How to Stop Self-Medicating With Food / Alcohol / Facebook / Whatever
When I am out of alignment in how I’m doing business – and life – I tend to sabotage myself pretty heavily in a variety of areas.
I don’t know if this is a ‘Kat’ thing, or if perhaps you can relate?
I know for me that anytime I trap myself into doing work that’s not my true calling, stuff that kind of sucks me in and down and weighs heavy on me, I seem to try and ‘balance it out’ by creating false freedom through overeating.
Overeating is just one of my sabotages, but it’s a biggie for me. I was bulimic for 10 years, off and on, and what I learned about bulimia and binge eating is that it’s the ‘take back control’ sabotage often employed by control freaks who feel NOT in control. To me this makes total sense even though it seems slightly perverse – how is stuffing yourself silly a way of being IN control?!
But it is – when you’re bingeing it’s like the world slows down, and nothing can touch you. You’re in a food vortex where the only thing that matters is that repetitive hand to mouth motion. It’s like the ultimate stress release. Except of course it’s rather stressful walking around every day with the shame not to mention physical reactions to abusing your body like that!!
So – it’s a bad habit; a pattern I fall back to when I feel frustrated, stuck, like a speeding train hurtling in the wrong direction. Not the bulimia anymore, that’s gone thank God. But I’ll admit I feel the pull at times; the devil on my shoulder telling me to go for the quick release. The truth is I’m too weak to: I know how quickly I get addicted to things, to behaviours, to ideas and I dare not even look at that path. And yeah … I do realise that the reasons for me not wanting to fucking binge and purge should extend beyond THAT, but there you have it. That’s the real reason I don’t do it anymore, although I guess that does connect back to health and mental sanity reasons.
But the overeating … even insidiously … that pattern is still there. I guess it’s more socially acceptable, and so I’ve made it more acceptable in MY mind. And I guess MY version of overeating is potentially quite lame in the scheme of things, but the fact remains:
When I’m not happy in my business, or in the way I’m sharing – or not! – my truth with the world and in how I’m helping people – I push down the frustration and fear with food. I use it to release and escape. I’m aware that I do this … but also not aware or really noticing it on a day to day basis. It just creeps up.
Lately, for a while really, I’ve been in complete alignment with how I’m doing business. I threw out the rulebook sometime back – and it’s a bit of a daily battle but one I generally win – and I really just show up and work MY magic in a way that feels awesome for me. My business is now completely based around sharing my truth and my message, doing exactly the work I do best with clients I love and in a way that suits me down to the ground. It fucking rocks, to be honest with you! I still have to pinch myself that I can not only make money this way but GREAT money.
And interestingly … the overeating faded away at some point recently.
Interestingly … or not … the need to stuff down my feelings, to feel some blessed escape or release by blanking out the world with food just … went. Maybe because I’m now choosing to live in a world I don’t want to blank out?!
Interestingly … or not … I seem to be more inspired, motivated, energised and empowered in other areas of my life as well, like my workouts, like my relationship, like my interests and hobbies outside of work. (I do have some okay!).
There is a pretty strong link between alignment and sabotage.
I think we talk about alignment all the time as something we should ‘get’ to have, and well we should. Why the heck shouldn’t we be able to do business, life, US on our terms? It’s POSSIBLE, so just DO it right?
And yes – the outcome or benefit of living in alignment – which is essentially to say valuing the stuff you value – is of course well worth the effort simply for the outcome of YOU GET TO LIVE IN ALIGNMENT.
But there is so much more to it than that!
When you choose to do business – life – you – from a place of alignment EVERYTHING works better.
You know that concept of the ‘vicious cycle’, how one bad thing drags you into another and another and you just get sucked into this shit spiral?
Living in alignment has the opposite effect.
When you choose to create your business based on who you really are, what you really stand for, what you actually give a damn about and what your true message to share with the world is, you not only say hell yeah to having a BUSINESS that is infinitely more fun and flow-based, but you OPEN THE DOORS TO JOY AND ABUNDANCE in all areas.
You’ll tend to take better care of your health … (even if this is an area you long struggled with) …
You’ll tend to sleep better – also weirdly FASTER and deeper! You will need less sleep and you’ll feel better …
You’ll hold your head high and feel more ‘switched on’ within who you are…
You’ll feel more powerful … which can also make you more EMPOWERED to stand up for what you believe and want in ALL areas, so it kind of feeds back into itself (opposite-to-vicious-cycle!) … you’ll likely feel more SEXY and confident in yourself as well …
You’ll tend to honour yourself in terms of how you dress, how you take care of yourself, the standards you expect for yourself …
You’ll be less of a bitch and more fun to be around smile emoticon
You’ll sweat the small stuff less …
You’ll handle stress more easily …
You’ll make MONEY more easily, WAY more easily (never mind the critical link between wealth and doing the work you were called for, which is a whole ‘nother post!) …
You’ll manage your money better …
You’ll be more likely to connect with your internal self, even your spiritual self …
You’ll basically LOVE LIFE and love YOU more and actively ALLOW yourself to live a life you love.
It’s like some kind of magical fucking pill or something. You want more money, better sex, a hot body and constant over the top fun and happiness? JUST STOP DOING STUFF THAT ISN’T RIGHT FOR YOU!
It seriously can be that easy. The reality is that you weren’t born to live a sucky life where you feel like shit half the time and have to kick your own butt into doing what’s necessary. If you have to constantly try and MOTIVATE yourself to take action it’s a sure bet that a bunch of the actions you’re taking right NOW are not aligned for you.
Don’t you realise that we are ALLOWED to live a life of joy?
Yes, of course struggle is part of life but there is JOY in a struggle based on alignment.
You look around at how most people live their lives – be it your parents, partner, friends, how YOU perhaps have lived up until now – and the norm is fucking horrible:
Tired all the time
Slightly depressed
Wilted
Weighed down by the reality of how life is
Making the best of it
Scheduling in escapes and ‘fun’ whether it be holidays or a weekly massage or whatever “This is how it is”
And that’s the people who are the so-called happier and more successful ones! It’s ACCEPTED that part of life is being tired, worn out, frustrated.
It’s ACCEPTED that you have to pay the man – with 40 years plus of your fucking LIFE – before you can really live on your terms … if you ever can.
It’s ACCEPTED that you have to suck it up and do a bunch of stuff you don’t really like so that once a week or for a few hours a day or a few weeks a year or whatever you can, what? Actually live? Except you’re so busy recovering from the not living that is EATING YOUR SOUL.
We. Were. Born. To. FLY.
We were born with a PURPOSE.
We were brought to this earth with a MISSION, with gifts and talents and ways of seeing things that nobody else but us can ever possibly see.
Life is supposed to be FUN. It’s supposed to make you FEEL good! It’s supposed to be a joy to get up in the morning, to excitedly look forward to the day ahead, to be damn grateful because you truly are so blessed and I mean FULLY blessed with a life you couldn’t ask more of, I don’t mean yes I’m so blessed because I get to make XXX $ p/hour and take a vacation to somewhere fancy once a year.
THIS IS NOT HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE … needing to medicate with food or alcohol or Facebook or fucking trash TV or news or just the constant, unwavering, heavy knowledge that this is not how you saw your life turning out.
It doesn’t have to be this way! And I seriously am close to crying right here as I right this because I so greatly feel the need to shake the world and say THIS IS NOT HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE.
We are brought here to help each OTHER to fly and if you don’t share your gifts with the world then who the hell will? And one day it will be too late.
So today I want to ask something of you.
Something that took me many years of repeatedly asking of myself before I could listen.
Take a look at your sabotages.
Your food stuff, your body stuff, your drinking stuff, the fighting or the resisting or the avoidance or whatever it is.
And with GRATITUDE for this red flag you’ve been given, ask yourself:
What is this actually about?
What am I eating, yelling, running my way out of or away from?
What is it that’s weighing so heavily on me about how I’m living my life that I feel the need to escape and to blur the pain?
Another way of asking:
What do I really want, and who do I want to be, in business, in life, in me?
And then just take the fucking leap gorgeous. There’s nothing more you need to know, nothing else you can learn or prepare to be ready or capable of living the life you crave and were born for. And even if you don’t really know what that life is then if the one you’re living right now is NOT it? Then walk the fuck away already.
Walk away from EVERYTHING if need be.
You think that’s too scary, you don’t know how, what if this, what if that?
OKAY THEN. Just lay down and stop piping up about it while you wait for your heartrate to reflect the fact you’re already planted in the grave.
We have one life gorgeous. It’s happening now. Wake the fuck up. And live it like you mean it.
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