Success/Success Mindset


Can I tell you something? This is not going to be one of my usual pep-you-up let’s focus on being all FIRED up sort of missives. This is honesty time. The brutal raw truth which nobody really wants to talk about, because if you talk about it you’re somehow admitting to weakness or some nonsense which is actually SO not true.

And look, maybe this is not for you right now, or even at all. Feel free to SKIP RIGHT PAST! The message is only ever for who it is for.

But I know for sure that somebody needs to hear this. So let’s lay it down. NO HOLDS BARRED, WHAT ELSE?

I know you’re tired of this game sometimes.

Sometimes SO freaking tired of it that you don’t even know if you can be bothered to keep going for another MINUTE, or if maybe you should just strip it all back, stop concerning yourself with scaling or growing or building a THING, or else finally pursue that dream of opening your own bookstore on the beach … maybe a small ecomm business? Ha, let’s not pretend you’d do anything except for start exploding an ecomm empire AND a bookstore empire at the same time. In an era where bookstores are supposedly dead, no less!

But I get it. There’s a certain type of fatigue which sets in for pretty much every entrepreneur and leader at some point, even those who were most born for it. Perhaps especially those most born for it, because we know the standard we SHOULD be playing at and we just … don’t have it in us to opt out of being who we came here to be.

We are the ones who, since as long as we can remember, have naturally worked, created, dug in, TAPPED in, SEEN a different path and then unapologetically taken it. If you’re highly creative as well as a natural leader & entrepreneur you’ve no doubt got a string of ‘what even was that’ concoctions trailing behind you, some having born fruit, some having fallen by the wayside, most having ‘really really REALLY!’ in your head been the thing which at THAT point in time you believed would change everything.

If you’ve been in the online space for more than a minute you’ve probably got a string of ideas and offers trailing behind you in THIS space, again – some more successful than others, and likely – some more YOU than others.

Because here is what is one of the realest things about the online entrepreneur space. Specifically for the leaders and messengers, although I’m sure it’s equally true in e-commerce or in the influencer world.

And that is this:

The longer you’ve been doing this thing the higher the chance that you’ve unwittingly absorbed a whole bunch of other PEOPLE’S ideas of who you should be,

and how it should be.

Now possibly –

you’ve been doing it SO long, or you simply are naturally THAT kind of ‘looks past it all and just does her’ sort of woman, that you’ve sailed smoothly past all the BS and sashayed ever further down your OWN true and right path, and if that’s the case – NICE WORK. Even then, I’d say you get tired sometimes of the repetitiveness of it all.

But for most people reading this … because for most people who are people … the fatigue which sets in is a simple product of the fact that you are STILL, yes despite what you likely teach, preach, and believe, playing a game of ‘this is who I have to be’.

This is who I have to be in order to be seen.
This is who I have to be in order to be heard.
This is who I have to be to stand out.
This is who I have to be to REALLY be free with money.
This is who I have to be to really attract the right clients.
This is who I have to be to EARN MY PLACE.
This is who I have to be to be SAFE.
This is who I have to be FREE.

You can pretend all you like that you truly pave your own way, and look – there’s a rare few people out there who actually fully do – but the reality I KNOW you need to hear is that it’s NOT.JUST.YOU. who struggles with this.

For well over a decade now my clients online have been millionaires and multi-millionaires, with TRULY game-changing and purpose driven brands, and I can tell you that ALL of them in some way have battled this stuff. Yes many of them SHED this stuff as they grew … that’s kind of the point of what I do … but also?

The reality of being human is that we DO naturally look around. Notice. And start to wonder, or wonder again, whether or not we ‘should’.

It’s okay. There is nothing to feel BAD about here!

But what is important is to pause now and again, take stock, and not be afraid to admit:

This is not what I wanted it to be.

Sure, maybe it’s not GOD AWFUL, and realistically … if you’re making ANY amount of income or impact online you’re absolutely living the dream as far as how most people out there live, or see income potential … but none of that means you need to shut up and put up with a reality which is simply not the all in thing that it’s meant to be about for YOU.

Because no matter how ‘cool’ your brand is, no matter even how much it’s serving and helping people, and certainly no matter how much money it is making or not making, sustaining or not sustaining, in the end it’s VERY black and white and VERY very simple:

This thing is either the exact freakin’ thing that YOU came here to do, in the way that is right now TRUE for you, or?

It’s not.

If you are continually half tired.
If you continually need to hype yourself to be ‘on’.
If you’re running a constant inside your head cheer squad sort of a situation.
If you feel like it’s all SO SO FUN AND AWESOME BABY while you’re pumping stuff out or pushing yourself or DOING a thing, but then you feel exhausted / anxious or just SAD when all is quiet and it’s just you and your thoughts, with God tapping at your shoulder to remind you that THIS AIN’T IT, then sister?

There is a good chance that what you’re doing ain’t it.

And possibly not really at all.

It is SO important to understand that a) this doesn’t mean that what you ARE doing is a waste, or needs to completely go, or sucks, but also b)

you get to live the actual life that you came here to live.

If you were born to coach, COACH.
If you were born to hype it up and make vibey videos on social media, DO it.
If you were born to cheer a squad of like-minded aspirational hot rich online QUEENS on as you all rise together, GO for it.
If you were born to be the person who figures out and then nails the latest thang before anybody else even heard of it, EPIC!
If you were born to be an entrepreneur or leader within the framework of how EVERYBODY IS ENTREPRENEUR-ING AND LEADING then GO YOU GOOD THING GO.

But if you didn’t come here to DO any of that,

or at least not in the way you have been,

then why are you continuing?

And why are you telling yourself a story that you can’t afford to just WALK STRAIGHT OFF NOT ONLY THE WHOLE RIDE BUT THE ENTIRE FREAKING THEME PARK,

and into a land where you simply quietly,
or loudly and hilariously and magnetically but in a way which is actually fully YOU,

just do the thing you came here to do?

Do you get that if you’d never heard of any of it, and never agreed to get on the ride of ‘this is how business and leadership looks’ then you still would have figure it out?

Do you get that you have a message, and a way of seeing things and expressing them which transcends trends AND rules?

Do you get that there is a particular thing YOU came here to do and also to unleash THROUGH you which just …

would build
would grow
would take on a life force
of its own
if only you let it?

My heart honestly breaks when I think about this stuff. My heart breaks for the version of ME who spent so long thinking that the road to finally being able to do her writing, speaking, creating the way she was born to was to squish it into containers that the rest of the ‘net was working with.

And my heart breaks for all the incredible women, entrepreneurs, BORN for it way-makers who I see in my space eagerly jumping through whichever hoops is put in front of them like (sorry) puppies learning to roll over for a snack.


I promise!

What’s devastating is we are not TALKING about girls.

We’re talking about grown.powerful.WOMEN who came here to leave a mark on the world and to pave a way which only they COULD who are more concerned with how they’re being viewed or seen on Instagram or how they’re stacking up against all the other rich bish online queens when the truth is …

they don’t even actually care about it.

NO NEED TO REMIND ME I’VE BEEN THIS PERSON TOO. I am fully aware of that. It’s also why it breaks me so much!


I LOVE when I see someone vibing it up all sassy like as that latest and greatest online queen when that is truly who the are! I am ALL for it, and it makes me smile and celebrate whoever that woman is every time! In many cases they have been clients of mine, or clients OF my clients, or women who were in my group courses a few years ago and now I’m watching them TAKE THE STAGE AS THEY SHOULD.

I love it!

But I’m talking right now to a particular kind of woman.

If you are she, yes you are charismatic, magnetic, attractive, and YES MAMA YOU CAN TAKE A STAGE.

But at this point …

you really couldn’t give a flying ____ about being the hottest big or new thing.


And you are aware that as much as you keep trying to opt out of it … you somehow keep defaulting to concerning yourself with what everybody else is doing, and which latest training or bootcamp or masterclass or whatever ‘everybody’ is jumping on.


But inside, you feel sick to your stomach because once again you’re not just ripping the bandaid and going STRAIGHT TO THE TOP WHERE YOU BELONG. By ‘top’ I mean – the fullness of what YOU came here to do. That’s it. And it’s not about ANYBODY else.

You get that the online world is a fishbowl, yeah?

There is a reason you’ve always aligned with those images of the fish that jumped out of the bowl.

The thing with the online space is –

everybody thinks that they are the one that jumped out.

And yeah, if we’re talking of the normal world that’s true.

But in most cases –

you just jumped into a different bowl, and now you’re wondering why no matter how much you push to grow the thing or do a thing or be a thing it just.don’t.FEEL.right.

Can I tell you?

It’s because the water is KILLING YOU.

Because here is the reality it’s time to now claim:

Some of us just came here with a whole ‘nother blueprint.

And if that’s you –

why don’t you just exit stage left from the whole entire THING?

And why don’t you do it today.


There’s another way. < time to play the actual freaking game.

The one of being you.

Now don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.



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