“PERHAPS NOW YOU’LL LISTEN?”

When you’ve exhausted all options of trying to do things you’re own way, or at least gone through enough head-butting-against-wall situations that you’re really just DONE for a bit, maybe at some point, in a little pause, where you almost could ignore it, that still and small voice inside of you will pipe up and say –

“Perhaps now you’ll listen.”

When you’ve relentlessly, for too long now to even try and remember, REFUSED to listen to what’s comin’ down at you from above, to that guidance within which you KNOW is so true, and instead just continued to try and make.shit.happen yourself –

“I’ll be in charge here, or else maybe I won’t get what I want!”,

and then once AGAIN, in spite of your best efforts to push, to force, or simply to make ‘eh, maybe’ into FUCK yes, and then it STILL didn’t work, and once again you hear the voice, the feeling, the soul nudge, GOD –

“Perhaps now you’ll listen”

– what do you think you’ll do?

When you’ve traveled 100,000 miles!
Across 100,000 skies!
Been to the ends of the earth and back, or at least to the depths of your own psyche, which is certainly a more profound journey, and an honest-making one, if you actually stay woke,

But yet you STILL didn’t find what you were looking for,

and then once again God SPEAKS –

“Perhaps now you’ll listen!”

Do you think you might listen?

When you’ve searched the very DNA of the cosmos.
And you’ve made yourself into possibly the most masterful storyteller of all,
continually taking something which you KNOW God didn’t give you, soul didn’t show you, higher self never wrote, and engineering it in your crazy creator mind into something that you can make work, you have to, just watch – !

And then still of course it DOESN’T,

and once again you find yourself rolling your eyes at yourself because DUH –

YOU ALREADY KNEW THIS.

And then AGAIN God shows up, perhaps directly square on in front of you this time, and gosh DARNIT it’s getting harder to ignore and He does seem to have a point, this whole doing shit your own way ‘just in case’ God’s way doesn’t come through in time, or in case He doesn’t actually get what you want and what you need, and this time he speaks really quite LOUDLY at you –

“PERHAPS NOW YOU’LL LISTEN”

Do you think you might listen?

When you’re sitting in the stillness of truth,
and the world is quiet, thick with possibility, the realness of life and everything beyond it suddenly unavoidable,

and you put your hand on your heart.

close your eyes.

inhale
hold
exhale

and smile, just a little, at your own ridiculousness, that you, like a child who just needs to keep on learnin’ that same lesson again and again and again for now, are STILL trying to mastermind this whole dream life thang yourself, when the whole entire time you had the support and also blueprint within, engineered by God and soul in a way that your FEAR MIND, your I WANT IT NOW mind, your NOT ENOUGH mind could never, but NEVER match, not even 1% –

do you THINK then you’ll listen?

Or will it be at the end,

when you’ve spent a lifetime trying,

and day by day dying,

but never for anything that was actually your thing, because in the end it turned out –

you just never really had it in you to trust,
to let go,
and to leap,

and you take your final breath,

looking back on a life of what could have been, if only you allowed it to be beyond your own will,

and once again that voice is heard, this time quietly, a little sad, it now is what it is and time has run out –

“Perhaps now you’ll listen“

Do you think?

That in that lost moment, before the door closes for all eternity and you have just a FLICKER of time, if you’re lucky, in which to HAND OVER WHAT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TRY AND DECIDE –

Do you think then you’ll listen?

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