PLAY INTO THE CAMERA, GIVE THEM A SHOW, TURN THE DIAL UPPPPPP, AND BE THE MOTHER.FUCKING.STAR

Are you ready and is it time now and are you ready and shall we GO?!

Okay then.

Let’s begin –

YES?

YES.

I know why you’re bored, and that you can’t, and not even.

I know why you don’t wanna, and who the fuck really CARES, and it’s so EASY, and the whole entire damn point was SUPPOSED to be for it to be easy, so what in the actual fuck are you complaining about? And yet –

I know why it feels like the days just drag on and on –

And you get the results you REALLY want, of course you do, you might jump up and down and stamp your feet from time to time, say – “why aren’t I THERE yet?!”, but really –

EVERY time you’ve ever actually fucking decided something, made your mind up, said it was DONE –

It’s been motherfucking done.

And you know it.

So don’t BULLSHIT me that you don’t have what you want, you have ALWAYS had what you actually want, precisely when you decided you actually wanted it, and so THERE.

And now –

Now.

You do the things, you do the things, you DO the damn things, to keep it all going, and flowing, and it’s good –

It’s nice – 

It’s – 

Interesting …

You suppose.

But yet something inside of you is SCREAMING at the God-awful boringness of the whole damn thing and also –

By the way!

What are you supposed to DO exactly, if it’s just gonna be so damn EASY now?

You can fill your days – 
Playing with things – 
Doing some things – 
Being pretty and having fun, and going here and there and everywhere!

The truth is that having everything you ever wanted, while absolutely SUPER cool as fuck for sure –

Is not especccciiiiiaaallllly fulfilling.

And the truth is –

That as much as you don’t wanna admit it –

(Or maybe you do and it IS time?!)

You kinda sorta DEFINITELY fucking miss the thrill.

Of the push.

Of the CHASE.

Of the can I fucking can I fucking CAN I fucking make it, I don’t know if I’m gonna make it, can I pull this OFF, oh God I’m not gonna, and there it goes ALL crashing down, and fuck fuck fuck what do I DO, and then you just DO.

Like a motherfucking PHOENIX, of course, what else?!

You miss the not knowing.
You miss the uncertainty.
You miss having a MISSION, something to live for, something to GIVE for, something which felt at times like it was tearing you limb from limb but REALLY what was happening was that you were THRIVING ON THE BADASSERY OF IT ALL.

And with every BURN –
The shit which people shy away from and THINK they want to GET away from –
You became stronger.
Like a warrior.
Fucking princess.
Like a QUEEN.

You were molded like STEEL into the magnetic and brazen and BOLD-faced beauty you are, and this is why they LOOK at you like that and FOLLOW you and want a PIECE of you, even just to TOUCH you, or be AROUND you, and so they PAY for that –

Of course

(as well they should!)

And you –

Meanwhile – 

While FULLY loving it – 

Are just a teensy

Little bit

Fucking BORED.

And the reason for that is simple, of course, do I have to say?

No! But I will anyhow –

Somewhere along the way you forget, or perhaps you just never fully realised –

That the whole damn point of the whole damn point of the ACTUAL point was never actually the ‘gettin’ to done’.

The getting to where money is ALWAYS available, you can ALWAYS have what you want, you are FULLY taken care of, and everything is SORTED.

It’s …

Lovely.

Quite nice.

Like a cup of tea.

And a scone.

Why would you say no; you wouldn’t!

You’re grateful.

Truly.

And you’d never change it, and you are PROUD of yourself for doing the damn work to create all of this, too.

But the truth is that that was NEVER the point, and now you’re starting to wake up and realise that the thing you THRIVED on and which made you ALIVE, was the actual.fucking.push.itself.

You see, we’re not like the other entrepreneurs, you and I.

We’re not like the girls who are just for the pretty, for the polished, for the perfect.

Look Ma! I made a nice little place on the website and look how FANCY! People come along and pay me things and I sit back, and cross my legs OH so daintily, and twirl my hair and laugh and laugh and laugh.

They’re happy like that, the stepfords; you know?

It’s all they ever wanted.

To make money so they can do fuck all with the fuck all which is ACTUALLY inside of them.

But you and I, WE didn’t come here for that.

We may have wanted to extricate ourselves out of the business –

But not out of our LIVES –

And the thing is –

We are in the BUSINESS of living our damn LIVES, but GLORIOUSLY, and that IS the damn business, you know?

You know.

So while we may sit there and look pretty and have the things and do the things and BE the damn thing, and laugh and laugh and laugh, the reality is that if THAT is all there is?

We’re crying and crying and crying, and just about DYING inside.

To PUSH is to BREATHE.

To CHASE is to FEEL.

To not know if we CAN, and then we fucking DO, is –

Well.

It’s life.

It’s who we ARE.

And we will NEVER be done.

So now –

As you sit there –

And you wonder –

Why you’re so HEAVY with all of it, why it just doesn’t get you GOING anymore, and why it is that even the BIGGEST launch in the world would actually not do anything for you anymore except for it’s COOL and NICE and of COURSE –

Let me tell you something:

You didn’t come here to run the damn show, and you CERTAINLY didn’t come here to sit back and WATCH it run itself while YOU sit back and just wait to get paid.

You came here to play into the camera – 

To GIVE them a show – 

To turn the dial UP – 

And to be the motherfucking star.

Forget doing a single fucking thing because you think it will benefit your BIZ-niz. The truth is that THAT was never actually how you got to even where you ARE right now.

It came from the flow.
It came from the thrill.
It came from following what you can’t NOT.

And all I’m saying, really, is –

What if you just did that again?

All day.

And in every freakin’ way.

DON’T FORGET WHO YOU ALWAYS SAID YOU KNEW YOU’D BE.

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