FRAGMENTED IDENTITY, RESTORED
If you’re not feeling the presence of God in the way you suspect you should or could be, it MIGHT be that you’re in a season of simply needing to press in obediently regardless, and?
It might be a simple matter of the fact that you are repeatedly not doing what YOU have been tasked to do, which allows Him to work THROUGH. Through you gorgeous, not only for the good and the feeding of those whose souls will be fed and spirits filled up by what He pours out of you, but also –
for you.
Before I had God rightly at the centre of my business and my life I spoke a lot about ‘the work is the cure’. This has been a favourite statement of mine for years, and speaks to the fact that for some of us? Those called as messengers, revolutionaries, way-makers, people who RECEIVE or TRANSMIT a thing and then share it with the world … or simply any person who is an artist in any way or for whom their work has become FLOW –
what we DO is much more about who we ARE and what we NEED then what it is about producing an outcome.
For this kind of person, and I suspect that since you’re here reading this, this is you, the truth is that it’s not about making money. Hitting that ‘next level’. Growing or furthering growth. Or even helping people and delivering high quality goods!
All of these things are secondary or, put more correctly, just a BY-product, of what it is really about.
Which is that the work is the cure. Is to be done for its own sake. First and foremost for the reason that IF YOU DON’T DO IT YOU COME UNDONE. Or, to put it in the eloquent words of Eminem (Survival) – “if I don’t do this shit I lose my shit”. Yep. And yep. And yep!
I’ve helmed and seen sustained what most in the world would consider a one of a kind online empire for years now by simply … doing what I needed to do for me. SORRY GIRLFRIEND, IT WAS NEVER ABOUT YOU! In fact, the few things I have written or created or sold which were simply ‘because I thought people would need or want them’ were the worst of what I ever created. Technically good, perhaps. But lifeless to ME at least, because they came about for the wrong reasons. Any reason other than ‘THIS IS WHAT IS COMING OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW’ being the wrong reason. They were also the most arduous things to produce, monetize, and deliver.
No thank you!
Now.
When I say ‘the work is the cure’ and ‘without it I come undone’, let me be clear I am not talking about your work, your art, your calling, being an idol. Although of course it can easily be made to be, and I certainly was guilty of this before I asked God to convict me and take over my life.
This is precisely why (well, one reason why) God had to completely strip back and renew my business as well as me.
Put RIGHTLY though, for those of us who are called to unleash a thing …
the work is the cure IN that what it IS is –
saying yes to who God brought you here to be.
And in no uncertain terms it is also –
saying yes to how He speaks to ME.
Me being you, in your own work. Me being me right now, as I do this work.
I was on my knees just before, in my morning time with God, and pretty close to if not actually beating my fists on the ground in pent up frustration as I cried out and asked God to just let me feel His presence. Don’t get me wrong … it hasn’t been months since I did so … I feel the presence of God come over me most every day and often dramatically so. Which I find unsurprising as I believe I hear my Fathers voice, I believe He wants to spend time with me and tell me great and mighty things which I do not know, and I also actively spend a lot of time and space before God. I SEEK Him. And I find Him. Often shockingly so.
But sometimes I just feel as though … I’m missing something. Partly this is my own human tendency towards always thinking I need to do more in order to be enough. Something I actively have been speaking truth over and breaking off me in Jesus Name! But the other part was a simple awareness –
I could be more dropped in with the Holy Spirit right now, and I’m not. Look, we have to be conscious not to always go looking for that ‘hit’. Obedience to God, and a discipline of living for HIM means that there will be plenty of times when our Bible reading, prayer time, studying, meditating on or with God, doesn’t come with any particular ‘OOMPH’ to it.
The quiet satisfaction of knowing we did what we are here to do (glorify and praise and seek God) being our reward.
And yet … His presence IS palpable.
We LONG to feel it, sense it, virtually SEE Him walking alongside us, and receive what He has for us that day. It is literal LIVING WATER OUR SPIRIT CRAVES. And so it is natural to desire that wave of Holy Spirit flow to wash over and through us, filling us up once more to overflowing.
As I prayed, beseeched God, no less, to help me understand why I still have such a return pattern to thinking I need to DO so much, and felt the day glaring at me with a sense of ‘no matter what I do it won’t be enough’, and cried out to just FEEL Him take over me as He so often does, I heard a quiet whisper –
Just write now.
“Ack, write!” I thought. “Obviously I’m going to write. I ALWAYS write!”. lol. Don’t imagine me ungracious, I LOVE to write. But in that moment it felt like … “sure sure God, of course. And then what?”
It felt like already the day was about being in the DO and I just wanted to be dropped in in the BE, in the FLOW, in Him, in what is TRUE. In the place where the things get done automatically FROM my dance with Him, not outside or towards or in a human sense ‘hope’ for it.
But I got up dutifully to write, feeling weighted by the idea of a day in which I simply DO things and perpetually feel as though I should be doing OTHER things, perpetually craving that all consuming all sweeping all slate-wiping presence of God to get me out of my MIND, and all too aware of my own stories that ‘I’d be in that flow if only I could blah blah blah insert conditions which are never actually true unless God told ’em to you’ –
And I sat down to grab my laptop and write.
Feeling a piece coming through about fragmented identity. About how we carry around all these pieces of who we once were. Thinking we still need to attend to them. Rather than setting them down, handing them over to God, actually, and simply –
being who we are now.
As I settled myself on the couch a thought hit me –
“You’ve been letting me take over you a little less lately in your work”.
“This is the missing link”.
THE WORK IS THE CURE.
I haven’t been teaching, going live, or pouring out quite as much the last week.
I know, I know – somebody reading this may not have been letting God take over them the way they were designed for for years. I’m talking about the past week or so as though I’ve been in the wilderness for a generation. And in that pass week I have written most daily, and also taught powerfully. Just – not as much as what I am called for. Due to travel. And a little disorganisation which God has been nudging me on around my schedule and how I arrange things.
The thing is though …
we are who God says we are. We are who He made us to be.
Not the you of yesteryear or even yesterday, who still has pieces of herself all over the place which need attending to. PUT DOWN THE NO LONGER FOR YOU OR OF YOU THINGS.
Not the past you who still thinks she has to do things this way, or that, or that, and then she can relax.
YOUR IDENTITY IS NOT FRAGMENTED IN GOD AND YOU DON’T NEED TO CARRY AROUND OLD BITS.
Just be who you are now.
Not ANY idea of who YOU or the WORLD or your INDUSTRY or even your LOVED ones think you need to be.
Just –
who God says you are now.
And so when He says write … just write.
When He says pour forth … pour forth.
When He says speak to that person … just walk over.
When He says stop fussing with all of that and give it to me … don’t ask how.
When He says jump … ask how high. Or better still,
just jump
and know that He will catch you
always
in Him.
Look.
We are each wired to continually seek what we think we need to do or be in order to be enough, or to ‘get there’. But THAT wiring? It’s not the wiring of who you are in Christ.
So you can either keep on muddling around with it without Him, tinkering and twisting bits all over the place and hoping you somehow line it all up … ultimately perpetually drained by the fact that once again you seem to have crossed the wires or else there’s still just more to do …
or you can just listen to His whisper in your spirit right now
to Him saying ‘jump. Over here!’
and to the reality BEYOND your own human sense,
that in Him you are perfectly whole,
complete,
and free.
So next time you’re trying to figure out what to DO, to get there, just –
don’t.
And go to where He already did.
And OH LOOK –
there came that flow 😉
Now remember –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS
The Secret Garden gorgeous, are you coming? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN, and …?
We are closing today.
Today.
TODAY.
This is the place God GAVE me for you, to walk into all that should BE for you, in your business. Your money. Your life.
I teach live … the group is live … the Holy SPIRIT is there … and?
You’re supposed to be in. To listen to the prophetic prayer He had me make you to begin. And then to DIVE in, to what is already created (I’d start with the Money the God way training and the Creative Renewal training, EEK … talk about WHOA, God!) …
and to join me in the ongoing. To join US.
This place was, I first thought, a vision God had given me just for me. For my own business. The Secret Garden …
and then one day only weeks ago (feels like months!) as I asked Him why I couldn’t seem to get behind growing my membership at the time despite how great it is, I heard – “but it’s The Secret Garden”.
OF COURSE GOD.
It’s the Secret Garden.
My new low cost membership. THE core place God is having me teach. And the place He had me make,
for you.
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN.
Come see what God GAVE you,
at www.thekatrinaruthshow.com/thesecretgarden
WE CLOSE TODAY.
PPS
The Prophetic Bootcamp is my newest (also God given + instructed!) 30 day live course, and?
Just a do not miss. God told me – you need to start declaring what will be. And then, not long after – you need to run a 30 day live Prophetic Bootcamp, and teach people.
Join here for $99 (or pay in 2) or receive it free when you join The Secret Garden.
www.thekatrinaruthshow.com/propheticbootcamp
Questions? DM ME AND LET’S TALK. I love you and I’m praying for you!
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