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Success Mindset


I don’t believe in keeping your options open in dating, in business, in life, and today we gonna talk about why, and about how right now you might just be pushing away EVERY thing you want and are meant to have because you refuse to allow space for nothing but that.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about faith, and staying the course, and holding out for but also INSISTING on the actual thing you want, knowing it is done and being unavailable for anything else.

It’s very popular right now (perhaps always? I don’t know) in the relationship coaching space to recommend that, when dating, one – women, especially – should keep their options open.

Date multiple men at once, or at the very least pretend to be doing so.

Popular wisdom (which is always a thing to be dubious of, that goes without saying!) says that this is effective and indeed critical for multiple reasons.

1) You will not accidentally put all your energy onto him, thus showing some sort of obsessive or needy vibe and pushing him away

2) You shouldn’t give a man commitment or exclusivity if he has not ‘earned’ it

3) You don’t know for sure yet if he is your guy so you should keep playing the field ’cause who knows, and besides, even if he is the guy, refer to point #1 re: don’t show him you’re too into him or you’ll lose him

Wanna know what I think, and what I have ALWAYS thought at my core about this, even though I questioned myself and wondered if the ‘experts’ were right, and so I kept playing the game of THINKING I need to play a game?

What I think is simple:


I am here today to draw a line in the sand and say I am NOT here for any of this bullshit.

Every single argument telling you to do life this way is coming from FEAR, and the idea that you just being you might screw it up.

Let’s play this out –

1) So you put all your energy and focus onto a guy, you show you are fully interested in him and are giving 100% of your attention to him, and it scares him off.

Uhhhhhh … anyone? Anyone? Bueller? MAYBE THIS MEANS IT WAS NOT YOUR GUY!

Experts: sure sure, but even if it is your guy being needy and desperate will push him away!

>> okay so don’t be needy and desperate. Deal with THAT part of yourself, don’t feed it by ‘strategising’ to see more people in order to falsely try and mask it! Newsflash: you can be fully interested in a person and also 100% okay with how it plays out one way or the other, knowing that everything is always working out for you precisely as it should be.

If this feels too hard my suggestion (and what I have learned myself) would be to work on trust, on self-belief, on being clear that you always get what you want and it is always ALIGNED.

Which means that if you give full focus to something and it doesn’t work out, cool cool. On with the show.

2) Commitment and exclusivity come when they come, IF it is aligned for both people. But no, you don’t need to hold your OWN commitment out of reach like it’s some sort of prize. I was talking to my Muay Thai trainer Iggy about this today (who is also definitely an amazing life mentor for me), and he said it best:

“That’s like saying I’ll only be kind to you if you be kind to me.”

Be who you ARE. Be a committed person, and let everybody else be who they are. If you give your commitment and don’t receive it in return so what?”

I’ll add to this and say that in general in life when you GIVE from a place of ‘I gotta GET before I give or at least directly after’ you 100% DO NOT SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS.

That’s not what giving, and also BEING (you), is meant to be about.

3) Re: not knowing yet if he is the guy and besides which, if he is, you should keep your attention withdrawn so you keep him interested.

BLEEEUGHHHHHHHHH. Doesn’t it just feel GROSS in your SOUL to think about doing this?

Does it really feel true that you want to look back on an amazing new fuck yes relationship and know that the foundation was you not TRUSTING, either in the possibility of what could be developing, or in your own ENOUGH-ness if you just be you, and that that wouldn’t be a bad thing or a thing which scares him off?

I fully believe and have said for years that you CAN’T SCREW IT UP WITH YOUR SOULMATE PEOPLE.

Not in love.
Not in business.
Not in life.

But here’s where you CAN screw it up:

When you don’t trust
When you operate from a fear mindset
When you are careful not to show all that you are or all that you really think
When you pretend to be something that is not your true soul self, because you’re worried that your true soul self will screw it up!

And most of all:


If I had have ‘kept my options’ open in my BUSINESS there is no way I would EVER have created the from flow multi-million dollar / per year business success I have.

In fact, before I CLOSED off all options rather than the one I believed was ‘meant’, I enjoyed only very limited and never truly ‘deep’ success.

Little bits and pieces here and there –

Nothing that ever really stuck –

And NONE of it the actual thing, which is no small wonder, because I wasn’t giving my all TO the actual thing, honouring and respecting the actual thing!

I was flailing around all over the place, going from here, to there, to the next thing, trying to grasp on to ANYTHING that I could make stick, the whole time, the WHOLE time knowing:


This is not going to be the thing.

The thing it’s going to be is the ONLY thing it’s ever been, that thing inside of me which I know for sure and feel and am currently not CHOOSING to be good enough for, and not choosing to INSIST upon.

When I eliminated all other options, said ‘fuck that shit’, and gave my all to what I believed it should be, within a timeframe so fast it made my head just about spin, my business blew UP.

“Ahhhhhh” say the gooroos of love. “You can’t do that with a person, though! YOU WILL SCARE HIM AWAY!”

Firstly, what is he, a precious fucking baby deer?


And no, the way to move past that is not to try and manufacture a situation where you feel that the practicalities of how you’re showing up reflect not being needy or graspy.

The way to not be needy or graspy is to not be.

And how do you do that?

You connect into that place within where you realise you need nothing, you are complete and whole already, just you and God, and that from that place you of course get to CHOOSE what you desire to call in and add in.

In practice, in my business, how this played out is critical for you to understand:

I didn’t only eliminate all other options. I did that COMBINED with fully releasing / handing over the outcome, meaning I let go of needing to ‘get’ anything.

Of course I wanted to make millions of dollars just doing what I loved and being fully me, writing and speaking only what came through me, fuck ALL the rules and ALL the strategy.

And, I believed I could and would.

But I handed it over. I decided to show up and DO the writing and unleashing and ‘being fully me’ and nothing more and nothing less even if I never made a CENT from it.

I committed that I would do MY bit, no matter whether or not life gave me anything back in return.

I see very clearly now that with love, and being in the relationship of my dreams, it can ONLY be this way.

The idea of looking back on a relationship and saying I got there ’cause I kept my damn OPTIONS open and was careful not to show too much of my interest is GROSS.

If he would do that I would be out in a heartbeat, too.

That’s not how a King shows up, or a Queen. In my opinion.

And also I do not believe that that is where fuck yes love and all the things in this area will come from.

I know I get to have what I dream of, because I ALWAYS DO. So I will show up fully committed to that and SINGLE-MINDED about it as well, giving 100% of my energy and attention and focus to the guy, and being 100% all of me, but also at the same time knowing I am completely fine if it doesn’t turn into ‘the thing’ … because that will just mean that that wasn’t the thing!

But it won’t be an issue of me worrying about scaring someone off by withholding myself, or by showing in a forthright fashion who I am and what I want.

The answer to all of this stuff is simple –

When you look at the choices you’re making in business, in romance, in life –

Are you following faith, or fear?

Faith knows what it wants and deserves.

It knows it is available.

It refuses to BE available for anything else.

It eliminates all other options, and makes space for the thing to come to life.

And it is totally fucking fine either way, because it believes that no matter what it is ON PATH AND MOVING FORWARD.

Quit fucking up your life by listening to the fear-mongering of the 99.99%.

Your soul knows better.

Follow it.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x


Fuck the system; screw the rules.
Won’t do what they told me.
Too much.

Should I go on? I could, but I think you get the picture.

You’re the one who is not only not like the other PEOPLE, you’re also not like the other entrepreneurs.

They, they actually think they’re different; non-conformists?! Don’t make me laugh. You and I both see it as it is:

They just wanna be told how to build a pretty little website and a pretty little social media page or three and a pretty little online product or course and get their pretty little headshots and do a pretty little pre-scripted dance all over the internet so that other equally pretty fucking bland and boring and same same-y peoples pay them money,

And they can all sit in a pretty little womans circle together patting each other linking elbows and stroking each others hair and singing Kumbaya as the sun sets over another day of sinking ever deeper into the unremarkableness that is their lives.

They are the ones who are not only willing to jump through hoops, they also want to build more hoops for other people; they want to perpetuate the hoop jumping life and their whole sales pitch is basically some version of “I will help you to have a better and shinier hoop, come see!”



Meanwhile, you –

You’ve tried the hoop-jumping life, maybe more than what you care to admit. And, whilst you’ve nothing against sitting around with other ladeez and stroking each others hair, you and your girls; the real ones?

You don’t exactly fit in in the typical woman’s circle.

You don’t feel at home with the pretty-preneurs, not even on the internet let alone in real life.

You don’t actually GIVE a fuck about having all your shit perfect,


And just so –

And the idea of having sales and marketing and content processes which you have to systematically pre-plan and then work through and endlessly join dots with?

Makes you want to hurl.

Sure –

You’ve bought in at times to do the idea that maybe you DO gotta do it as they say.

An automated webinar, perhaps?? Facebook ads which carefully and smartly tell the world who you are and how you can help? A sales plan proven and tested by the greats. The gradual sinking slow decline of your soul, your joy, your dreams, and even your pussy as everything within you that once knew she could HAVE IT ALL AND DO LIFE HER WAY SLOWLY DRIES,



Sure –

Why not

And look.

It’s not that any of these things are bad or wrong. Maybe right now you’ve got to a certain point by playing by the rules … kind of. Following what ‘logic’ suggests you do. Breaking free here and there with wild little jaunts into over the top madness, noticing how THAT lights you up and also how people respond to it … but ultimately continuing to go back to trying to find the right fucking system to get you to where you want to go,

Because this thing of trying to just be you interspersed with trying to get it all right and make it work, well –

It’s God damn tiring –

But also, in the end, if we’re going to be black and white about it, it hasn’t got you to where you want to be!!

You KNOW you should be making SO much more money.


With consistency, and yeah, while of course of COURSE you’re down for doing the work, you also feel like it SHOULD be a lot easier, more flow

And you know that you know that you know that you’ve still not let out the most unrestrained and fully expressed side of you!

– The you they can’t look away from
– The you they are MAGNETIZED by
– The you who automatically commands a huge freakin’ following, and sales to match it

You know who I’m talking about –


Starting January 18th!


The revolutionary fucking leader who tears SHREDS off of normal every damn day before the rest of the world has barely sipped its coffee!

Who is FULLY unleashed in what she says, how she shows up, how she does business, how she does life.

Who does not give a fuck about following rules! Or sales systems! Or strategies! Who can and will do what works for HER, and if it happens to resemble other ways people build an audience and make a fuckload of money online, cool, and if not, so what! That is not the point! The point is –

She knows what works for her.
She backs herself unapologetically.
She DOES it.

And she gets the damn results. The BIG results. The CONSISTENT results. The FUCK yes results, not just with money but with the VIBERY of it all.

Imagine …

Waking up every day and KNOWING you have crushed the day before it already begun because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ROLL!

* Your shit sells (at any and all price point)
* Your creativity and inner ideas machine flows endlessly (you always know what to put out into the world and that when you speak people PAUSE EVERYTHING AND LISTEN, whether it is with free content and shenaniganery or with your paid stuff)
* You don’t even have to think about low end or high end or how to take people through a value ladder or some such bullshit, the value ladder is YOU CONTINUING TO BE YOU, and the more that you DO you the more people just take themselves through whatever it is you’re offering!
* It is easy, natural, fun, and OBVIOUS how to build your automated income, funnels, the ‘cash machine’ side of your business.
* In fact the whole damn thing feels fun and easy and like you’re just being you (the full on you, the too much you, the rebel you, the fuck all of ’em THIS IS WHAT I STAND FOR AND NOW I’M GONNA TELL YOU you!),
* and at the same time you have the DEEPLY grounded and certain knowledge that the way you’re doing it, hot mess and chaos vibes and all, is WORKING. PS – the reason you feel certain of this is because your bank balance and soulmate audience and their feedback reflects it, not bc your spirit guides told you it’s coming

All of this is ALREADY available to you.

It is who you are and what you were born for.

You did not come here for normal!

You are one of the truly crazy ones, who has something inside of her that will leave the world BREATHLESS –
and allow her to make millions and impact millions –


For this to work,

REALLY work, like next next NEXT level $ and life flow work,
you’re going to need to FULLY turn your back on the idea that your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of you adjusting, filtering, compromising, playing the game the way the other entrepreneurs are playing it, or worrying about what the fuck your social media looks like!

What you’re going to need to do is simple:



All in on madness.
All in on crazy.
All in on chaos.
All in on the TRUE epic awesome ridiculousness and too much-ness of YOU.


Starting January 18th!

For those who were born to run the damn thing,

To turn the world on its head and dance on top of it,

And who are ready to do just that.