PATIENCE IS THE SHORTCUT
I know you want everything now, you want it at once, where the fuck IS it, so help me God, I’ll I’ll I’ll … I’ll, okay FINE, I’ll say PLEASE God, but seriously –
Seriously!
I’ve been waiting so long
And where the fuck is it
And what is actually HAPPENING in the world that I should have to wait this long
I’ve been doing the WORK, and I don’t even just mean the work, I mean the WERK, beatch!
I know you think it’s ridiculous
And offensive
And just a little INSOLENT
Of life to not serve you up your everythang
When you show up each day
When you hustle your sweet little tushie off
When you check your list
Check it twice
And then damn well mark everything OFF the bloody thing
You do more than everyone!
(okay, well, fine, if you’re honest you definitely flake out now and then … ahem … no need to actually figure out HOW often … and you may not be being unapologetically ALL of you … it’s possible)
And you know your message is more POWERFUL than most of these so-and-so’s out there
You’ve even got fancy headshots and landing pages and a website, oh my!
^^^ or whatever it is you wanna sub in if what you’re thinking about that you should HAVE by now is the hot body you want, the man you need, the lifestyle you damn deserve, the freedom, the fun, the flow, WHATEVER it is.
Yes.
You do the things.
And you have, to the best of your ability, made yourself into the thing.
But when you’re still not there.
And the days are so long.
And the nights at times so blatant a reminder of what you do NOT have or are not.
And you feel FROZEN IN OVERWHELM at all there still is to do, and where should you where should you where should you start BEFORE that –
Can I tell you what the answer is, and indeed always was?
Stop.
Press play? No! Press fucking pause.
Stop.
Wait.
Do nothing. Do NOTHING? Yes. Do nothing.
Close the laptop.
Delete the list (bet you don’t dare!).
At the very least put it aside.
As much as you can, discontinue communication with the world for a bit.
And?
WAIT.
Wait for you know not what but you damn sure will know when you know!
Wait until it builds.
And builds.
And builds.
And you let go.
And let go.
And let go.
And bit by bit, the things you thought you HAD to deal with or get done, or that you considered to be TRULY terrible and treacherous, SO bad, and truly valid of ALL THE WORRY AND FEAR, they kind of,
Sort of,
Just fade away.
You still feel maybe a little bit of guilt.
A skerrick of fear.
A flicker of worry, licking up your legs.
Telling you that you can’t stop, you can’t afford to, the answer is to do more, always MORE.
But still you hold.
And hold.
And hold.
And you know you DAMN well won’t fold.
Because you understand how this shit works –
PATIENCE.
is the shortcut.
When you’re scared, patience has the power to dispel that fear. To DI-spell it. To rid you of the spell it has over you, because that’s what it IS.
YOU, the real you, the truest you, YOU DON’T LIVE IN FEAR BABY.
FEAR is not the real you.
It is not part of the core of you.
And it DOES NOT NEED TO HAVE A VOICE.
But here is what else –
You think that the way to ‘get there’, and be ‘done’, and ‘get ahead’, and oh, ‘keep up’, that it’s in the doing and the pushing and the insisting and that if you just throw enough SOMETHING at it all you can just bypass the growth which is the damn work. The becoming, you know?
Well, I don’t put those things in quote marks for no reason. They’re not REAL. And certainly not where you need to be giving your focus.
It’s in the breathing in in that moment of doing nothing.
In the exhale as you realise you have finally grown into being the person who does not act until she is certain.
Who is more than chill AF about waiting til said certainty shows up.
Who fully believes and TRUSTS that the way will be shown to her, that she has nothing to rush for or become frazzled about, because she is ALREADY ENOUGH AND WHOLE NOW.
And that bitch?
Is patient as fuck.
While everybody else is running around like frenetic chooks with their heads cut off, wearing out ALL their energy and spirits and meanwhile getting dizzy as fuck so they don’t even know which way up they are anymore or WHO they are (if they ever knew!), SHE is in the centre,
Gazing out into the future
Eyes clearly on the horizon
Connected to God and self and soul
And waiting
Knowing
Trusting
SURRENDERED TO THE NOW
And one by one as everybody starts to crumble and fall around her, weary to where they no longer can EVEN, she feels something.
A buzz
A tickle
An impossible to ignore little piece of biofeedback from within
The sensation growing stronger
The pressure increasing, in a way that is ONLY exciting and fuck yes
The knowing coming upon her
Until suddenly
with NO warning to anyone outside of her, and only that very little bit to herself,
In ONE FELL SWOOP SHE ACTIVATES ENTIRE FUCKING WORLDS
And as everyone around her looks on in shock at how the FUCK she came out of nowhere and just did THAT –
She calmly blows off any little bits of residue which have settled on her from the tornado she IS
Shakes her hair
Rolls her shoulders back like the regal fucking being she is
AND MOSEYS ON HER WAY.
And that’s all there is to say about that.
Only question is?
Who you gonna be.
That’s all!
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