SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION OF BULLSHIT
The other day in my LA Hustle House, I think it was the first night, when all 6 badass ladies plus myself were fully settled in to our insane Hollywood Hills luxury mansion that we got goin’ on here, and sitting around feeling fine and vibed with all the gritty red wine and snacks, one of the women shared something like this –
We were talking about intentions for the time living here together for 4 days, and why these ladies had known they HAD to be here with me, at this experience.
“Hmmmm”, I said, in classic #ProfoundAFKat furrowed brow thought –
“Spontaneous combustion of bullshit.
We can do that!”
Everybody laughed, and (of course) I wrote down the phrase as a note for later, possibly even a program name! I’m an expert at writing myself notes for later, and sometimes open my own private gmail account to find as many as 20 or more emails just from myself to myself, about things I then end up pretty much mostly ignoring. Or else not understanding haha. Yesterday I had a note that said ‘bitcoin first hair’. Told ya – #ProfoundAF.
Anyway …
We planted the seed for spontaneous combustion of bullshit to be DONE, and of course, it already in the 36 hours in the house since then is becoming pretty unfuckingdone, for every woman here. As I told them when we entered the house – you will walk out of here an entirely new human. (I didn’t say that said identity shape-shifting wouldn’t come without some BIG and in some cases super interesting detox responses! Which it is! Haha).
But this morning as I sat down to journal briefly before heading downstairs to the house gym to take everybody through a morning circuit workout, it hit me –
I was in a story of MEGA bullshit in a particular area of my life for the past several months, and I didn’t even realise it!
Except to say – I COMPLETELY FUCKING REALISED IT, because we ALWAYS know when we are bullshitting ourselves.
But boy oh boy did I do a DAMN fine job of convincing myself and any of my friends who got to hear me go on about it that this situation made sense because of this, and that, and oh, there’s also this, and then that OTHER thing that might happen, and maybe, but, it’s okay and maybe even good because, and so on!
You know –
All the things our sentences start to start with when we are so full of shit it’s a wonder everybody’s not reeling away in disgust anytime they come near us 😉
Here’s the thing about when you are on path, and soul certain:
THERE AIN’T NO IFS, BUTS, MAYBES, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, IT’S JUST THAT, AND SO ON.
There is only:
And you couldn’t care two hoots what anybody else thinks about it, and you also have zero desire to try and explain it to them. Wtf is there to explain? NOTHING. This just is.
A rule of life we’d all do well to remember is that as soon as we start EXPLAINING shit, never mind justifying it or trying to make it make sense, we off path.
Your dream life and every damn soulmate bit of it makes sense sister. Already. In a finite way. Sure, your fear mind may tell you it’s out of reach, crazy, ‘not for you’, and how the fuck will you even BEGIN to get there, but it makes.fucking.sense. It feels simple, right, YES in your body.
>>> does the thing you are analysing the fuck out of right now feel simple, right, and YES in your body?
Okay then. 😉
So anyway, I’m journaling this morning, and I was journaling about what I want to claim and call in, what I KNOW is divined and aligned for me in this one area, and what some of the specifics of how that plays out looks like. Simple but OMFG fuck yes stuff that will just BE as this thing comes to fruition.
And then I stopped my pen and damn near laughed out loud –
Looking at what I’d just written about how I KNOW this gets to be, and then realising what I’d been entertaining in my minds eye, and also justifying the fuck out of to all my closest peeps as well as my own self in this area, up until fairly recently, was HILARIOUS.
IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM COULD THE PRACTICAL REALITY OF WHAT I’D BEEN TRYING TO MAKE A THING POSSIBLY RESEMBLE THE THING.
lololol. But God damn if I hadn’t made a pretty believable case for it, I lawyered UP in my fine safe and I fought hard to back up my arguments.
Well, I thought it was a pretty believable case, but the truth of the matter is nobody was buying it and DEFINITELY NOT ME.
Hint: your true fuck yes dream fits precisely into the shape of the vision and soul certain knowledge of your true fuck yes dream. Probably because IT’S YOUR TRUE FUCK YES DREAM!
And I think it’s funny. Don’t you? How, even when we really should know better, and we are ‘all over’ following soul, and being true to ourselves about what is really for us, that we still manage to get ourselves all tangled up in a web of bullshit here and there.
I guess we just really want the next level stuff we want so bad that sometimes we decide to overlook the fact that trying to squish the wrong damn thing into the place where the dream life goes, even though it may at first appear to somewhat fill that space, is not actually giving us jack SHIT –
nor in any way filling us up.
Being filled up by bullshit is not the thing. Haha. #shocker
But here is what’s cool:
You can flick the switch on this shit in a heartbeat. For me, when I finally acknowledged that this pile of bullshit nonsense I’d been making up and excusing to myself in my head was HELL NOT THE THING, I switched INSTANTLY. In a heartbeat. It was just – buh bye. Done. And the energy I’ve felt in my body since releasing that idea has been, well –
Nothing particularly dramatic at all. In fact I didn’t even notice it for a few days after I made the switch. Because I was NO LONGER OBSESSIVELY THINKING ABOUT THE THING THAT WAS NOT FUCK YES AND TRYING TO MAKE IT FUCK YES IN MY MIND.
What is that thing for you right now? Hmmm? Hmmm!
So when I noticed, a few days later, it was just – oh! Huh! I’m so LIGHT in that area now. Released. Free. And there is space for the soul certain REAL freakin’ thing, the thing I found myself journaling on this morning, to come in.
I KNOW how that feels.
I KNOW what soul certainty in that area looks like.
I KNOW a lot of the specifics of it, too.
And it is very very black and white as to how I myself will be in the space of allowing that into my life.
I will be light, released, high vibin’, free. Amongst other things.
What I will not be is think think thinking,
weighing up,
trying to make sense of,
trying to squish somebody else’s fucking dream life (if it even is anyone’s!) into a hole which can only be filled by MY ACTUAL VISION.
You know?
And so here is what I want to say to you today:
You already know where you’re full of shit.
You can cut chords WITH that shit right now, today, in a heartbeat.
Spontaneous combustion of bullshit was never something you had to work towards, figure out, or make happen.
Your finger has been on the switch the whole damn time sister.
It’s a DAMN good feeling 😉
And remember, as you think about whether you’re brave enough, can bear it, or if you can really handle or WANT to handle jumping yourself back into the void right now –
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