INDULGING THE FEAR MIND VERSUS UNLOCKING CREATIVE FLOW —> YOU CAN’T DO BOTH

The fear mind will tell you it needs you, it wants you, it’s so hungry for you, it lusts after you so furiously that it’s almost attractive, and it will whisper to you, slowly, seductively, lovingly, and tell you –

You need me too.

You need me, I make you comfortable, I keep you sheltered, I keep you safe, we can dance together and sway together here where we’ve always been,

In the tunnels and drains and darkness, away from the light, away from expansion, away from all of that unKNOWN.

The unknown is scary! And it’s bad! And it’s wrong! You don’t need it, you need ME!

The fear mind is greedy. It is demanding. It wants ALL of you and it refuses to give up even a piece.

Oh, so you’d try to have something to lean on OTHER than me?

NO! You CAN’T! I WON’T ALLOW IT! It’s me and ONLY me, turn away from me and I will leave you and I will DESTROY you.

And it will rage, it will rear up, its anger making your heart beat fast and your eyes glaze over and a light sweat break out as the panic sets in, just a little at first, but enough to make you wonder –

CAN I live without this?
WILL I be okay?
If I launch myself free of all of the doubts, all of the fears, all of the USUAL

Ways of doing
And thinking
And believing
And even breathing

WHO WILL I BE WITHOUT ALL OF THAT AND WHERE WILL I GO AND WHAT –

Will become of me?!

I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t DO it!

And you peer over the edge,
Where you KNOW you must leap,
And it just looks SO far down,
SO scary,
SO treacherous,
And so.
much.
unknown.

You turn over your shoulder, you take just a peek, and fear is there,

Where it’s always been

Where you’ve always known you could depend on it

Tapping its foot and tilting its head and rolling its eyes just a little and reminding you –

YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO IT WITHOUT ME, DO YOU?

Of COURSE you’re going to turn back to me!
It’s always BEEN the two of us, don’t kid yourself you’ll ever leave.

Smug bitch…

And what is funny what is awful what is hilarious what is TERRIBLE is that even as you turn back,

Even as you step away rather than leap,

Even as you shrink back down to where you know how to be,

Your heart your soul your spirit your SELF

Is SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING at you,

And it hurts so damn LOUD, STOP fucking screaming, my EARS

So you cover them
And you close your eyes tight
And you quickly quickly quickly find a way to numb
To mask
To hide
To forget

Lost, once again, in the nothing and the everything of the fear,

And your pain.

Yet knowing,
No matter how far you run and how much you mask,

THIS IS NOT HOW IT’S MEANT TO BE.

I am CHOOSING to be weak.

I am CHOOSING to say no to soul, to heart, to creativity, to purpose, to destiny, to ART.

I am choosing,

To deny,

My SELF.

And you go to bed at night,
And move through your day,
Trying so damn hard to convince yourself you have no choice, this is how it has to be, it just IS,

The whole entire time knowing with absolute certainty that NOPE babe –

It’s just a choice.

I’m choosing.
Choosing.
Choosing.
To be ruled by fear.
And to turn off flow.

And here is what is funniest of all –

For all of the fear,
All of the pain,
All of the struggle, and the way you feel SO ensnared, SO trapped, SO bound, SO unknowing of what to do,

There is only one thing needed, for you to unlock creative flow and step into all of you, KILLING the power the fear mind has over you.

All you need to do –

All you EVER needed to do –

All you STILL need to do –

Is DO IT FUCKING ANYWAY.

Fear will always be there, it’s a part of who we all are, and you GET to experience every emotion on the spectrum, but FEAR.CAN.NOT.RULE YOU, unless you ALLOW it to.

Success is simple –

You feel the damn fear.
You listen, if you insist, to what it has to say.
You consider it deeply, even (although I don’t know why!)
And then you say THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND YOUR ATTEMPTS TO ROB ME OF MY LIFE BUT ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY –

I’m gonna do it anyway.

So STFU.

Or carry on if you must, I don’t care!

But either way,
Regardless,
For the rest of my life,
And EVERY damn day in every way,

I’LL JUST BE DOING IT ANYWAY.

That is how an empire is built.
How a dream body is created.
How relationships become ONLY fuck yes.
How your LIFE is on purpose.

You just do it anyway.

Not knowing how.
Not ‘feeling’ it.
Taunted, even, by ideas of not being worthy.
Repeatedly choosing to do it ANYWAY until it becomes your norm,

Just who you are,

And the world looks at you and wonders how it can be like you, when all you ever did was just press fucking play without feeling ready, without knowing how, and without having ANY proof at all that you’re good enough.

Stop making it so complicated.

You’re either doing the damn thing and you, through your daily actions and habits and CHOSEN beliefs and thoughts are becoming the you who you’ve always known you can be, or?

You’re living a life of bullshit.

Just remember, whichever you choose for today –

 

 

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