drawn out and a bit painful to make, and even once made come fraught with worries and ‘what ifs’ –

And, no matter how ‘pretty good’ it gets, you never seem to QUITE have what you want, and to top it off, everytime it gets close you go into some kind of panic-response, however mild, about whether or not you’re gonna be able to keep it, or ever were worthy of it in the first place!

Talk about exhausting. Yet this is how most people live in MOST PARTS OF THEIR LIFE. No wonder so many driven folks carry around continual or frequent anxiety, mild or worse depression, nervousness, and find themselves turning to various forms of numbing or pushing down or bingeing in order to ‘cope’!

Clearly there are multiple reasons to QUIT BEING ANYTHING OTHER THAN ALL OF YOU.

But here is perhaps one of the greatest of all –

Despite what they say, you ABSOLUTELY CAN SCREW IT UP WITH YOUR SOULMATE PEOPLE, in that if you are being a filtered you, a masked you, a careful you, aka NOT you, then they won’t even SEE you.

And while the connection might, and does, exist already energetically, because we were ALWAYS bonded to our soulmate peeps, that doesn’t mean you will ever draw on it in the physical realm.

In fact, you can very easily spend your entire life NEVER calling or allowing in soulmate lovers, clients, or even friends in the physical realm simply because you never give in to fully being you.

You might know, indeed believe with every cell in your body, that you are meant to mentor THIS sort of woman –

Date THAT sort of man –

Have THESE sorts of friends –

You feel it, you believe it, you walk around saying ‘it’s done!’ –

But it will NEVER be done if you continue to choose to be a safe ass scaredy-cat version of you.

See, the people who are YOUR badass soul people, they don’t do ordinary.

They don’t do what is EXPECTED.

And they don’t magnetize to fear.

DO YOU, at your core?

So why would they?

So here’s the thing, yeah?

You can have it all, now, on your terms, and then some. YOU WERE BORN FOR IT, and ‘it’ absolutely includes the ONLY fuck yes relationships you long for, and know are divined!

You can have it with ease, also, and where you NEVER need to worry about screwing it up. You get to just let it all hang out, every damn day, say and think and share and show up with exactly whatever the fuck pops out of you. The crazier or messier or more random or just bold in your face audaciously YOU, the better!

But there is a catch, or a condition, if you will. It’s simple, it’s to the point, it’s actually just a damn choice, and not hard at all once you realise that, it’s a thing to act FROM, and now, not towards, and it’s also something that most people will NEVER EVER DO.

Fear got ’em by the short and curlies long ago, and they kind of like it.

The thing is, you’d have to be a next level idiot to believe that it’s possible to have it all, on your terms, by being fully you, if you refuse to be fully you.

So today –

Look around at the areas where you hide out, play small, MASK, refuse to be who and what you know you ultimately WILL be, as that most expressed badass confident AF version of you –


Or quit moaning that it’s so damn hard to get great clients, a great man, great friends, or a great life.

You’re in the drivers seat.
Always have been.
And the road you’re traveling down is the exact fucking one you decided to be on.


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