I FOLLOW THE WAY I ALREADY KNOW
Lately I’ve been in what feels like an almost TOO heavy season of walking away from things.
I’ve been breaking commitments.
Cutting chords and ties.
Saying no where I had previously said ‘I’ll think about it’, or ‘maybe’, or ‘let’s see; let me tune in on that’.
Canceling plans and upheaving schedules.
Basically causing a little bit of havoc everywhere I go!
It’s not a comfortable season to be in, or a particularly fun one, although I FULLY believe that all of these choices are the right ones for ALL parties concerned. Alignment always is …
Yet still –
I feel like I’m letting people down.
I feel like in some cases people are pissed at me (well, in some cases I know they are ’cause they told me!).
I’ve been accused of being selfish, and ‘always putting myself first’, even ahead of things that ‘should’ matter more.
I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I’m just not giving it enough time to ‘really see’.
And there’s a part of me which questions whether I DO know my own mind, on these things or anything, and maybe I’m just indecisive and flaky as fuck!
It’s confronting, it’s awkward, it feels heavy, and I can’t help but sigh a little at times as I wonder –
When will I stop saying yes to things I already knew, deep down, were a no?
Of course in the moment it never feels so simple, does it?
As I’m sure is the same with you, I would never CONSCIOUSLY act against gut, and intuition.
But sometimes fear is wily, self-doubt is underhanded as fuck, and it gets the better of you. You genuinely feel, in that reactive moment, that something IS worth considering, going against your normal pathway for, and that ‘maybe it’s for your growth?’
I’ll bet you can think of more than a few in-the-end-futile pursuits you’ve embarked upon in business, for example, because your logical mind told you that you ‘didn’t know what you don’t know’, and that if something felt awkward, uncomfortable, ‘ugh’ or scary, that maybe it was just because you needed to learn HOW, or build the damn habit or something, or simply that other people who are supposedly further along than you surely know better and you should be a good student and learn from them!
This sort of mindset is precisely why incredible purpose-driven messengers, leaders and artists try to box themselves in and follow some kind of money makin’ STRATEGY rather than simply fling things out from soul. They assume that the answers are OUTSIDE of them, and need to be learned.
Eventually of course, those of us who are truly called to live a life less ordinary and also empower OTHERS to live from soul do find our way home, in all areas, and when we do, it’s smack ya in the face obvious what the pathway is we must follow:
The way we already knew.
We might laugh at ourselves, or bemoan how much time we’ve wasted or how silly we were (not very purposeful to beat up on yourself just FYI!), or wonder how on earth we didn’t see what was so clear, why we weren’t willing to back ourselves, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?
We get there in the end, and ‘there’ is of course no other place except for the exact damn place we knew about since the very beginning.
The place where we say ‘fuck the rules’, and follow soul when it makes ZERO sense.
The place where, even if we still believed (and we really do NOT) that following strategy would get us somewhere we NO LONGER CARE.
You no longer have a voice.
I choose now to trust.
I choose now to wait on CERTAIN alignment, because there is no other kind.
I choose to walk away from anything which is not HELL YES, even if it leaves me in a scary void and I don’t know how long I’ll just be free-falling before I’m caught.
I think that the further you go down the pathway of following your heart, of backing what you always knew, of TRUSTING in inner guidance, the more adept you become at identifying the tiniest of ways in which you are acting against soul.
For that reason, the entire thing is a never-ending process, one you will continue with for life, of adjusting, of fine-tuning, and of dialling it in.
But make no mistake –
Now matter how much you already know and live by this stuff, you are still gonna be human as fuck from time to time (nothin’ wrong with that!) and you will make choices which, in retrospect if not sooner, appear BIZARRE in terms of how you normally show up.
You’ll wonder what on earth you were thinking, but really –
Sometimes we need to step OFF the path in order to be reminded how damn important staying on the path is, and creating it as we go, no matter the so-called cost.
Maybe, this is exactly how you get to unlock the next level.
Bit by bit discarding the things which, while you may entertain them for a bit, ultimately show themselves to not be part of the sculpture you are gradually chipping away to reveal, the masterpiece that is you being fully you, and living your life the only way it ever could be, in the end.
For me, when I feel confused, or deflated, or worried, about any of these things, there is a simple process I go through to empower myself back to core connectedness, and aligned action.
– I forgive myself for any choices I could otherwise label as foolish, odd, etc
– I remind myself that I ALWAYS make the right decision, and so, even if I can’t see how right now, there is a powerful lesson here for my highest good and growth
– I find the damn lesson, simply by asking, or by getting into soft curiosity, light-heartedness, removing any shame or blame or frustration emotion because how does THAT help?
– I remind myself that in the end EVERY successful outcome in my life came about from following the pathway I already knew, and so WHAT IS IT I KNOW HERE WHICH PERHAPS I’M TRYING TO PRETEND I DON’T?
– And speaking of pretending, why would THAT be necessary? What is it I actually am looking for, and how can I give myself that in an ALIGNED way?
Always, it comes back to trust.
Failing to trust that being patient will pay off.
Failing to trust in abundance.
Failing to trust that what you see inside of you is real, is available, is available now, and for you, and that if you HOLD THE DAMN VISION then it has to show up, and it will show up in a way that feels RIGHT; you don’t need to latch on to random shit out of FOMO of missing out
All of life, if you think about it, is an exercise in trust, and an exercise in REMEMBERING.
Remembering what you always knew.
Remembering the way you ALWAYS knew it would play out.
Remembering the whispers of your soul and highest self, which you tried to make foolish, silly, or say ‘can’t be real’.
I can tell you –
When the money shows up
When the soulmate person shows up
When the soul aligned empire is built
When your soulmate LIFE is playing like a full colour movie in front of you all day every day –
It will be EXACTLY AS AND FROM AND BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU ALWAYS KNEW.
You will say –
You know this 🙂
Which means that right now, there’s only one thing for you to do, isn’t there?
Decide for how much freaking longer you’re planning on following a pathway which is NOT THE ONE IN YOU.
Really what you’re deciding is for how much longer you’re going to refuse to live in trust.
And let’s say that doing so could actually get you ANYTHING of note …
You can build the most beautiful fucking house in the world.
But if it’s not the one of your dreams –
What is even the point?
And hold the motherfucking vision.
After all …
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.