I’M A FAKE & A LIAR & AN ATTENTION-SEEKER, AND MY SOUL IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT
I almost hate to admit this, but the truth is that I don’t care about how I look on Instagram.
I don’t care about my visuals.
I don’t care if my branding is smooth and orderly and everything I put out there properly matches it, is, well, ‘on brand’.
I also don’t care about showing off my life, how glam it is or might be, the fancy stuff I buy or do, the ‘luxe life’ I can choose any time I want because I did that thing, that thing so many want to do, of actually building an online business to multiple millions of dollars a year in CONSISTENT revenue.
I post pretty pictures of myself and I show off my life often enough that all of the above seems maybe a little contradictory. If I don’t care, then why does so much of my marketing and positioning revolve around the surface expressions of being successful, and having money? Why do I have pretty photoshoots done, or take 79 selfies in order to get the right one? (Well, that last one I think is just normal female behaviour on any day ending in ‘y’ haha).
Why?
Well, let’s think about why. And you understand that I am thinking as I write, I’m excavating my own soul whilst at the same time, I hope, stirring yours.
Because I do like looking pretty or hot or whatever, and it does feel good to post that stuff.
Because the lifestyle shiz is real and I want to demonstrate that if I did the thing of going from massively in debt and broke AF to becoming a soul-led multi-millionaire who can buy and have whatever she wants, then so can you.
Because sometimes it’s just fun!
And, let’s be honest, because I, like anybody, am gradually and bit by bit swayed by the need to keep up, look the part, be as ‘whatever’ (cool / beautiful / fancy / stylish / high level, etc) as the other leaders and women of inspiration online. And maybe it works, you know? The stunning photo gets attention and thus my message is read.
This is true. And I want my message to be read. What I want more than ANYTHING, is for what comes out of my soul to find it’s way into yours, and to GRAB you. Shift you. Remind you. And kick your fine AF ass.
I want my message read.
I want my sermons watched.
I want what is channeled through and from me to POUR IT’S WAY IN AND ALL OVER AND RIGHT THROUGH YOU, until you can’t NOT say yes to your soul.
And maybe this is what works! Well, it does work. You wanna stand out on a busy feed where day by day the quality of people’s images and visuals gets more and more SUPER-pro and if you can’t keep up you’ll just blend into the background with your boring ass low vibe look? Then get hot. Get STUNNING. SHINE LIKE A FUCKING DIAMOND! And for the love of God, make sure it’s all on brand, matchy matchy so people come to know it as ‘you’, whilst at the same time of course continually demonstrating ‘this is how incredible my life is and if you follow me then yours can be too!’
So you do this, well I do this, I would say I ATTEMPT to do this, because I don’t think I do an amazing job at it and I’ll say why THAT is in a second, but yeah, I do this, and, well – it works.
When I use an especially stunning or attention worthy photo, that blog gets more engagement.
When I show off any fancy or luxe stuff about me or my life, that shit gets engagement.
When I put it all together with a continual stream of reminders about the level I play it and how ‘you can too’, then people listen. They want that. They want to know how. And they should GET to know, who am I to not tell them how available it is, and how you really CAN have it all?!
So I do it.
Because you CAN have it all!
Because it IS available!
Because I really do live a pretty damn amazing life where I get to do what I want, with who I want, when and where I want, and in the fine ass style I want, and I really do want you to know that you can have that too and girl you DESERVE it!!
All true.
But here is what is also true, and boy, I hate to admit this, but how can I NOT? It’s hardly surprising, we ALL allow these things to impact us, if even not consciously, then insidiously, it’s natural, bit by bit it creeps up on you and you START TO THINK THAT THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM.
I do it to fit in.
I do it to keep up.
I do it to look the part.
I do it to ‘prove’ I am worthy of this self-appointed title of being a leader online.
I do it to act like a proper high-level badass multi-millionaire success coach!!
I do it because bit by bit I just started doing it, it was insidious, natural, it crept up on me, it’s not BAD, it’s not WRONG, it’s about rolling with the turns of the tide and using the tools we have available to the best of our abilities, right? Right??? Right … ?
Hmmm.
But here is the truth.
I’ve been feeling a disconnect lately. An undercurrent, in my marketing and in how I show myself to the world, or perhaps – more accurately – in how I THINK I must show myself to the world – of something being not quite right.
Maybe I’ve felt this for a while, I don’t know. THESE THINGS CREEP UP ON YOU. And nothing I am doing is WRONG, none of it is a lie, it’s all VERY real and true what I wrote above that it DOES inspire / get you to look / and it’s all also real and an accurate reflection of my life.
But yet –
It’s felt like … a mild yet potent sense of my hands being tied. Or perhaps my whole body bound in ropes and chains! Not enough so I can’t move about, get from place to place, do things, but yet clearly still restricting me.
I’ve been conscious that nothing and NOBODY is restricting me of course, if I feel restricted and bound then that is what I am choosing, creating, allowing, for myself.
You know?
I know you know.
And the thing is –
All of that.
None of that.
Not a single bit of that.
If I’m honest –
Reflects what I really fucking care about and what expands my soul.
Nothing makes me more annoyed than when I get comments on a blog I put with an insanely beautiful photo or particularly hot one, and the comment is about my fucking outfit. Or any aspect of how I look.
Yeah yeah, I am appreciative of the compliment, don’t get me wrong. BUT DID YOU READ THE DAMN BLOG BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN’T I WILL PUNCH A BITCH.
And, like I said before, I’m not awesome at any of that side of it anyway. I would say I know how to do a mediocre job of using visuals and branding to grow my brand and to get my message out there more. And I wanna be clear I don’t think it’s wrong to do ANY of that, by the way, but here is how you know if it’s for you and why I know it’s not for ME –
IT DOES NOT EXPAND MY FUCKING SOUL ONE TINY MEASLY LITTLE BIT.
Yes, I feel ‘good’ when my shit looks good.
And yeah of course I want to look hot, beautiful, and so on!
And I guess it’s great my Instagram looks, well, if not totally matchy matchy ‘on brand’ then certainly neater then it once did.
And I definitely do want to inspire you to know you can have any luxe life shiz niz you want!! You go GET that, ’cause I certainly have done so and why would you not?!
But.
It doesn’t light me up for even a millisecond to show that stuff.
It actually annoys me, or maybe saddens me a little bit. And the feeling of frustration or hands being tied is definitely one which I associate with any time I feel my star has risen a little bit ’cause of visuals or ’cause of showing how good my life is. It also HUGELY irritates me to think about this stuff. So I don’t think about it, but yet somehow it is still, to whatever degree, impacting how I show up obviously. And while I can handle doing photoshoots now and then, and I am happy to have hot photos, hmmm … I really find photoshoots a nuisance and an energy drain, they don’t expand me, it’s a ‘should’, so I do ’em for the outcome … and yes, again, I AM happy to have great photos, but the photos which light up my SOUL? Are the ones where I am just being SO.CLEARLY.FULLY.LIT.UP.ME. If I see a great photo of myself looking amazing and I somehow magically fucking managed to nail a decent pose, I am happy about that … happy in that it’s nice to have … it feels like useful content I guess … I dunno. But does it expand me NO FUCKING NO NOT A LITTLE BIT, not unless it happened to be a photo that really caught the essence of me, with my expression or gestures or something random, you know?
Where am I even going with all of this?
Well –
I’m not suggesting for a second I won’t continue to use pretty selfies, photos and so on. And, like anybody, I DO care about likes and engagement and I want to feel good about myself in that regard. And I also do wanna inspire you to have it all and know you can! But, hmmm –
I am sick of my ENERGY going into this stuff. Even a little bit. Even 0.001 seconds a week!
Whilst I have let it creep up and become ‘part of me’ to notice this sort of stuff, and to consciously or unconsciously present myself as being the high-level badass I clearly am 😉 … it’s not my actual identity, is it?
This is not just because I didn’t get to where I make this money –
Or could afford my multi-million buck dream home on the beach or my 200k dream car or whatever –
Or the best styling or creative visuals team in the world to fancy me up –
By being fancy!
I built my business to multi 7-figures with ONLY God-awful hack job DIY visuals and branding and just being the gym chick with sweaty hair, no makeup, a backpack.
But that’s not the reason I’m talking about this, and conscious I need to make an attention shift within. Because it is TOTALLY FINE AND GOOD TO SHOW YOUR EVOLUTION, and I WILL continue to show off my Chanel, and hot pics, and various other things that are indeed absolutely reflective of the growth of ME, and of my actual life. I mean, what am I gonna show if not my actual life? Someone else’s?! But I think it’s about showing it in a different way, which I’m about to get to. And it’s also about having faith around ‘what is actually MY path to be seen and heard more, and grow my star?’.
Here is the reason, and here is why I started writing all this today:
It’s just not who I am or what I give a flying fuck about at my core.
There are moments when it is TRULY aligned for me to be a fancy lady and show you that.
How do you know??
When it expands you.
When you’re truly feeling fuck yes about it.
When you just had an uplevel, or a moment of gratitude, and you authentically desire to share that.
When something finally clicked in for you, and you’ve been striving for it for so long, and you’re in celebration.
When something happens that really gets you into your FEELS.
When it’s true expression of self!
And most of all perhaps, because it also sums up all of the above –
When it makes your soul truly happy to do so.
My clients and friends who TOTALLY rock their visuals and / or showing off their lifestyle do so in INTEGRITY. It truly lights and lifts their soul to do so. It makes their soul happy! Rather than just ‘it makes them happy’, meaning ‘oh, okay, I ticked that shit off my list / I’m finally on top of my social media’ or whatever. You know?
Which brings us to this, and the key point I want you to remember here:
Your whole business should be led and guided by what makes your soul happy. That is the answer here!
We can’t sit here and definitely say that it’s good, bad, or anything in between to want to show your hotness, coolness, wealth, or ANYTHING else online. Don’t for a second imagine I’m saying that it’s somehow more soul-led or ‘real’ to only show your intellect, consciousness, emotional intelligence and so on. No! That stuff can absolutely also be shown for the purposes of wanting to look a certain way, be perceived a certain way.
NOTHING is definitely good or bad, appropriate or not, aligned or not, to show online. The question is always – what is right and real for YOU? And you answer it with the understanding that the answer is absolutely allowed to shift anytime, and it WILL.
Some of the times I can say with soul certainty it was ABSOLUTELY fuck yes aligned for me to post ‘status’ or lifestyle related stuff or ‘look how hot I am’:
– When I bought my first Mercedes, my dream car which I’d been manifesting actively prior to doing so
– And then when I upgraded to my next one, my current convertible
– When I manifested my dream house
– The first time I bought a Chanel bag, and the whole backstory there around how I’d sworn I’d never wear designer stuff, plus all my shit around not feeling worthy or like a ‘real grown up’
– When I found my soulmate watch, my Blvgari serpent watch (same day as the Chanel incidentally, and what an immediate $$ uplevel occurred from saying yes to my soul around this)
– Various first class travel things
– Spending $700 on dinner for myself in New York once and the whole lesson that came with that
– Drinking a bottle of Grange by myself after nearly losing my Merc and my self in flash floods
Times I know for sure I bought something or flashed my lifestyle out of some sort of sense of ‘keeping up’ with being successful:
– Buying my 55k Rolex and showing it off. I do like it … a lot … and I feel fancy or ‘high level’ with it … but soulmate watch? Not a fucking chance. That was the Blvgari. I bought the Rolex ’cause it’s a Rolex. And I am proud to have it. I’m wearing it right now haha. It’s so pretty; it has meteorite in it!! I would not say it makes my SOUL happy though. It makes a surface part of me happy. That is okay too!! But you know what I’m saying.
– 80-90% of the designer shoes and handbags and clothes I own, and also 80-90% of the time I show them on social media. It comes from a place of claiming status. I don’t believe that is Inauthentic by the way. It’s nice to have nice things. I appreciate them. I do want to show that abundance is a mindset and infinite, and as far as how much these things COST that bit is completely whatever to me because I fully live and breathe that money is infinitely available to whatever level we believe it will show up. But make my SOUL happy having or showing these things, using them in my content? Not a fucking chance. I have them because it’s a choice that I make readily available for myself, I don’t actually about them and they are not meaningful to me on a soul level. 10-20% of my fancy lady stuff IS meaningful to me on a soul level, the buying of it and the showing off of it. Why? Because with those items either my soul truly said YES, it was a soulmate item, or there was a back story to it; overcoming something internally.
Again: NOT BAD OR WRONG to have stuff just for the sake of having stuff. Abundance is infinite! I’m just separating here relevant to showing the deepest and truest side of me on social media, which I believe is essential if we’re to do our truest work in the world.
What else?
– 80-90% of the time when I show body stuff, bikini stuff, or photos where I am looking extra ‘hot’, I’m doing it from a surface place or to get attention for myself and my content. Guess what? That is okay! We are allowed to want attention! It’s an innate human need. But, hmmm, there are times when I show my body or my hotness or beauty and it is from a DEEP place. Pretty much any IG story gym type video or selfie I do is real. That is true self expression of my hotness! I am my most expanded self when I work out, I would and mostly do do it even if nobody was watching. Some of my best workouts and where I’ve felt the hottest are in my own yard or lounge, SMASHING myself, and not a single selfie taken haha. That is real for me. Standing around in bikinis by a pool, of which I have quite a few hot photos on Instagram and Facebook? Ugh. I do not feel expanded when I see these. I feel irritated. That is not what I want to be known for. It feels fake. I feel proud of my body I guess. I AM proud of my body. But I don’t need those photos to express it.
So why did I do that shoot, and other various pics which have been around showing my hotness? I don’t know. It feels like it just happened. Insecurity? Feeling not good enough? Feeling like if I am hot I am worthy? Just pretty normal female stuff!! And I guess in the moment of booking those shoots and posting the photos I do feel good about them. But it’s SURFACE good. And for sure the mindset has been in part driven by keeping up, standing out, fighting to be attention worthy so that I and my content get seen more. So I have deliberately posed, hotted myself up, and in most of those shoots I have felt zero emotion or connectedness to soul, and I walk out with my head splitting and wanting to binge eat.
Nothin’ wrong with wanting to be seen more or have your content seen more! I can’t emphasise that enough. But there IS a better way, and the place it comes from matters. More on the better way in a moment.
Hot as fuck shots where I definitely felt fully me and it was TOTALLY aligned to show that:
– The boxing shots where I’m in gold spandex in the fight gym. That shoot was SO FUCKING FUN!! And so ME. It reflected my soul and my spirit. And yeah it also happened to result in outrageously hot images. From the right place!! From my TRUTH.
– The raunchy shots in lingerie with the books. OHHHHHH yes. That makes my soul happy! I was having the best time ever that whole shoot. (Same shoot as the boxing one by the way). And while I don’t normally read encyclopaedias in my underwear, I totally WOULD haha. I just feel those shots reflect my Queen energy and my heart.
– Various selfies and shots from other shoots where it does just capture my essence, as opposed to being posed for glam or hotness.
My point being, nothing wrong with posting shots where you look hot as fuck and it can absolutely be soul led!
Consider your own business and brand now. As I’m sure you have been the whole time in reading this anyway!!
– What of your content, your messaging, your images, and anything else makes your soul truly happy?
– And what, if you’re honest, is an example of you trying to keep up or do it right? We ALL do this in some way. I am being brutal on myself with this post, because in no way do I believe I’ve ever posted something that is NOT me, but I’m picking at and pointing at all the stuff that came from a surface me, a me who wants to be validated or keep up, rather than being the truest expression of my soul, my message, my highest self. So, what is that surface stuff for you right now?
And then, where to from here?
And what to do in a world where the hottest pics on Instagram and the most visually beautiful brands definitely DO result in more attention and therefore more eyes on your truest art and soul work? Is it worth paying the price, when it’s a means to an end to get your message out there?
On the surface of it, maybe. And it’s not wrong to do that. But? I also believe it’s not necessary.
Because here’s the deal. About how magnetic soulmate client attraction works. About how to build your audience with ONLY the right peeps. And about how to actually get ’em to see you when this space feels SO crowded at times and you don’t know how to stand out.
Reality, which is hard to admit and harder still maybe to stick to and not cave on:
So I can post myself sitting around in a hot sexy bikini and draped in Chanel by a stunning pool IF THAT WAS REAL AND RAW AND TRULY ME IN THAT MOMENT and my soul was SO happy because of whatever the back story was, there was meaning that actually EXPANDED me –
And that will work. It will energetically call in my truest peeps. (And trigger TF out of those who are not yet ready for me haha).
But if I did the same shot on another day because hey, it’s hot, I look successful, it’s a great photo, then NO. That puts an energetic block up. It’s not expanding and lighting ME up, and so I shut DOWN the channels of transmission. I am not in my highest frequency, I’m actually in a frequency of contraction and SHOULD.
What am I going to attract and magnetically call in from that place? Do you understand?!
When I bother about having my branding or my IG grid or whatever all matchy matchy and beautiful, that is also coming from ‘should’. It feels like I will be happy about that, about all my biz shiz looking good, and I am … I guess … I mean I’m not NOT happy when it’s working. But light me up? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, why the fuck would it do that?
I DON’T CARE ABOUT IT. I just somehow melted into a soup of thinking I cared about it.
What I care about, or what lights me up as far as visuals? Some of my quote images. The video on my IG grid of my daughter and I dancing. The shots where I’m in that camo outfit sitting on the rocks. Boxing ones and other ones I mentioned. My little video smackdowns, which are excerpts from my livestreams. Ones with friends or clients. And as far as most of my professional photos, mostly the ones from those days which expand me are the selfies I took behind the scenes where I’m playing around. Definitely there are exceptions to this; I ADORE some of my pro shots. Any of my kids. Some random one where I’m in a God awful Balinese robe looking ridiculous on a livestream. I dunno. I had to scroll a long way back just now on my IG grid and most of it is meaningless to me. My soul is not in my IG visuals much at all. In the MESSAGING below ’em, HELL YES. And in my stories mostly yes ’cause mostly my stories are just me mucking around!
So. Let’s talk about THAT, about what hell yes actually is. And some realities about me which I believe may also apply to you.
Firstly, what does ‘on brand’ mean? For me personally being on brand has nothing to do with my visuals matching or being polished and pro.
It’s on brand for me to be off brand.
It’s on brand for me to be messy and all over the place.
It’s on brand for me to ONLY show content, written or visual, which shows my SOUL. Sometimes this is hot and polished. Often not.
And what I care about and always have cared about is LETTING MY DAMN SOUL SPEAK FOR ME.
I want you my work to inspire people and to move them into soul-aligned action and the creation of their dream business and life!
I want my SELF to be a shining example of being connected to self, not a shining example of being able to be a fancy lady.
One of the most amazing comments I’ve ever received came this week from my newest Inner Circle client Jeanna, who told me that of all the people she has worked with in this industry or known I am the most consistently and deeply grounded to self and soul. And that is what she wanted to know more about.
That is what I want YOU to know more about. I am very aware that the way people see that in me, and it is deeply true that I am that connected, is through my blogs and my livestreams.
A LOT of my visual and branding stuff lately probably energetically detracts from that, and makes it harder for my soul peeps to see me!!
I don’t need it.
And I’m going to stop doing ANY of it which comes from any place other than absolute fuck yes expansion to my soul.
I’m going to go through my IG over the coming weeks and delete everything that I don’t FUCK yes get excited about.
I got caught in a trap. Seduced by my own insecurities. Feeling I need to level up in areas I’m not naturally in love with and therefore not naturally great at, rather than remembering that the answer always was and only COULD be going deeper at being me.
People, the right people, will and always have found me through an energetic transmission.
I could have the ugliest fucking shit on the internet and never show up with anything other than a post-workout sweaty naked face and this would work.
IT IS WHAT WORKED. Haha.
Now, I won’t do that because that is not authentic. I am equally that person as well as on occasion a fancy glam person. Like I’ve said.
But mostly, I don’t CARE. I live in a flow bubble carried away by my soul and the words that come out of it. My days centre around being dropped in, and connected to highest self, not around my lifestyle or my appearance.
Energy.
Baring my soul.
Doing and showing ONLY what makes my soul happy.
TRUSTING, that even if I ignore everything else everyone else is doing, but yet I let what’s in me and ONLY what’s truly madly deeply in me come out, it will CALL IN the right people.
I could go on and on here. I’m at 4886 words and going strong lol. But in the end, it’s very very simple:
The answer to your soul-aligned fame and wealth is and always has been one and only one thing:
Go harder at being fully you.
So let’s both just go do that 🙂
For me it’s always been and always WILL be – the more I write and speak, the more money I make and the more IMPACT I create. It has never been the more I stand around in bikinis holding Chanel and wearing Louboutins haha. I’ll still do that ’cause it IS part of me but I’ll damned if I’ll allow even one more NOT fuck yes pic or ‘I can’t NOT’ approach to my branding to block my soul truth being picked up.
This is what I decide.
It’s time to go harder and deeper at (only) being fully me.
Maybe it’s not entirely true or fair that I’m a fake, a liar and an attention seeker, let’s be honest – THAT was an attention-seeking title haha. In a soul aligned way 😉
But you know what?
I’m no longer okay with even the smallest fucking thing being surface me.
And you?
\
Leave a Reply