THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUN FROM PURPOSE
You will feel empty no matter how full your life is, no matter how much you fill yourself up.
You can stuff yourself to the gills with accomplishments, accolades, advancement in every area and every possible way, you can and will become ever more creative and filled with ideas about what you STILL have to achieve, and then get out there and do the work which most would never even consider in order to make that shit happen and yet STILL –
At the end of the day, when the final task is done, and the world is singing your praises and wondering at the awesome that is you, OH –
How lost, how sad, how WEARY, and somehow – infuriatingly! – even on the occasions when you ARE caught up in the celebration and BOOYAH of mad success and doing, STILL underneath it all lingers the certain knowledge that you’re NOT DOING WHAT YOU’RE MEANT TO DO,
Not BEING who you’re meant to be,
And that if you are truly honest with yourself, NONE of this fucking matters.
Not a little bit.
No, not even at all.
The particular gaping and never-ending emptiness which comes from living a life filled with things that can never fill you will result in a desperate and futile and also never-ending attempt to fill yourself in other ways, in the ways of the anxiety and fear-led saboteur.
And so you will eat
And yet still never be full.
Or else you will drink
And find yourself despite the best of intentions and the most desperate of desire to break free, still unable to NOT reach for that glass come sundown, or sooner.
Or else you will binge on porn or on Netflix or on Facebook or on gossip, perhaps the news, perhaps your particular form of ESCAPE FROM PURPOSE is shown in a fastidious attention to detail, in having the tidiest home, in being on top of all of the small little admin-y things, in keeping up with every single God damn note that comes home from school, in who knows what, well YOU know what, and it is something, isn’t it?
Your thing, your private little or not so little way of numbing,
Of pushing down,
Of STUFFING yourself full so that maybe, just maybe, for a moment or so, just the smallest little moment, you can pretend to yourself that everything is okay and that your life is on track.
But regardless how socially acceptable or no your particular form of escape and numbing is, and no matter how loudly you insist you’re living your best life, hashtag SO blessed, you simply cannot,
Have not yet been able to,
Drown out the PLEADING SCREAMING OF YOUR SOUL.
The knowing which cannot be unknown, and which beats a relentless fucking drum through your entire BEING, the physical and the supernatural you, and tells you:
And you KNOW it.
And there is NOTHING, no NOTHING you can find to quell this anxiety, to fill this hole, to ‘save’ you, to fix you, NOTHING is going to take the place of submitting,
With TOTAL surrender,
You know this know this know this! You are MORE than aware already that your attempts to build the highest tower, the grandest empire, the fanciest funnel or most perfect life are all FUTILE if it is not built on the right foundation!
You know that NOTHING can replace simply saying yes to the one thing, the only thing, the YOU thing, that your life has meant to be about.
And you know that really you are being more than a little bit ridiculous about the endless ways you try to fill yourself up, prove yourself, and make yourself good enough, when all of it is just a useless panacea for TRUTH.
For many of you,
You know who you are.
But either way, here is the reality which none of us can deny:
If you don’t have purpose,
You have nothing.
Today this is what God will say to you:
I can tell you from experience, that until you do?
You can be the most filled-up person on the planet and yet STILL YOU WILL NOT BE FULL.
Stop denying it.
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.