“Will you trust me?” I bent over. Fragility rising, already. “Will you trust me?” I took a deep breath. Staring almost zombie-like into my own eyes in the mirror in front of me as I folded forward in the next posture, closing them tight as I lost sight of myself, feeling the almost immediate breaking
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Alignment
For the first time in my life I can truly say I feel free, patient, and surrendered to fully trusting God in the area of relationship. I have zero interest in making a single move which is not of intention in and through HIM. I have been breaking covenants. Severing ties. CALLING, CLAIMING, and CASTING AWAY what is not mine in HIM.
I’m not ‘single and ready to mingle’ … I’m single and happily and obediently UNDER CONSTRUCTION. (I got this concept from @iammiketodd book ‘Relationship Goals’!)
I won’t be dating just for fun and ‘seeing what happens’
I certainly won’t be keeping doors open just in case
I won’t be building out a dating roster to see who rises to the top (a super popular idea in relationship coaching and one I entertained but yet felt GROSS)
I won’t be concerning myself with my feminine polarity / if I’m being woman enough.
I WILL be concerning myself with my identity in God
I’ve surrendered this ENTIRE area back to God, including my sexuality. He owns me. Anyone else who will one day have authority + leadership over me is gonna go through Him!
God has been working on me in this area for years and it’s only become a louder toll over time.
If you’re thinking that whatever God is calling you on will just go away if you ignore it, or that you can overpower it, save yourself the heartache and submit now!
If some part of you knows deep down that this is for you but you’re wondering what it must be like to have my willpower on such a thing … don’t. I don’t.
Remember that the closer you draw to Him the easier and more obvious it becomes to be in faith with OBEDIENCE not false faith with a sense of ‘I’ll just try figure it out myself in case He forgets / doesn’t got it’.
This also means being willing to break covenants. Sever spiritual strongholds. Call things that aren’t right in your life as such. CAST THEM OFF.
And claim what it’s time for.
Yes. There’s plenty of house-keeping to do to walk this path.
But the rewards?
IMMEDIATE.
That’s just how true surrender works.
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