Your Greatest Hurdle to Success: Get Out of Your Own Way!
Success is such a funny game, don’t you think?
We get all fired up, energised, and excited about what we want – perhaps while attending a seminar or event, or when speaking with our mentor or mastermind buddies, or just in a particularly caffeine-fuelled journaling session. We’re certain, we’re ready, and we’re going to make! shit! Happen!
We write PLANS and ACTION STEPS for God’s sakes!
And then, for the most part and no matter which way you might try to glam it otherwise, we go back to doing precisely what we were doing before, within a week or so usually, and often less.
Which is to say –
Taking vague and careful action, trying not to rock the boat TOO much, trying to maintain equilibrium so that, you know – people still like us and buy shit from us and so that we are SAFE.
Well guess what sister?
Safe doesn’t equal success.
In fact I’d go so far as saying that trying to make sure you stay SAFE is a surefire way to EVADE success!
Oh, so you think you’re not playing it safe, that you’re a rebel with a cause, you know what you want and hell NO you’re not afraid to take it and that YOU are one of the 1% within the 1% who actually GO ALL IN?
You’re playing it safe when you say you don’t want to DO that again, not really, not that way, but yet you keep doing it because that’s where the money is coming from or where you think it is going to.
You’re playing it safe when you nod your head as a client spins bullshit about why they haven’t taken action and why that’s okay, and you EMPATHISE with them instead of telling them what they actually need to hear.
You’re playing it safe when you tell people that ‘x’ is the way to success and that yes, of course you can show them, when the truth is you don’t give a fuck about x, you hate x, x can go take a long walk off a short cliff for all you care because it’s not ABOUT x and why can’t people see that and besides which YOU are not even good at x!
You’re playing it safe when you don’t tell them about y, which is what they really need and you know it, but you’re scared they won’t care, won’t listen, won’t PAY.
You’re playing it safe – and kinda like a ho – when you do shit for money that you don’t really believe in, for people you don’t ADORE, and in a way that doesn’t suit you.
You’re playing it safe – and STUPID – when you continually shelve having a REAL crack at your REAL dreams, actually admitting those dreams in the first place and being okay with dreaming ’em!
You’re playing it safe when you spend your days RESPONDING to people because you have to keep up, gotta stay on top of things, gotta be professional, can’t risk upsetting anyone, gotta work for that dollar honey and make sure they LIKE you, instead of spending your days PROACTIVELY not giving a fuck about whether people like you because YOU sure as hell won’t like you if you’re not living your life all out AS you.
You’re playing it safe when you once again tone those fired up fantasy dreams down a little –
Tweak them to make sure they’re REALISTIC –
Or say that you can’t yet because you’re not sure, not ready, can’t afford it, and besides, what if?
You’re playing it safe because you’re not going all in.
You’re playing it safe because you rarely even fucking admit what going all in would MEAN to you!
You’re playing it safe because you spend the MAJORITY of your time and energy fighting for a cause that is NOT YOUR TRUE CAUSE.
You’re playing it safe because right now, you’re trying to make it work for right now so that one day, it works the way you really want it to.
Well guess what honey? You will reap what you sow.
Not just because you’re nodding your head right now, thinking fuck, yes, I am.
And fuck, yes, WHAT the fuck is with this, why don’t I just DO it already?!
But because if you weren’t?
If you were playing ALL OUT for the life you want, to create the business and have the impact you DESIRE?
I would have noticed you.
And so would everybody else.
But how the heck is anybody gonna see the real you when it’s hiding behind the primped and polite stepford-you?
THAT’S ALL WE SEE.
The careful girl.
Who blends in.
With the other careful folks.
Who blend in.
To one big stepford-y pile of blandness.
Which we collectively call – entrepreneurs. Or coaches. Or consultants. Or nothing at all, because why would we call people we don’t see anything, really?!
But which we absolutely do not call leaders.
Which we absolutely do not SEE something in.
Which we absolutely, for the very most part, simply don’t NOTICE.
Because why on earth would we notice you when all you’re doing is rehashing the same stuff the rest of your industry is doing?
When even the more assertive or ‘out there’ stuff you try and do is just a copy of someone else’s TRUTH?
When you don’t DO ANYTHING WORTH NOTICING?
You’re so darn safe.
You want to BE safe.
But here’s the thing about playing it safe, so that you can be safe, so that things work until such time as you can do the real work you want to do –
It is NOT fucking safe to expect true success – financial or otherwise – to come by trying to follow along with a system of PEOPLE PLEASING and paint-by-numbers entrepreneurship which for the VERY most part results in failure!
It is NOT fucking safe to place YOUR destiny in the hands of somebody else, which is what you’re doing every time you fail to do you!
It is NOT fucking safe to KID yourself that if you’re a good girl and do things the right way, the appropriate way, the careful way, that at some point some magical deity will come and pat you on the back and tell you that your reward is you now get to live the life you really want!
And it is in NO WAY FUCKING SAFE to think you can afford to continue letting the days pass by in this manner; that there’ll still be time for going all in, and that you really WILL do it one day, despite the fact that with every day that passes you continue to TRAIN yourself into so-called safety which is to say you TRAIN YOURSELF OUT OF SUCCESS.
So here is what you need to know about success.
Here is what it takes to create success the WAY YOU WANT IT.
1. Be bold about what you want, and be fucking clear.
Wishy-washy dreams create wishy-washy outcomes. Pretty simple.
SAYING you are all in does not mean you are all in.
ACTING as though you are all in – day in and day out and no matter the outcome – means you are all in.
3. Ignore what anybody else has to say or think about your goals and actions.
Are they you? No? Then they’re not qualified to comment on what is right for you. If they are somebody who has achieved what you want to achieve then the are worth LISTENING to and LEARNING from but you still have to decide the action forward and then do it.
If they have not achieved what you want to achieve their opinion is literally worthless, and listening to it makes YOU stupid.
Somebody believing that they have your best interests at heart, and care about you, whether or not this is true, does not make them qualified to comment on how you can reach your best outcomes!
You want it? Then frreaking well own it (see Step 1) and then do what is necessary. No trying. Just doing. If you don’t FULLY believe you’ll get there why waste your time trying? Trying gets you nowhere. Trying is safe. Trying is for stepfordpreneurs. Trying is for those who want pats and hugs and fairy floss kisses and a gold star for effort rather than to win the fucking race. Winners don’t try, winners WIN.
5. Be commited to the work regardless of how you feel about it
Stop second-guessing yourself.
Stop worrying about what might happen.
Stop doing the outcome-based work based on whether you FEEL like it.
Stop playing the dance of the fool, with one foot in for just a second before you run screaming back to the shore like a silly little girl, pretending you want to go all in but meanwhile the winners are already fully submerged and they are NOT waiting for you.
If you question whether you are allowed to succeed, then guess what – you’re not.
If you question whether you’re GOING to succeed, then guess what – you won’t.
If you worry whether you will fail or it will hurt, then guess what, you will and it will! Those last two are true ANYWAY by the way. Which has nothing to do with your ultimate ability or CHOICE to succeed.
WILLING TO SUFFER
7. Be willing to suffer for your dreams
If you can’t face being broke for as long as it takes to succeed, don’t bother starting.
If you can’t face the endless uncertainty and not knowing, and waiting until your hard efforts pay off, then don’t bother starting.
If you can’t face the TURMOIL and TORTURE of your best efforts at first not paying off and perhaps for a LONG time not paying off then don’t. bother. starting.
if you can’t face the knowledge that your worst fears MIGHT COME TRUE then don’t bother starting.
If you can’t face whatever comes your way, whatever people think, whatever it takes and however much of it it takes then very simply? Don’t bother starting.
But most of all, and this is what it really comes down to because otherwise everything I just said is just nice to think about, nice to FIRE YOU UP like a good ole’ motivational seminar or speech –
If you can’t start now –
ALL OUT –
And with FULL determination and certainty that you WILL get there?
Then don’t bother starting.
Decide what you want.
Go and get it.
Anything that you believe makes it LESS simple than this? Is you getting in your own way. It’s not the universe out to get you. It’s not God not smiling on you. It’s not because you don’t have time or money or what the fuck ever.
It’s just you.
Not really wanting it.
So get out of your own way.
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.